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I know I've mentioned before we do a few 2 hour lots here in town. These are lots owned by businesses that put a strict 2 hour limit on parking since they have very limited real estate and someone who won't leave may be denying others use of up to 10% of their available parking all by themselves.
This particular "lot" is only a single row of 8 spaces along the back of the business. Affixed to the brick wall is a sign that says:
Now, as enforcement goes, you by now know the Borough requires 15 minute waits on all illegally parked cars. So, the way we run this lot is once you've violated the 2 hours, we can't take you until you also get your Borough-mandated 15 minutes. So, you have to be here 15 minutes at least past the 2 hour limit before you go. To appease everyone just a little bit more and make the legality of our own towing a bit more ironclad, management instituted an extra 15 minute wait a year or so back. Mostly because he got tired of people arguing that our clocks must've been a minute fast because they were only there for 1 hour and 59 minutes! Despite the fact that they still got that extra Borough-15 and, frequently didn't notice the car gone for up to an hour later... but, just to avoid migraines we don't really need, they bumped up the time.
If your clock is off by your average episode of Everybody Loves Raymond plus a commercial or two, that's a YOU problem, not an US problem.
As it stood this Friday, you get 2 hours and 15 minutes of time before we declare them in violation, and then the 15 minute grace kicks in, so, you really get a total of 2 hours and THIRTY minutes before anything bad happens to you here.
And, the way we track those times is the good ol' chalk stick. Chalk tire, chalk ground, if line is unbroken, car hasn't moved, note the time you chalked it and start the clock.
Why all the background? Stay tuned
10:28 HRS: Agent Argabarga enters lot and chalks tires of 8 cars in coffee shop sector
11:28 HRS: Agent Argabarga on routine security sweep notes that all but 2 of the cars he chalked earlier have departed, makes note that remaining recognizable vehicles, blue VW and gold Hyundai, have their chalk marks still in place, indicating they have not moved
12:00 HRS: Agent on routine sweep notes continued presence of offending vehicles
12:28 HRS: Agent notes gold Hyundai has left, leaving only VW, chalk marks still unbroken.
12:43 HRS: Agent notes VW has still not moved, declares vehicle in violation of sector rules on parking. Informs dispatch of intent to tow, permission granted, mission executive authority given to agent's local level starting at 12:58 HRS.
12:50 HRS: LZ established in alley behind building, agent standing by.
12:58 HRS: Green light, weapons free
12:59 HRS: Agent immobilizes target with wheel lift, confirmed tow.
13:00 HRS: Citizen approaches agent. Citizen query: "Can I help you?" Agent response: "If that's your car, you exceeded 2hour parking, it will be $65 to drop" Citizen response: "I was only here for 1 hour" Agent declares target hostile, engaging with brevity "No, you've been here since 10:28HRS, the chalk marks proving it are still visible"
13:01 HRS: Citizen concedes they've been here longer than an hour, citizen declaration "Okay, it's been 2 hours" Agent response "No, it's been 2 hours and 30 minutes" Citizen declaration: "It doesn't matter how long I've been here, I'm a customer!" Agent response: "You're only allowed here for 2 hours, and you've gone over"
13:02 HRS: Citizen declaration "There's no sign!" Agent directs citizens attention to sign on wall above car
13:03 HRS: Citizen declaration "That sign's wording is too confusing!" Agent inquires about payment of $65. Citizen produces paper and pen and begins writing down license plate number of Agent's truck. Agent informs Citizen that he'll get a complete carbon copy of the tow, including times, vehicles and agents involved once he pays.
13:04 HRS: Citizen declaration: "And WHO do you work for?!" Agent points to door of truck. Citizen declaration" "You know who I work for? WHERE I work?!" Agent response: "I don't care".
13:05 HRS: Citizen informs agent he is a law student. Agent inquires again about overdue payment. Citizen informs agent they will pay with credit card but fully intend to dispute transaction. Agent considers telling Citizen that said bill is now cash-only payment, but defers, processes credit card.
13:06 HRS: Citizen informs agent they are going to sue him. Agent asks citizen to step away from vehicle so he can put it down without injuring citizen's feet, which are under the tires, an actual civil injury as opposed to a made up one. Citizen declares that he will see Agent soon "in court". Agent observes condition of car and decides that expending ordinance on citizen in future will likely be unnecessary, as competent legal professional could have afforded better car than one large hole in rear bumper, and front fenders held on by duct tape and screws.
13:07 HRS: Mission successful, Agent returns to base.
13:10 HRS: After-action report submitted to management informing them of Citizens' intention to bring legal action
13:10.01 HRS: Management declares target hostile, lawyer strike ready and on standby.
13:13 HRS: Agent checks license plate database, today's action constitutes third instance of towing of said vehicle, neither of 2 prior tows have been repealed by subsequent legal action. Agent LOL's.
This particular "lot" is only a single row of 8 spaces along the back of the business. Affixed to the brick wall is a sign that says:
2 HOUR PARKING
Parking for customers of *COFFEE SHOP* only while patronizing
Parking and leaving the premises is PROHIBITED
Friendly Neighborhood Towing XXX-XXXX
Parking for customers of *COFFEE SHOP* only while patronizing
Parking and leaving the premises is PROHIBITED
Friendly Neighborhood Towing XXX-XXXX
Now, as enforcement goes, you by now know the Borough requires 15 minute waits on all illegally parked cars. So, the way we run this lot is once you've violated the 2 hours, we can't take you until you also get your Borough-mandated 15 minutes. So, you have to be here 15 minutes at least past the 2 hour limit before you go. To appease everyone just a little bit more and make the legality of our own towing a bit more ironclad, management instituted an extra 15 minute wait a year or so back. Mostly because he got tired of people arguing that our clocks must've been a minute fast because they were only there for 1 hour and 59 minutes! Despite the fact that they still got that extra Borough-15 and, frequently didn't notice the car gone for up to an hour later... but, just to avoid migraines we don't really need, they bumped up the time.
If your clock is off by your average episode of Everybody Loves Raymond plus a commercial or two, that's a YOU problem, not an US problem.
As it stood this Friday, you get 2 hours and 15 minutes of time before we declare them in violation, and then the 15 minute grace kicks in, so, you really get a total of 2 hours and THIRTY minutes before anything bad happens to you here.
And, the way we track those times is the good ol' chalk stick. Chalk tire, chalk ground, if line is unbroken, car hasn't moved, note the time you chalked it and start the clock.
Why all the background? Stay tuned
10:28 HRS: Agent Argabarga enters lot and chalks tires of 8 cars in coffee shop sector
11:28 HRS: Agent Argabarga on routine security sweep notes that all but 2 of the cars he chalked earlier have departed, makes note that remaining recognizable vehicles, blue VW and gold Hyundai, have their chalk marks still in place, indicating they have not moved
12:00 HRS: Agent on routine sweep notes continued presence of offending vehicles
12:28 HRS: Agent notes gold Hyundai has left, leaving only VW, chalk marks still unbroken.
12:43 HRS: Agent notes VW has still not moved, declares vehicle in violation of sector rules on parking. Informs dispatch of intent to tow, permission granted, mission executive authority given to agent's local level starting at 12:58 HRS.
12:50 HRS: LZ established in alley behind building, agent standing by.
12:58 HRS: Green light, weapons free
12:59 HRS: Agent immobilizes target with wheel lift, confirmed tow.
13:00 HRS: Citizen approaches agent. Citizen query: "Can I help you?" Agent response: "If that's your car, you exceeded 2hour parking, it will be $65 to drop" Citizen response: "I was only here for 1 hour" Agent declares target hostile, engaging with brevity "No, you've been here since 10:28HRS, the chalk marks proving it are still visible"
13:01 HRS: Citizen concedes they've been here longer than an hour, citizen declaration "Okay, it's been 2 hours" Agent response "No, it's been 2 hours and 30 minutes" Citizen declaration: "It doesn't matter how long I've been here, I'm a customer!" Agent response: "You're only allowed here for 2 hours, and you've gone over"
13:02 HRS: Citizen declaration "There's no sign!" Agent directs citizens attention to sign on wall above car
13:03 HRS: Citizen declaration "That sign's wording is too confusing!" Agent inquires about payment of $65. Citizen produces paper and pen and begins writing down license plate number of Agent's truck. Agent informs Citizen that he'll get a complete carbon copy of the tow, including times, vehicles and agents involved once he pays.
13:04 HRS: Citizen declaration: "And WHO do you work for?!" Agent points to door of truck. Citizen declaration" "You know who I work for? WHERE I work?!" Agent response: "I don't care".
13:05 HRS: Citizen informs agent he is a law student. Agent inquires again about overdue payment. Citizen informs agent they will pay with credit card but fully intend to dispute transaction. Agent considers telling Citizen that said bill is now cash-only payment, but defers, processes credit card.
13:06 HRS: Citizen informs agent they are going to sue him. Agent asks citizen to step away from vehicle so he can put it down without injuring citizen's feet, which are under the tires, an actual civil injury as opposed to a made up one. Citizen declares that he will see Agent soon "in court". Agent observes condition of car and decides that expending ordinance on citizen in future will likely be unnecessary, as competent legal professional could have afforded better car than one large hole in rear bumper, and front fenders held on by duct tape and screws.
13:07 HRS: Mission successful, Agent returns to base.
13:10 HRS: After-action report submitted to management informing them of Citizens' intention to bring legal action
13:10.01 HRS: Management declares target hostile, lawyer strike ready and on standby.
13:13 HRS: Agent checks license plate database, today's action constitutes third instance of towing of said vehicle, neither of 2 prior tows have been repealed by subsequent legal action. Agent LOL's.
I admit, I saw this coming after I got to the bit where he asked "do you know where I work?" The "I don't care" response slays me!
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