Tales from the Hotel/Lounge: "2013 4x4 Show" edition

[BroSCFischer]

So we had a pretty busy weekend, and this is going to be the stuff that I had to deal with.

Hot Water Balloons

I noted a couple of latex balloons, filled with hot water, laying in the hallway. I hesitated to pick them up because they appeared pretty fragile. I told my GM about them, and asked what he wanted me to do with them. He went to take care of them (as did I, not knowing that he had done so) and the first one broke on him, soaking the hall carpet.

Towel Tales

Because we have an indoor pool, we have one more type of towel available at our hotel than most other hotels: the Pool Towel. This is a little smaller than a bath towel, and is the ONLY type of towel that is stocked at the front desk. Many people use their bath towels for the pool, and then ask for extra towels for their shower, and we have to hand them pool towels.

We also have limited supplies of towels, and, as such, limit distribution at the desk to 2 per room.

I had one guest complain about the number of towels I provided, which I apologized for, but informed him of the limited stock issue.

I had another guest get upset that they got pool towels instead of regular ones.

I should note that both of these requests were well after 11PM at night.

Printer Issue

I had a man complain that he couldn't print from the guest computer. Apparently, someone had told him he could print (or so he says), and he was very upset that there was nothing we couldn't fix this issue.

I informed the guest that it was an issue with the printer, and that our GM is the one who knows how to fix the connection, but that it's been down for a while.

He wanted me to call my GM (at 6AM on a Sat.). When I told him that the GM was not available, and wouldn't be til Mon. morning, he persisted:

SC: Well, what if there is a problem? What if there is an emergency? Isn't there a way for you to reach them?

ME: If there is a problem...

SC: There is a problem! I am very upset about this. I should at least get a discount!

I, again, informed him that the printer has been unavailable for sometime, and that the GM is aware of the fact, and that there is nothing we can do at this moment to resolve this issue. Then...

ME: Sir, your rate was already much lower than our regular rate, and therefore...

SC: I don't care about that, I should get a discount for the inconvenience.

I made it clear that I wasn't going to give a discount. He got my name (he read it off my name tag and still misspelled it). And said he was going to be calling our corporate offices.

SC

[mikoyan29]

He should count his blessings that there is a printer there at all. And what sort of emergency would you have where you would need to use the printer anyway?

"Okay Jack Bauer, I'm e-mailing you this map to the bomb....."
"DAMN! The printer doesnt' work...."
"Oh well there goes LA"

[DGoddessChardonnay]

He should count his blessings that there is a printer there at all. And what sort of emergency would you have where you would need to use the printer anyway?

"Okay Jack Bauer, I'm e-mailing you this map to the bomb....."
"DAMN! The printer doesnt' work...."
"Oh well there goes LA"

He could have pulled an ultra-thin thermal printer out of his shoe . . .then he'd have no issue.

Throw in a mobile wi-fi hotspot device and he's all set to save the world.

Now that's what you have when you're a 21st Century secret agent.

Other than that, dude ain't got a chance in Hell . . .

[dalesys]

Now that's what you have when you're a 21st Century secret agent.

Agent 86, I presume?

[Fudgethatkay]

Seriously. Fuck the whiny towel people. Fuck them. I'm so sick and tired of their idiocy and childishness. A towel is a towel. It removes water from body or hard floor. Ta-fucking-da

You're not the only guests, we have other assholes who LOVE to take more than they need (fuck them too)

So get over yourselves... GAHHHH

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Agent 86, I presume?

Not quite. I'm thinking younger, 30ish and quite handsome with a streak of devilment in him.

What his name is, depends on which country you're in. If you want the American tradition, his name would be Illya Nikovetch Kuryakin, Jr.

But there again, if we go by the Russian tradition, his name would be Nikolai Illyanovitch Kuryakin.

Either way, he answers to "Nik." But if for some reason you're seeing double vision, don't worry - Nik has an identical twin brother, Vanya.

[Ben_Who]

Dear whiny customer:

Here's a wacky notion. I know it might seem difficult to imagine, and you might have to sit down for a while to mull it over, because the possibility is just too unbelievable to be accepted at face value. It requires some out-of-the-box, radical thinking that sometimes requires years of therapy, group and individual, to acquire; it's the sort of thinking that drives innovations like the light bulb, the automobile, and the Slap-Chop. For ages past, our greatest cultural transitions have hinged on such genius as I am about to impart to you. Are you prepared to have your mind blown, your perceptions transformed, your entire worldview shaken to its very foundations?

Bring your own damn towels.

[Ironclad Alibi]

Bring your own damn towels.

Indeed! Every intergalactic hitchhiker knows they should always have their towel with them.

[Jay 2K Winger]

Indeed! Every intergalactic hitchhiker knows they should always have their towel with them.

Zarkin' A. You're not a hoopy frood if you don't know where your towel is.

[mathnerd]

Confession: I am a whiny towel person. In my defense, I am generally traveling with three kids, and they sometimes go through more than their fair share. Also, I have very long hair, which necessitates the use of two towels after my shower.

Of course, while I may be whiny, if faced with a towel shortage at a hotel, the most I'll do is pout a little bit while I go off and figure out a way to dry my hair with wash cloths and hand towels.

[Caractacus_Potts]

And what sort of emergency would you have where you would need to use the printer anyway?

"Okay Jack Bauer, I'm e-mailing you this map to the bomb....."
"DAMN! The printer doesnt' work...."
"Oh well there goes LA"

LOL! I'm pretty sure what he was thinking was more along the lines of, "If the hotel caught fire and was burning down THEN you would be able to get in touch with the GM. My not being able to use the printer is JUST as bad as the hotel being on fire so F-ING CALL THE GM NOW!"

Although I like your Jack Bauer story arc.

[emax4]

Having never worked in a hotel, my answer may be "out there". However, I think you should be able to get away with simply asking, "Just curious... How come you didn't bring your own pool towels, like everyone else?"

This can result in a number of things:

• The customer may be taken back by the question that someone else is questioning the customer's (lack of) responsibility.
• The customer may be enlightened as to a new concept upon them
• By adding "like everyone else", this puts them in a realm that they're all alone, and some people don't like to be alone in doing things. They want to go with the flow and join the group.

I would love to see the customer's replies to that.

[mathnerd]

Most hotels with pools provide pool towels. They're small and thin, and usually a different color than the regular towels, unless we're talking about higher end hotels, and then they're not usually small and thin. Actually, the last time I stayed at a higher end place, I preferred the pool towels to the bath towels, and the bath towels were nicer than mine at home. Any of the beach hotels I've stayed at have also provided beach towels, but those have all been higher end places. I'm pretty sure the lower end places on the beach wouldn't provide beach towels.

Unless the place was a complete dive, I'd never think to bring my own pool towels.

[Pagan]

Not quite. I'm thinking younger, 30ish and quite handsome with a streak of devilment in him.

What his name is, depends on which country you're in. If you want the American tradition, his name would be Illya Nikovetch Kuryakin, Jr.

But there again, if we go by the Russian tradition, his name would be Nikolai Illyanovitch Kuryakin.

Either way, he answers to "Nik." But if for some reason you're seeing double vision, don't worry - Nik has an identical twin brother, Vanya.

No, he answers to "Ducky" now!

[NateTheChops]

Hot Water Balloons

I noted a couple of latex balloons, filled with hot water, laying in the hallway.

The Human Torch must have spent the night at your hotel.