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Warning, this is probably not going to be worksafe. I'm not going to get overly graphic, but the mere topic will offend some bosses.
Talking with a friend the other day reminded me of some of these incidents and since they do fit...
OK, while my normal field was dealing with computers, many years back (late 80s/early 90s) I was an officer in a local "kink" organization (long defunct).
If you think regular customers can be sucky, you have no idea what can happen with them in "adult" venues.
A bit of background is in order. Portland had hosted the national convention (Living in Leather) and was going to host it again the next year. We'd had a hell of a time finding a space to hold the "dungeon parties" for Friday and Saturday night. We'd finally managed to rent a 10,000 square foot warehouse. And given how hard it was to find it, we figured we'd better hold on to it so we'd have it for next year.
This meant we needed to raise a lot of money to pay the rent. Thus we had dungeon parties most Fridays and Saturdays. We also sometimes rented the space out to other groups in the LGBT community.
No, you can't have a refund
Now, the way things worked was that you paid admission (and showed ID to prove you were old enough) and signed a waiver saying that you knew what you were getting into and weren't going to take pictures or write news stories about what went on. Once inside it was up to you to find somebody to interact with.
This, of course meant that there were folks who'd not find anyone (usually because of the way they came across, but sometimes just bad luck. Naturally, they wanted refunds.
We got very tired of explaining that there were no refunds. One reason for that was that a local swingers club had been giving refunds if you didn't "get lucky" Which had resulted in them getting busted for prostitution.. (guarantee of "getting lucky" or your money back = paying for sex)
Confused cops
We also had a pair of cops who were certain that we were up to no good somehow. They didn't quite go as far as harassing customers, but...
One Saturday afternoon we were doing a "fix-up party". Basically, volunteers showed up to help with repairs to equipment and doing extra cleaning and stuff. And the cops noticed. So we gave them a tour.
We blew their minds several times. For instance when they mentioned that prostitutes were hanging around down the block hoping to snarf folks who hadn't gotten lucky, we asked them to please point them out to us so we could run the hookers off. They didn't expect that.
And then there was their reaction to the "Women Only" section. They just could not wrap their heads around the idea that the lesbians might not want guys around. I wish I could recall the totally clueless comment one of the cops made (something that implied that of course they'd want guys watching. Obviously his only exposure to "lesbians" was hookers who'd do "girl-on-girl" to turn on customers)
At least they were confused enough that they didn't hassle us nearly as much after that.
Please stay out of my space
Now, there was always a problem with folks who'd come in and just stare at the folks who were doing things. Now, watching was generally OK, and there were private areas for folks who didn't want to be watched. But some of these guys (it was always guys) would either get in the way (standing too close to someone using a crop, paddle or flogger can be hazardous to your health!) or just manage to intrude on things. Dealing with these guys was always fun.
I swear the "monitors" (who were supposed to mainly be there to make sure folks were playing safely) spent more time dealing with them some nights than doing safety checks.
Though the safety check got interesting at times.
"But we do it at home all the time".
"This isn't your home, it's against the rules" (or "It's not safe.")
repeat several times, often with threats of kicking them out.
Creepy McCreep
Then there was the night this one guy came in.
He didn't do anything. He didn't say things to folks or otherwise interrupt. He didn't stand too close. But he gave off this vibe. Every scene he came near stopped within a couple of minutes. Single-handedly he pretty much shut things down for 30-45 minutes. And he wasn't doing anything we could ask him to leave for. Finally he got bored and left. And things went back to normal.
He was one of the reasons we went to a tiered fee structure. That and the other guys hanging around.
Suuure you're a couple
It was something like:
Single men $25
couples $20
Single women $10
This lead to the incident where a couple of guys came in (obviously more lookie-loos) and after hearing the new rates, wanted the couples rate. Especially after seeing a gay couple (our president and his boyfriend) get it. We were pretty sure they were straight. So the guy on the desk said "Ok, kiss each other." For some reason they decided they weren't a couple after all.
Assumptions will get you every time
Oh yes, I mentioned renting the place out to other groups.
One of them was a group for gay men that thew J-O parties. Yep, pretty much what you are thinking.
So of the officers who weren't gay would volunteer to run the coat check (OK, clothes check) during the parties so they wouldn't have someone stuck sitting there watching stuff instead of participating.
One night I was the volunteer. And this one gay guy I sort of knew from the Kink group decided to have some fun.
Picture this. There are about half a dozen gay men standing around, Some talking, some changing. And he decides to stand about 3 feet from the high stool I'm sitting on and start changing into a tiny thong. With lots of extra wiggling and thrusting in my direction.
Obviously, he was playing "bait the straight".
I just watched until he had the thong on, then reached out a hand and gave his "package" a heft, remarking "Not bad".
He stared at me and babbled "But... but you're straight!"
I just grinned and almost purred "I'm not a fanatic about it."
He retreated in much disorder to the laughter of the guys who'd been watching the whole thing.
(Thank god we didn't have any "the customer is always right" BS to deal with)
I'm sure I'm forgetting things, but this should give you an idea of the sort of weirdness and bad customers you can get at an "adult" venue.
Talking with a friend the other day reminded me of some of these incidents and since they do fit...
OK, while my normal field was dealing with computers, many years back (late 80s/early 90s) I was an officer in a local "kink" organization (long defunct).
If you think regular customers can be sucky, you have no idea what can happen with them in "adult" venues.
A bit of background is in order. Portland had hosted the national convention (Living in Leather) and was going to host it again the next year. We'd had a hell of a time finding a space to hold the "dungeon parties" for Friday and Saturday night. We'd finally managed to rent a 10,000 square foot warehouse. And given how hard it was to find it, we figured we'd better hold on to it so we'd have it for next year.
This meant we needed to raise a lot of money to pay the rent. Thus we had dungeon parties most Fridays and Saturdays. We also sometimes rented the space out to other groups in the LGBT community.
No, you can't have a refund
Now, the way things worked was that you paid admission (and showed ID to prove you were old enough) and signed a waiver saying that you knew what you were getting into and weren't going to take pictures or write news stories about what went on. Once inside it was up to you to find somebody to interact with.
This, of course meant that there were folks who'd not find anyone (usually because of the way they came across, but sometimes just bad luck. Naturally, they wanted refunds.
We got very tired of explaining that there were no refunds. One reason for that was that a local swingers club had been giving refunds if you didn't "get lucky" Which had resulted in them getting busted for prostitution.. (guarantee of "getting lucky" or your money back = paying for sex)
Confused cops
We also had a pair of cops who were certain that we were up to no good somehow. They didn't quite go as far as harassing customers, but...
One Saturday afternoon we were doing a "fix-up party". Basically, volunteers showed up to help with repairs to equipment and doing extra cleaning and stuff. And the cops noticed. So we gave them a tour.
We blew their minds several times. For instance when they mentioned that prostitutes were hanging around down the block hoping to snarf folks who hadn't gotten lucky, we asked them to please point them out to us so we could run the hookers off. They didn't expect that.
And then there was their reaction to the "Women Only" section. They just could not wrap their heads around the idea that the lesbians might not want guys around. I wish I could recall the totally clueless comment one of the cops made (something that implied that of course they'd want guys watching. Obviously his only exposure to "lesbians" was hookers who'd do "girl-on-girl" to turn on customers)
At least they were confused enough that they didn't hassle us nearly as much after that.
Please stay out of my space
Now, there was always a problem with folks who'd come in and just stare at the folks who were doing things. Now, watching was generally OK, and there were private areas for folks who didn't want to be watched. But some of these guys (it was always guys) would either get in the way (standing too close to someone using a crop, paddle or flogger can be hazardous to your health!) or just manage to intrude on things. Dealing with these guys was always fun.
I swear the "monitors" (who were supposed to mainly be there to make sure folks were playing safely) spent more time dealing with them some nights than doing safety checks.
Though the safety check got interesting at times.
"But we do it at home all the time".
"This isn't your home, it's against the rules" (or "It's not safe.")
repeat several times, often with threats of kicking them out.
Creepy McCreep
Then there was the night this one guy came in.
He didn't do anything. He didn't say things to folks or otherwise interrupt. He didn't stand too close. But he gave off this vibe. Every scene he came near stopped within a couple of minutes. Single-handedly he pretty much shut things down for 30-45 minutes. And he wasn't doing anything we could ask him to leave for. Finally he got bored and left. And things went back to normal.
He was one of the reasons we went to a tiered fee structure. That and the other guys hanging around.
Suuure you're a couple
It was something like:
Single men $25
couples $20
Single women $10
This lead to the incident where a couple of guys came in (obviously more lookie-loos) and after hearing the new rates, wanted the couples rate. Especially after seeing a gay couple (our president and his boyfriend) get it. We were pretty sure they were straight. So the guy on the desk said "Ok, kiss each other." For some reason they decided they weren't a couple after all.
Assumptions will get you every time
Oh yes, I mentioned renting the place out to other groups.
One of them was a group for gay men that thew J-O parties. Yep, pretty much what you are thinking.
So of the officers who weren't gay would volunteer to run the coat check (OK, clothes check) during the parties so they wouldn't have someone stuck sitting there watching stuff instead of participating.
One night I was the volunteer. And this one gay guy I sort of knew from the Kink group decided to have some fun.
Picture this. There are about half a dozen gay men standing around, Some talking, some changing. And he decides to stand about 3 feet from the high stool I'm sitting on and start changing into a tiny thong. With lots of extra wiggling and thrusting in my direction.
Obviously, he was playing "bait the straight".
I just watched until he had the thong on, then reached out a hand and gave his "package" a heft, remarking "Not bad".
He stared at me and babbled "But... but you're straight!"
I just grinned and almost purred "I'm not a fanatic about it."
He retreated in much disorder to the laughter of the guys who'd been watching the whole thing.
(Thank god we didn't have any "the customer is always right" BS to deal with)
I'm sure I'm forgetting things, but this should give you an idea of the sort of weirdness and bad customers you can get at an "adult" venue.
Mind if I share the idea with my (less busty) friend?
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