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Special Delivery.......
This apartment has a huge wall-o-mailboxes sitting a few feet back from the street where residents can pick up their mail. So that the mailman doesn't have to get out of his truck to deliver the mail to said Great Wall of Postal, the area between the boxes and street has been paved so he can pull up to arms-length and then back out.
As you have no doubt guessed by now, like moths to a flame, ants to sugar and wedgies to annoying 10-year-olds named "Wendel", this little patch of pavement quickly attracted every Tom, Dick and Harry looking for free parking, convinced that since there wasn't a sign there saying you couldn't use it as such it was perfectly fine to park 1, 2 even 3 cars up against the mailboxes.
And technically they were right, until Monday, when we put a big sign up directly in the middle and above the mailboxes that says
Friendly Neighborhood Towing XXX-XXXX
Well, Friday, we got our first sign violation, our first tow, and our first complaint.
Surprisingly, it wasn't a claim there was no sign; but rather that since we put the sign in the middle of the pavement patch and she'd parked to the extreme left of the sign, why, she wasn't in the specified no parking zone at all!
We informed her it doesn't work that way
She informed us that it was "bulls#it" and we needed more signs because we can't be towing people from places they have no idea they're going to get towed from...... since there's no sign DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF THEM PERPENDICULARLY BISECTING AN IMAGINARY LINE EXTENDED FROM THE EXACT MIDSHIPS LINE OF THEIR CAR IN EITHER DIRECTION!!!
It's for reasons like these I think we should just put a "NO PARKING" sign on the rear bumper of the tow truck, then we could tow any darn fool we please. If they object, we can just point and say "Look! You parked RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE SIGN!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAA!!!!"
Speaking of maniacal laughter. Anyone else get the irresistible urge, when saying the phrase "Special Delivery", pause for a second before adding "BATMAN! Ye-he-he-he-ha-ha-haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!" Cuz' I do.
Good Idea, Bad Idea, Crazy Idea
If you want to sell your old car, putting a "For Sale" sign in it listing all the options and work that you've put into it is a start.
Putting it alongside a road so that plenty of people see it is better.
Putting it in the parking lot of a chicken n' rib restaurant that's alongside the biggest east-west throughfare in the city is even better!
Not asking said restaurant owner if it was okay to use his parking lot for that purpose, however, was a major mistake. He gave you a week to show up and reclaim the car, but when you didn't, he called us.
By the way, your asking price for that car (which is $5,000 too high*) will have to be increased by $115 for you to hit your targeted sales goal. And, you better hope you find a sucker, er, buyer quick, as it's going to tick up by an additional $35 per day starting now.
* He's asking $10,000 for a car that has visible rust holes in the doors, hood and rocker panels, among dozens of other faults, dream on buddy. Just because it's a classic (69' Chevelle) doesn't mean people are going to beat down your door and offer you show-quality money for one that beat up. Even the little bowtie in the grille is falling off.......
I Dare Ya' to Say That Again
This person left not one, but TWO notes. One on the front dashboard, and one on the rear seat shelf. Both demanding we NOT tow them for their illegal parking and call them so they could move their car. Look, one note does nothing to stop us, so why you thought two would matter, I have no idea. If anything, it makes us move you to the top of the list because now we're curious how bad you'll be flipping your top and what new curse words you may invent when you slink into the garage to pick it back up, perhaps wondering if putting two more notes on the driver's and passengers window would have made a difference.
P.S. - It wouldn't.
Care to Try the Sample Platter?
This particular "lot" is pretty small, only about 8 spaces or so. It's not a very active one, but for some reason today, it turned into a buffet of parking fail. One car with no permit, one with a permit that expired in May. One with a permit that expired in June, which they'd clumsily and hopelessly attempted to change to July with the tried-and-failed bottle of white out approach. And one guy had double-parked in his buddy's permitless car in over in the corner in the hopes we couldn't get him. We did, I'm just sorry I won't be there when he comes back and:
A. Finds his car gone
B. Wonders how we did it, since his buddy's car is still right where he left it, untouched *And we didn't touch it to get the other car out*
How do we do it?
Oh, I'll never tell.........
Okay, fine I will.... http://www.detroitwrecker.com/servle...acks-go/Detail
This apartment has a huge wall-o-mailboxes sitting a few feet back from the street where residents can pick up their mail. So that the mailman doesn't have to get out of his truck to deliver the mail to said Great Wall of Postal, the area between the boxes and street has been paved so he can pull up to arms-length and then back out.
As you have no doubt guessed by now, like moths to a flame, ants to sugar and wedgies to annoying 10-year-olds named "Wendel", this little patch of pavement quickly attracted every Tom, Dick and Harry looking for free parking, convinced that since there wasn't a sign there saying you couldn't use it as such it was perfectly fine to park 1, 2 even 3 cars up against the mailboxes.
And technically they were right, until Monday, when we put a big sign up directly in the middle and above the mailboxes that says
NO PARKING
AT
ANY TIME
FOR
ANY REASON
VIOLATORS TOWED
AT
ANY TIME
FOR
ANY REASON
VIOLATORS TOWED
Friendly Neighborhood Towing XXX-XXXX
Well, Friday, we got our first sign violation, our first tow, and our first complaint.
Surprisingly, it wasn't a claim there was no sign; but rather that since we put the sign in the middle of the pavement patch and she'd parked to the extreme left of the sign, why, she wasn't in the specified no parking zone at all!
We informed her it doesn't work that way
She informed us that it was "bulls#it" and we needed more signs because we can't be towing people from places they have no idea they're going to get towed from...... since there's no sign DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF THEM PERPENDICULARLY BISECTING AN IMAGINARY LINE EXTENDED FROM THE EXACT MIDSHIPS LINE OF THEIR CAR IN EITHER DIRECTION!!!
It's for reasons like these I think we should just put a "NO PARKING" sign on the rear bumper of the tow truck, then we could tow any darn fool we please. If they object, we can just point and say "Look! You parked RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE SIGN!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAA!!!!"
Speaking of maniacal laughter. Anyone else get the irresistible urge, when saying the phrase "Special Delivery", pause for a second before adding "BATMAN! Ye-he-he-he-ha-ha-haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!" Cuz' I do.
Good Idea, Bad Idea, Crazy Idea
If you want to sell your old car, putting a "For Sale" sign in it listing all the options and work that you've put into it is a start.
Putting it alongside a road so that plenty of people see it is better.
Putting it in the parking lot of a chicken n' rib restaurant that's alongside the biggest east-west throughfare in the city is even better!
Not asking said restaurant owner if it was okay to use his parking lot for that purpose, however, was a major mistake. He gave you a week to show up and reclaim the car, but when you didn't, he called us.
By the way, your asking price for that car (which is $5,000 too high*) will have to be increased by $115 for you to hit your targeted sales goal. And, you better hope you find a sucker, er, buyer quick, as it's going to tick up by an additional $35 per day starting now.
* He's asking $10,000 for a car that has visible rust holes in the doors, hood and rocker panels, among dozens of other faults, dream on buddy. Just because it's a classic (69' Chevelle) doesn't mean people are going to beat down your door and offer you show-quality money for one that beat up. Even the little bowtie in the grille is falling off.......
I Dare Ya' to Say That Again
This person left not one, but TWO notes. One on the front dashboard, and one on the rear seat shelf. Both demanding we NOT tow them for their illegal parking and call them so they could move their car. Look, one note does nothing to stop us, so why you thought two would matter, I have no idea. If anything, it makes us move you to the top of the list because now we're curious how bad you'll be flipping your top and what new curse words you may invent when you slink into the garage to pick it back up, perhaps wondering if putting two more notes on the driver's and passengers window would have made a difference.
P.S. - It wouldn't.
Care to Try the Sample Platter?
This particular "lot" is pretty small, only about 8 spaces or so. It's not a very active one, but for some reason today, it turned into a buffet of parking fail. One car with no permit, one with a permit that expired in May. One with a permit that expired in June, which they'd clumsily and hopelessly attempted to change to July with the tried-and-failed bottle of white out approach. And one guy had double-parked in his buddy's permitless car in over in the corner in the hopes we couldn't get him. We did, I'm just sorry I won't be there when he comes back and:
A. Finds his car gone
B. Wonders how we did it, since his buddy's car is still right where he left it, untouched *And we didn't touch it to get the other car out*
How do we do it?
Oh, I'll never tell.........Okay, fine I will.... http://www.detroitwrecker.com/servle...acks-go/Detail
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