Figure it out BEFORE you come in!!

[Dentarthurdent]

Actually I can see that one Dent. I know I went up to a bartender one time and asked for something but had no idea if something like it existed. I think good bartenders that know their mixes can on the fly make things. But why call him a dumb ass?

Because "tequila" and "fruity" are not words that naturally connect, to my mind anyway.

[Aethian]

Because "tequila" and "fruity" are not words that naturally connect, to my mind anyway.

But still why call him a dumb ass because he was looking for something unusual?

[Pixilated]

Or unless you're Granny Weatherwax, who can get away with it.

And I am definitely NOT Granny Weatherwax, alas...

[Jester]

Welcome to my world.

"Hey, make us something good."

"I had a great drink here last year...it was pink."

"I want something strong that doesn't taste too much like alcohol."

"Do you know how to make a Twisted Monkey Elvis Destruction?"

Etc., etc. People who know what they want, but have no idea what the hell it is. And who assume that a drink called a Fruit Bomb in a corporate chain restaurant is going to be the same thing in Ray's Tavern. Or that Ray's Tavern will even have something called a Fruit Bomb, or have ever heard of it. Or that the people in the corporate chain restaurant are familiar with the specialty drinks unique to the one pub back home.

This is an ongoing thing, and at least some people have the sense to either know what's in the drink they're ordering, or to try something new. For example, if someone says they want something "tropical and fruity," I immediately suggest Specialty Drink #3 off our menu. I nail it far more often than I don't and I make them happy, which is the point. But that doesn't stop the idiots who think that every bartender knows every drink ever made anywhere, or that we can read their minds and know what they had the last time they were in a couple years ago, or that drink they had that one time in the Bahamas.

In short: people can be really fucking stupid.

[Jay 2K Winger]

I love it! I'm going to wear a tag reading "Pixilated, Beverage Wizard" next time I'm behind the counter making drinks!

"Pixilated, Alcohomancer"

[Pixilated]

Do not annoy a wizard for you will not enjoy the flavor of flies.

The UU is important!

Yep, definitely don't want to forget the UU!! It may make people think twice before asking me to make a drink ...

Jester: my world isn't nearly as as yours (otherwise I suspect I would not be there anymore, LOL) ... our drinks are not alcohol-based and we have a VERY limited menu, unless somebody wants to gerry-rig something out of a sense of adventure. (A ... Twisted Monkey Elvis Destruction? You're pulling our chains ... right? )

Jay 2K Winger: I love the 'Alcohomancer' title! But alas, it is not accurate ...

[Dentarthurdent]

But still why call him a dumb ass because he was looking for something unusual?

I didn't make this clear. He got on the same sunset cruise weeks or months later and expected her to remember his special drink. Not "can you make me that thing with <ingredients> again" or anything sensible like that. Just "that fruity drink with tequila". Because he was a speshul sunshine in her sky and surely she remembered.

I would kill for a blue fishbowl outside the Upper Peninsula of Michigan. I am realistic and know I will never get one without hauling my ass to the Downtowner or another bar in Houghton/Hancock, and except for one dream I had where I knew the ingredients, I don't go around telling bartenders I want one because I know it will end poorly.

As a side note, be very specific when giving someone instructions on how to mix a Dark and Stormy unless you want to have flammable breath....at least around here.

[Jester]

A ... Twisted Monkey Elvis Destruction? You're pulling our chains ... right?

Only with the name. But the situation is not at all unusual. I use the completely screwy name to make a point. You've never heard of the drink above, just as I (and many countless other bartenders) have never heard of some of the drinks customers just expect us to just naturally know, even if it's a specialty drink of a roadside tavern to mile from the nearest sign of civilization, let alone any place we may have actually heard of.

He got on the same sunset cruise weeks or months later and expected her to remember his special drink.

Get this shit all the time, too. "Remember us? We were here last year! Can you make us that great drink you made us then? Oh, we don't remember the name of it, or anything about it, other than it was yummy. Surely YOU remember!"

As a side note, be very specific when giving someone instructions on how to mix a Dark and Stormy unless you want to have flammable breath....at least around here.

Around there, yes. Around here, Dark and Stormys are a much better bet.

[SuperNat]

I've had a drink in a few places called a dirty girl scout. It's chocolate and minty. Not everyone makes it, though, or knows what it is. I don't know how they're made, either. So for awhile, when I wanted one, I would tell the server to tell the bartender that I wanted something that tasted like chocolate and mint, and that I trust them. I got some fantastic drinks that way.

Sounds like the After-Dinner Mint Cocktail Yum!

[Pixilated]

And to think I've been wasting my time saying, "A glass of red wine, please" ...

I'm almost sorry to hear there is no such thing as a Twisted Monkey Elvis Destruction. It sounds like a drink just waiting to be invented.

[Jester]

I would never do that to my fellow bartenders. I can just picture it now...

CUSTOMR: "I had this great drink down on Key West. Can you make me a Twisted Monkey Elvis Destruction?"
BARTENDER:

I DID once invent a drink called Two Duffel Bags, a Lizard, and a Shotgun, from a great story my coworker told me, but luckily for bartenders everywhere, the drink was horrible, and died a quick death that very day.



"Can you make me a Screaming Viking?"
"Would you like the cucumber bruised?"
"Slightly."

[Dentarthurdent]

I DID once invent a drink called Two Duffel Bags, a Lizard, and a Shotgun, from a great story my coworker told me, but luckily for bartenders everywhere, the drink was horrible, and died a quick death that very day.

Aforementioned best friend and I once created a Last Chance Abomination. It involved Midori, Cool Whip, and fruit, and was thus named because it was the last of the bottle of Midori. *shrug* Not nearly as good of a name, though. And the hangover...ye gods.

[Jester]

I dunno...I think Last Chance Abomination is a pretty awesome name for a drink. Although, from the name, I never would have guessed THOSE ingredients!

[Jay 2K Winger]

In a shared-universe writing group, there was a particularly potent potable called a "Naked Singularity," also known as "The Drink What Burns Your Soul."

I still like that name.

[KatherineB]

We should have a challenge whereby people make up a name and the bartenders among us have to guess what the contents should (!) be...