Broccoli: The Vegetable of Doom

[Food Lady]

Meanwhile, I'm kind of addicted to broccoli.

[Jay 2K Winger]

I hate it cooked, but raw, with Ranch dressing ... yum!

That's a horrible thing to do to Ranch dressing. Contaminating it by touching it with that vile weed.

[siskaren]

I hate it cooked, but raw, with Ranch dressing ... yum!

Funny, I'm the opposite.

[Food Lady]

Cooked with ranch dressing??

[Pixilated]

*snip*

And the "charity" guy?

Scammer: Yeah, I wanna tell your paper about this pub that won't support charities! I'm famous for running a charity race and they didn't give me free food & drinks! You need to do an exposé!"
Reporter: Uh-huh...uh-huh...we'll get right on that [hangs up and goes back to working on something that's actually important].

When I was still at that little weekly paper, an incident like that would've been good for rude jokes for a week.

That's a horrible thing to do to Ranch dressing. Contaminating it by touching it with that vile weed.

I'm now condemned to the back 40, aren't I ...

[tilly101]

Haha, oh god. Each and every one of your stories had me just amazed. I know I should be well used to it by now, but I can't help it - I still get thrown for six each time I read about fuck-knuckles like each of those SCs.

[BroSCFischer]

SC: What is this? What is it? Why is it in my meal? It’s disgusting!! It’s ruined the meal!! What is it?!
Me: It’s broccoli.
SC: What is it??
Me: It’s a vegetable.

Now, I'm not exactly sure why, but I'm picturing an adult, overweight, Stewie Griffin.

And for the record, I agree with Pixilated on the broccoli issue.

SC

[The_Cook]

So . . . is there a chance you could have your cooks prepared the next time someone whines about their food in the same manner? Something to the effect of them either rushing from the kitchen with a blunt cooking utensil, beating the food in question whilst screaming about defeating the vile food from hell; or perhaps them running out the kitchen with a meat cleaver and/or large knife, screaming they'll carve up said bastard. I'm not sure the second option would go over too well, just in case the local authorities show up, but some people need the wits scared into them.

[Shalom]

Is it bad that this made me think of the Dead Parrot sketch?

I was thinking about the Argument Clinic myself.

A: Look, if I argue with you, I must take up a contrary position.
M: Yes, but that's not just saying 'No it isn't.'
A: Yes it is!
M: No it isn't!
A: Yes it is!
M: Argument is an intellectual process. Contradiction is just the automatic gainsaying of any statement the other person makes.
A: No it isn't.
M: It is.
A: Not at all.

(snip)

M: Oh I've had enough of this.
A: No you haven't.
M: Oh shut up.

Oh, and for the record, I do like broccoli, but even if I didn't, I'm quite sure I'd at least know what the fraq it is.

[Crossbow]

vile weed.

Incorrect, sir. The appropriate terminology is evil trees.


(For the record, I love broccoli, but can't stand cauliflower.

[Jay 2K Winger]

Incorrect, sir. The appropriate terminology is evil trees.


(For the record, I love broccoli, but can't stand cauliflower.

I was quoting this:

Newman hates Broccoli.

[Crossbow]

I was quoting this:

Newman hates Broccoli.

Ah. Wouldn't have recognized it. Never watched Seinfeld.

[EricKei]

broccoli is nasty horrid bitter disgusting stuff.

Same here...Aaaand the same for many other veggies. Doesn't stop me from encouraging my young nieces (et al) to try it ^_^

[Skelly]

SC: And that is why you’re going to lose my custom!

Good riddance.

[Skelly]

There's no such thing as normal.

And yes, pubs attract the weirdos. And the not-so-weirdos. And the really weirdos. They'd attract the ones waaaaay down at the far end of the weirdo bell curve, but they're usually in a nice padded room with a tight jacket hugging them close and aren't allowed to have papers with corners on them.

They are obviously not locking up enough of them.