A couple of stories from yesterday and today.
I can't bypass privacy laws or give legal advice
SC: My brother has an account with you.
Me: ... <Yes, he does, but you're not on it.>
SC: He needs to add either me or our other brother to the account.
Me: ... <trying to look like I'm following without verifying what she's saying>
SC: He's homebound, and he called to tell me his account was overdrawn, then it wasn't, then he sent someone over with a deposit, and it would be so much easier if someone else was on the account with him.
Me: Well, he would need to initiate that. But once he calls to add someone to his account, you could take the paperwork to him.
SC: But I don't want to be ON the account. I don't want to be responsible for his money. But I want to be able to help him out when he needs it.
Me: Then your only option would be to get power of attorney, which you would need to go to a lawyer to draw up.
SC: <stares at me>
Me: Sorry, we don't have any other options. <Our signature cards don't have a place for authorized signers.>
Family Fued
This story actually started yesterday, when one of our younger customers (YC) walked into the bank with her grandmother (I think. Could have been stepmom or something, I'm not sure.) The YC wasn't sucky, but the situation was and her mother (who came in today) was.
YC: I want to take my name off the account I have that's got my mom on it.
Me: <looks, sees YC just turned 18 last month> I see that there's a note on here that you can't withdraw anything without your mom's signature.
YC: Yeah. I really want to close the account, but with the way it's set up, I can't. So I just want to take my name off of it.
Me: <wonders for a moment why she can't get her mom to sign for the withdrawal, but decides it's none of my business> Ok. We just need to do a form to change the names on the account and do a new signature card. I'll have you sign the form, then your mom will need to sign it and the new signature card.
YC: Ok.
Me: Just so you know, your name won't actually come off of the account until your mom comes in and signs.
YC: Ok.
So I fill out the form and have her sign. She and her grandma/stepmom/whatever seem happy and leave.
I proceed to type up the new signature card in just the mom's name (I'll start calling her SC from right here). I try to call SC to let her know she needs to come in and sign. The phone number we have under SC's name is disconnected. The number we have under her other daughter's name rings at SC's mom's house, who tells me to never call her regarding anything to do with SC.
So I attempt to flex my Google-fu. Searches for SC yeild the disconnected number. Searches under SC's place of business (the local headshop
) yeild two different numbers - one says the mailbox is full, the other has a generic voicemail. So I leave a voicemail where I can. I look again on the mainframe, and see that SC has a savings account with a friend. I leave a message on the friend's voicemail, just saying that I need to talk to SC.
[ASIDE]While I was trying my Google-fu, the bank president and two of the senior officers walked into the bank. I actually had getweed.com or some such up on my screen when the bank president walked over to say hi. He didn't ask, so I don't think he noticed. <whew> [/ASIDE]
The message to the friend must have worked, because this morning, SC called. I explained she needed to come in and sign. She seemed ok with that. And the correct phone number? The one listed under the headshop where the mailbox was full.
Then she got to my desk.
SC: YC wanted her name off the account, huh? Well, it's her loss.
Me: I have everything typed up. I just need you to sign.
SC: I just want to close the account.
Me:
Ok, I'll write up a withdrawal slip. What do you want to do with the money?
SC: I'll put it in my other daughter's account.
Me: <writes up withdrawal and deposit slips>
SC: I can't believe her grandmother convinced her to do this.
Me: ... <none of my business>
SC: And her dad convinced her she doesn't need to go to college. She's just going to loaf on her grandma's couch for who knows how long.
Me: Here's your receipt.
Here's what I wanted to say: Look, lady. You and your current husband sell drug paraphenalia and synthetic drugs (and possibly actual drugs, but I don't know that) out of a headshop with a deliberately vulgar name. You already closed your business savings account with us because you were paranoid that we were going to report the ungodly amounts of cash you were funneling through it. Your daughter probably knows all this and is afraid she's going to be indicted when all this goes south. Because I'm sure you've been depositing money from this shady business into your daughters' savings accounts. If I were her, I wouldn't want anything to do with you, either!
I can't bypass privacy laws or give legal advice
SC: My brother has an account with you.
Me: ... <Yes, he does, but you're not on it.>
SC: He needs to add either me or our other brother to the account.
Me: ... <trying to look like I'm following without verifying what she's saying>
SC: He's homebound, and he called to tell me his account was overdrawn, then it wasn't, then he sent someone over with a deposit, and it would be so much easier if someone else was on the account with him.
Me: Well, he would need to initiate that. But once he calls to add someone to his account, you could take the paperwork to him.
SC: But I don't want to be ON the account. I don't want to be responsible for his money. But I want to be able to help him out when he needs it.
Me: Then your only option would be to get power of attorney, which you would need to go to a lawyer to draw up.
SC: <stares at me>
Me: Sorry, we don't have any other options. <Our signature cards don't have a place for authorized signers.>
Family Fued
This story actually started yesterday, when one of our younger customers (YC) walked into the bank with her grandmother (I think. Could have been stepmom or something, I'm not sure.) The YC wasn't sucky, but the situation was and her mother (who came in today) was.
YC: I want to take my name off the account I have that's got my mom on it.
Me: <looks, sees YC just turned 18 last month> I see that there's a note on here that you can't withdraw anything without your mom's signature.
YC: Yeah. I really want to close the account, but with the way it's set up, I can't. So I just want to take my name off of it.
Me: <wonders for a moment why she can't get her mom to sign for the withdrawal, but decides it's none of my business> Ok. We just need to do a form to change the names on the account and do a new signature card. I'll have you sign the form, then your mom will need to sign it and the new signature card.
YC: Ok.
Me: Just so you know, your name won't actually come off of the account until your mom comes in and signs.
YC: Ok.
So I fill out the form and have her sign. She and her grandma/stepmom/whatever seem happy and leave.
I proceed to type up the new signature card in just the mom's name (I'll start calling her SC from right here). I try to call SC to let her know she needs to come in and sign. The phone number we have under SC's name is disconnected. The number we have under her other daughter's name rings at SC's mom's house, who tells me to never call her regarding anything to do with SC.

So I attempt to flex my Google-fu. Searches for SC yeild the disconnected number. Searches under SC's place of business (the local headshop

[ASIDE]While I was trying my Google-fu, the bank president and two of the senior officers walked into the bank. I actually had getweed.com or some such up on my screen when the bank president walked over to say hi. He didn't ask, so I don't think he noticed. <whew> [/ASIDE]
The message to the friend must have worked, because this morning, SC called. I explained she needed to come in and sign. She seemed ok with that. And the correct phone number? The one listed under the headshop where the mailbox was full.
Then she got to my desk.
SC: YC wanted her name off the account, huh? Well, it's her loss.
Me: I have everything typed up. I just need you to sign.
SC: I just want to close the account.
Me:

SC: I'll put it in my other daughter's account.
Me: <writes up withdrawal and deposit slips>
SC: I can't believe her grandmother convinced her to do this.
Me: ... <none of my business>
SC: And her dad convinced her she doesn't need to go to college. She's just going to loaf on her grandma's couch for who knows how long.
Me: Here's your receipt.
Here's what I wanted to say: Look, lady. You and your current husband sell drug paraphenalia and synthetic drugs (and possibly actual drugs, but I don't know that) out of a headshop with a deliberately vulgar name. You already closed your business savings account with us because you were paranoid that we were going to report the ungodly amounts of cash you were funneling through it. Your daughter probably knows all this and is afraid she's going to be indicted when all this goes south. Because I'm sure you've been depositing money from this shady business into your daughters' savings accounts. If I were her, I wouldn't want anything to do with you, either!
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