Or, random answer time!
(I know, its been a while. I've been pretty happy with the current job until recently.)
CS -- can be read as Customer Suck, Confused Sally/Sam or Confused and Sucky. guess which goes with which!
May I have your first and last name, please?
CS: H-E-U-N-G-S-M-I-T-H
AD: -pause- And have you been h--
CS: Ishouldbeinthesystem
AD: --ere before? -pause- You said that was first name, H-E-U-N-G, last name S-M-I-T-H
CS: yes.yes.whatyoucantfindme?
AD: :
oes this guy not breathe?:: I'm sorry, I can--
CS: H-E-U-N-G-S-M-I-T-H
AD: have your number please?
CS: icantbelieveyoucannotfindme! yousureyourenotspellingitright? H-E-U-N-G-S-M-I-T-H
AD: Yes, Heung Smith, h-e-u-
CS: OMG -le disgrunted, frustrated, arrogant sigh-forgetittrymynumber 123456789
AD: ::OMG, lay off the flippin' coffee!!:: -doesn't respond.-
CS: HELLO!? Are you there?
AD: Yes, I'm still here. May I have your num-
CS: 123456789
AD: -pause-
CS: HELLO?! ARE YOU THERE?!
AD: I'm sorry, you're going to fast, would you please slow down?
CS: omg!!THISISFRICKINREDICULOUS! Ijustwannamakemy hair appointment!?!
AD: I'd love to help you with that Would you mind rep--
CS: 123456798IDONTHAVETIMEFORTHIS!!GOD! - pause, silence, dialtone-
So, I manged to catch the number before she hung up. The name? Heung, Smith. As in Heung (comma) Smith. Smith was her first name. >.<
This is a new one.
AD: And the last four digits of your phone number is 4569?
CS: 4569? No! Its 1972.
AD: -suspects the guest wasn't paying attention- Okay, have you lived at 55 Street Rd, Someplace, Nv ?
CS: Yes.
AD: Have you ever had the number XXX-XXX-4569?
CS: -pause-
AD: ...
CS: Oh, I thought you were asking for my birth year.
What's in a name, 2
AD: And may I have your first and last name, please?
CS: 09/09/85
AD: Pardon?
CS: What did you just ask me?
AD: Your name.
CS: Oh. Oh. OH!! Sorry, I thought you asked for my birthday.
Getting closer
AD: May I have your first and last name please?
CS: Sanchez!
AD: And your first name?
CS: That is my last name.
AD: -pause- I know. I need your first name please.
CS: Why didn't you say so?
Return to Sender. No such number, address a no.
AD: Thank you for calling Ritzy Salon Place at Downtown Sompleace, State, this is Demise, how may I help you?
CS: I want to see Josephine
AD: Unfortunately, I do not have a Josephine in this location. Did you perhaps mean Sister Place?
CS: What? NO, I go there all the time, ALWAYS. Look it up!
AD: Sure thing, may I have your first and last name, please?
CS: Kalikiya Waliapula.
AD: -pause- Would you mind spelling that for me?
CS: K-a-l-k-i-y-a W-a-l-i-a-p-u-l-a. I was just there last month with Josephine!
AD: Alright, I found you. -pause- While it is true that you were here last month, Kalkiya, I do not see that you saw a Josephine. The only service I have in your records is a facial with Doreen. I see that you saw a Joanne two years ago, though. I know I have a Josephine at Sister Place. Would you like me to check there?
CS: No, I went to this place last month.
AD: Yes, you did, but you did not have a haircut with a Josephine, let alone a haircut.
CS: This is Salon Place at Location, yes?
AD: Yes, m'am.
CS: Josephine is petite, African-American, has two children and has a gay partner!
AD: I have an African-American hair cutter with two children and a gay partner but *his* name is Joe. Maybe you're thinking of him?
CS: It was a woman!
AD: -thoroughly confused now- May I put you on a brief hold? I'm going to check on something.
Cool Manager: This is CM with Sister Place, how can I help you?
AD: Hey, CM this is Demise at Other Place. May I ask you a rather odd, somewhat insensitive question? You know our peeps.
CM: Oh geeze, ask away.
AD: You know Josephine, right?
CM Yeah?
AD: Does she happen to be lesbian African American with two kids? I have a Kalikiya on the line who frequents both salons and swears she sees Josephine but at MY place and quite frankly, I think she's confusing people. She also says the kids are twins.
CM: That's alright girl, I know our peeps. Its okay. Josephine.. josephine. I know she *IS* African American and has two kids but I don't think she's gay. Then again, I could be wrong-- HEY, Josephine, good thing you just came in. You're married right? -pause- To a man or a woman? -silence- And your kids, they twins? -more silence- I just have a lady on the phone with Demise *insisting* she sees but over there.
AD: -twirling my thumbs here-
CM : Have you EVER gone to help out at Other Place? -- Demise, give me a sec.
AD: 'kay.
-two minutes later.
CM: Okay, girl, Sorry about that. See, Josephine has a gay sister she often talks about who HAS twins so maybe that's who this person is thinking of. But I've checked her record and..
AD: Yeah, she's NEVER seen Josephine at Your Place.
CM : Mmmhmm..
AD: -sigh- I wonder if she's confusing someone with Joe. 'Cause he does have a partner and he's African American but he's got a teenage boy and a toddler girl.
CM: I hear ya girl, I was gonna ask that.
AD: -pause- She's so sure of herself, y'know.
CM: Sweetie, we got people who come in swearing the sky is red and you just have to smile and nod.
AD: I hear ya. Okay, I'll talk to her.
AD: M'am, I had to call and check Sister Salon and while we do have a Josephine over there and IS African American, she's married to a man and has two children but they're not twins. I don't think this is our Josephine.
CS: ....
AD: Kalikiya?
CS: ...
AD: M'am?
CS: -very quietly- What salon did I call?
AD: Ritzy Salon Place in Downtown Someplace, State.
CS: ....
AD: ...
CS: I'm sorry. I called the wrong salon. I meant to call Uptown and .. not you...oh god. I'm SO SORRY!
AD:
Its alright, don't worry about it. Is there anything that I can help you with at THIS location ?
CS: Dig me a hole to die in shame in?
AD: Don't worry about it. I'm a married woman and I've seen my share of stubbornness. Given my fair share too.
CS: You're a doll, but seriously. I really gotta go and hide this same.
You're not Captain Obvious.
CS: Are you open today?
AD: Yes sir.
CS: Are you serious?
AD: ... yes.
CS: Well, you're very unpatriotic! -hangs up
And so are you for wanting to do business during the fourth of july. Wait, was this a test? Oh dear.
Words mean things.
CS: I need to come in as soon as possible, today preferably and in the evening with Kesha. And for a Lengthy Service of Doom.
AD: -after struggling to find what she wants- I have a 630 today that someone just cancelled.
CS: No, that won't work. Do you have something sooner than that?
AD: I can do a 6...
CS: No, sooner than that!
AD: Unfortunately, the only other thing I have that would work would be at 1130 AM.
CS: That is PERFECT!
You.. said.. evening.
(I know, its been a while. I've been pretty happy with the current job until recently.)
CS -- can be read as Customer Suck, Confused Sally/Sam or Confused and Sucky. guess which goes with which!
May I have your first and last name, please?
CS: H-E-U-N-G-S-M-I-T-H
AD: -pause- And have you been h--
CS: Ishouldbeinthesystem
AD: --ere before? -pause- You said that was first name, H-E-U-N-G, last name S-M-I-T-H
CS: yes.yes.whatyoucantfindme?
AD: :

CS: H-E-U-N-G-S-M-I-T-H
AD: have your number please?

CS: icantbelieveyoucannotfindme! yousureyourenotspellingitright? H-E-U-N-G-S-M-I-T-H
AD: Yes, Heung Smith, h-e-u-
CS: OMG -le disgrunted, frustrated, arrogant sigh-forgetittrymynumber 123456789
AD: ::OMG, lay off the flippin' coffee!!:: -doesn't respond.-
CS: HELLO!? Are you there?
AD: Yes, I'm still here. May I have your num-
CS: 123456789
AD: -pause-
CS: HELLO?! ARE YOU THERE?!
AD: I'm sorry, you're going to fast, would you please slow down?
CS: omg!!THISISFRICKINREDICULOUS! Ijustwannamakemy hair appointment!?!
AD: I'd love to help you with that Would you mind rep--
CS: 123456798IDONTHAVETIMEFORTHIS!!GOD! - pause, silence, dialtone-
So, I manged to catch the number before she hung up. The name? Heung, Smith. As in Heung (comma) Smith. Smith was her first name. >.<
This is a new one.
AD: And the last four digits of your phone number is 4569?
CS: 4569? No! Its 1972.
AD: -suspects the guest wasn't paying attention- Okay, have you lived at 55 Street Rd, Someplace, Nv ?
CS: Yes.
AD: Have you ever had the number XXX-XXX-4569?
CS: -pause-
AD: ...
CS: Oh, I thought you were asking for my birth year.

What's in a name, 2
AD: And may I have your first and last name, please?
CS: 09/09/85
AD: Pardon?
CS: What did you just ask me?
AD: Your name.
CS: Oh. Oh. OH!! Sorry, I thought you asked for my birthday.
Getting closer
AD: May I have your first and last name please?
CS: Sanchez!
AD: And your first name?
CS: That is my last name.
AD: -pause- I know. I need your first name please.
CS: Why didn't you say so?
Return to Sender. No such number, address a no.
AD: Thank you for calling Ritzy Salon Place at Downtown Sompleace, State, this is Demise, how may I help you?
CS: I want to see Josephine
AD: Unfortunately, I do not have a Josephine in this location. Did you perhaps mean Sister Place?
CS: What? NO, I go there all the time, ALWAYS. Look it up!
AD: Sure thing, may I have your first and last name, please?
CS: Kalikiya Waliapula.
AD: -pause- Would you mind spelling that for me?
CS: K-a-l-k-i-y-a W-a-l-i-a-p-u-l-a. I was just there last month with Josephine!
AD: Alright, I found you. -pause- While it is true that you were here last month, Kalkiya, I do not see that you saw a Josephine. The only service I have in your records is a facial with Doreen. I see that you saw a Joanne two years ago, though. I know I have a Josephine at Sister Place. Would you like me to check there?
CS: No, I went to this place last month.
AD: Yes, you did, but you did not have a haircut with a Josephine, let alone a haircut.
CS: This is Salon Place at Location, yes?
AD: Yes, m'am.
CS: Josephine is petite, African-American, has two children and has a gay partner!
AD: I have an African-American hair cutter with two children and a gay partner but *his* name is Joe. Maybe you're thinking of him?
CS: It was a woman!
AD: -thoroughly confused now- May I put you on a brief hold? I'm going to check on something.
Cool Manager: This is CM with Sister Place, how can I help you?
AD: Hey, CM this is Demise at Other Place. May I ask you a rather odd, somewhat insensitive question? You know our peeps.
CM: Oh geeze, ask away.
AD: You know Josephine, right?
CM Yeah?
AD: Does she happen to be lesbian African American with two kids? I have a Kalikiya on the line who frequents both salons and swears she sees Josephine but at MY place and quite frankly, I think she's confusing people. She also says the kids are twins.
CM: That's alright girl, I know our peeps. Its okay. Josephine.. josephine. I know she *IS* African American and has two kids but I don't think she's gay. Then again, I could be wrong-- HEY, Josephine, good thing you just came in. You're married right? -pause- To a man or a woman? -silence- And your kids, they twins? -more silence- I just have a lady on the phone with Demise *insisting* she sees but over there.
AD: -twirling my thumbs here-
CM : Have you EVER gone to help out at Other Place? -- Demise, give me a sec.
AD: 'kay.
-two minutes later.
CM: Okay, girl, Sorry about that. See, Josephine has a gay sister she often talks about who HAS twins so maybe that's who this person is thinking of. But I've checked her record and..
AD: Yeah, she's NEVER seen Josephine at Your Place.
CM : Mmmhmm..
AD: -sigh- I wonder if she's confusing someone with Joe. 'Cause he does have a partner and he's African American but he's got a teenage boy and a toddler girl.
CM: I hear ya girl, I was gonna ask that.
AD: -pause- She's so sure of herself, y'know.
CM: Sweetie, we got people who come in swearing the sky is red and you just have to smile and nod.
AD: I hear ya. Okay, I'll talk to her.
AD: M'am, I had to call and check Sister Salon and while we do have a Josephine over there and IS African American, she's married to a man and has two children but they're not twins. I don't think this is our Josephine.
CS: ....
AD: Kalikiya?
CS: ...
AD: M'am?
CS: -very quietly- What salon did I call?
AD: Ritzy Salon Place in Downtown Someplace, State.
CS: ....
AD: ...
CS: I'm sorry. I called the wrong salon. I meant to call Uptown and .. not you...oh god. I'm SO SORRY!
AD:

CS: Dig me a hole to die in shame in?
AD: Don't worry about it. I'm a married woman and I've seen my share of stubbornness. Given my fair share too.
CS: You're a doll, but seriously. I really gotta go and hide this same.
You're not Captain Obvious.
CS: Are you open today?
AD: Yes sir.
CS: Are you serious?
AD: ... yes.
CS: Well, you're very unpatriotic! -hangs up
And so are you for wanting to do business during the fourth of july. Wait, was this a test? Oh dear.
Words mean things.
CS: I need to come in as soon as possible, today preferably and in the evening with Kesha. And for a Lengthy Service of Doom.
AD: -after struggling to find what she wants- I have a 630 today that someone just cancelled.
CS: No, that won't work. Do you have something sooner than that?
AD: I can do a 6...
CS: No, sooner than that!
AD: Unfortunately, the only other thing I have that would work would be at 1130 AM.
CS: That is PERFECT!
You.. said.. evening.
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