June Bug=Cockroach

[Gaki]

Well then.

I pissed a guy off so badly that he took all the toilet paper off the roll, stuffed it all in the toilet, and took a dump on it. I knew who'd done it too so when I heard about it and he was still in the store I started laughing hysterically and told one of my CWs to "close it down." I then made eye-contact with him while I was laughing. He left in a hurry.

Note: It was easily fixable and there was no grossness involved. We have ways...


CW is on the other side of the counter paying for her food and is clearly standing at the counter (not off to the side). An old woman reaches her hand in front of CW and puts down a lottery ticket (it's not even the lottery register).

SC: It says I won four dollars.
Me: Okay ma'am, I'll be able to get that for you after CW is finished paying for her food.
SC: Oh....okay then.

So...now we can't actually be in line? We can't pay for our stuff like normal people? Awesome.


Something doesn't scan.

SC: Oh good, it's free.
Me: Ding ding ding, you're the one hundredth person who's made that joke today. It's still not free but there is a prize.
SC:
Me: Your receipt!
SC: .....


SC: Oh hey, there's a giant roach right inside your front door. People see that and think they don't want to eat here.
Me: Sir, that's a smashed June Bug.
SC: Looks like a roach.
Me: *siiigh* See its legs? They don't have spikes on them. Cockroach legs have spikes. The reason it looks longer is because it was smushed.
SC: ...well....
Me: Have a good day sir.

I had to rescue another June Bug and put it in the grass about an hour later. They don't even get into the store. They get trampled before they do. Poor guys.

[pzychobitch]

Ahh reminds me fondly of when I worked at a C store

[Jay 2K Winger]

Nothing like laughing at jerks to show that their attempts at inconveniencing you don't work. It must be so emasculating to them.

[sms001]

Me: ...It's still not free but there is a prize.
....
Me: Your receipt!

Now THERE'S one I wish I'd thought of. Be tough to get the timing down, as we had to complete the transaction to print a receipt, but it would be well worth it.

[BrenDAnn]

I agree, sms. I'm going to have to remember that for the next time someone uses that or any of the many other overused lines we all hear every damn day. As for the first gut's literal shit fit, it's always fun to make people deflate like balloons by defeating their "evil" plans, isn't it? One last note--I hate June Bugs. Then again, I'm not a fan of bugs in general. Still, I would never think they were roaches. Had that person never been outside at night this time of year? Wow!

[MoonCat]

To some people, any bug that's indoors is a roach.

[wolfie]

I pissed a guy off so badly that he took all the toilet paper off the roll, stuffed it all in the toilet, and took a dump on it.

Was your use of that particular term for "annoyed" intentional? Would have served the guy right if he'd been into the high numbers on the Bristol Stool Scale and needed to wipe after taking that dump. Sucks that there's no paper left after he stuffs it all into the toilet.

[Food Lady]

I had to rescue another June Bug and put it in the grass about an hour later. They don't even get into the store. They get trampled before they do. Poor guys.

Bless your heart--you're just like me. I try not to kill even bugs. I will kill some bugs, but usually feel bad about it.
Also, this thread reminds me of Plaidman.

[Skarredmind]

LOL @ Junebug

You know... here any time someone finds an insect of *ANY* type in their bed it's automatically a "bedbug." My favorite are the Stinkbugs (they are a recent addition to our ecology from Asia, so not much keeps them in check) in the spring and fall they are EVERYWHERE and we get complaints at least twice a week about them.

I can't tell you how many times I've had to explain that a bedbug is a TYPE of insect, not every bug that gets into your bed is a bed bug. That mollifies most people, but there is always the special snowflake who has the brilliant logic, "Oh yeah! Well how did it get in my *BED* if its not a *BEDBUG!*?!" "Uh... they fly and are pretty common, I am sure he rode in on your luggage..."

[Kit-Ginevra]

What is it with wildlife? I don't mind scuttling things at all.On holiday in Sri Lanka,the number of people who were complaining about there being insects in the room. Yep,we're in huts on the ocean front.Things will wander in and out-they do that all the time and in the cleanest of houses too.If you want a nice sanitized boring hotel room,fine.Me,I'd rather share the experience of being in the country.Nothing beats the experience of not being to use the verandah chair because a large chameleon is reclining in it,giving you that 'This is my chair.I was here first and I'm snoozing.Go away' look...

[Jay 2K Winger]

Bless your heart--you're just like me. I try not to kill even bugs. I will kill some bugs, but usually feel bad about it.
Also, this thread reminds me of Plaidman.

Eh, see I take the point of view that spiders are okay as long as they stay to their corners and don't crawl across my bed or sink or toilet. They kill the other bugs.

Other bugs, however, you're fair game in my house.

My Mom takes the point of view that anything with more than two legs that isn't our dog that comes into our house should be killed on sight. Her point of view is "they have the whole outside to live in, they can be out there, but not in my house." I tried to dissuade her from killing the black widow spider that had set up shop by garage doors-- and had apparently been making a killing, because she was nice and fat-- by telling her "It's keeping all the other bugs out!" But she grabbed the raid and gassed that widow to the next world.

Sigh.

[Gaki]

I live right next to a river (like 30 ft from the bank) and this is my take on spiders.

There are indoor spiders and there are outdoor spiders. When you live next to a river it's easy to tell the difference. Because the indoor spiders are about the size of your fingernail and the outdoor spiders are about the size of a nickel to a quarter. THEY'RE FRICKIN HUGE.

So I have "spider killer" powder/spray that I put on the window sills. If you're a spider no bigger than my fingernail then you can hide in your corner and be cozy with me. If you're a HOUSE SPIDER. If you're one of those ugly-ass fat creepers that hang out outside the window, forget it, you're not invited to this party.

I had a war with those outsiders for a long time last year. I would come home every night after the windows had been shut and locked and there would be at least six of them. This year hasn't been so bad. I currently have two house spiders in their own respective corners and one of them is quite old. Just chillin'. Once I see a sack though, that thing is going out the window. xD

[manybellsdown]

I'm okay with spiders in my house as long as they're A) not venomous, and B) not in the shower. If I'm naked, sorry, all bets are off and you're going down the drain.

[Skarredmind]

LOL@ Kit We took the kids to Disney World this past January, while we were there, eating lunch in the Animal Kingdom as it turned out, a bird came by and ate one of those little lizards that are everywhere. This of course lead us into humming the circle of life song, while my kids (5 and 2.5 at the time) thought it was the coolest thing they've seen. Of course, we've made a big deal about that stuff with the kids too, the only bugs we go out of our way to squash are mosquitos, flies, and ticks.

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

I fucking hate june bugs. They're the very special students of the insect family.

They bumblefart around like they're drunk, they hang around lights even though that kills them, and the low buzzing of their wings as they pass by just creeps me out.

I just got back from the grocery store. I got dive-bombed by no fewer than five of the fuckers.