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Hello! I am that employee in the red apron that you just passed that asked if you found everything alright. I must apologize if I ask you a couple more times during your visit today but it is how I am instructed to greet customers on the floor and honestly I probably just can't remember I have already asked you. Anyhoo, I just wanted to go over a couple of things to remember during you visit to my fine establishment:
1. Yes, we do have coffee and tea samples. Delicious huh? Do mind the TWELVE conveniently located trash bins around the store to dispose of your cups. On a random piece of furniture, behind some cookies, and my favorite, making a totem poles of stuffed animals and cups is not where those go. This also applies to fast food cups, coldstone bowls, and wrappers from food stolen from the store.
2. On that note, if you're going to eat food and not pay for it, please finish it! Nothing is sadder than a Kinder Happy Hippo that only has one bite from it.
3. I understand that you are bored while you're waiting for Olive Garden's insane two hour line. I get that you have kids and we have toys. I don't mind you enjoying yourselves. But please understand that honking a bike horn and dinging the hotel bell simultaneously for an hour may make me want to use one of these http://www.schylling.com/p/panic-pete-squeeze-toy. And by use I mean shove it down your throat and then squeeze.
4. Using the game "Marco Polo" as a way to find a loved one is fun. we like to play it here too. Just warning you if you here four other "Polo!"s to your "Marco!".
5. I personally take great pride in making sure there is floor models/samples of most of our products. These are here so you can touch/sniff/examine/undo/whatever before you buy. Please do not open a brand new package, make a huge mess, then hand it to me saying you don't want it/ask for a discount for an opened package. I will make you take the open one at regular price (should you still choose to want to purchase).
6. I am sure there is a coupon out. Are you a member of our rewards club? Check your email. No, I do not have any coupons on me. If I do, you probably wouldn't want it since I'm not aware it is there.
7. If you are going to steal, at least be somewhat sneaky about it. Your wine bottle shaped leg is starting to leak.
8. Playing hide the spotted dick is getting old. It was amusing the first time but now I'm just bored. I will give props to the guys that hid it with the inflatable tongue. I might have kept it there for a day for my coworkers to find. You, sirs, made our day.
And that's it! Just some common courtesy and we'll get along fine.
Have a great day now! Buh bye!
Spork4pedro
1. Yes, we do have coffee and tea samples. Delicious huh? Do mind the TWELVE conveniently located trash bins around the store to dispose of your cups. On a random piece of furniture, behind some cookies, and my favorite, making a totem poles of stuffed animals and cups is not where those go. This also applies to fast food cups, coldstone bowls, and wrappers from food stolen from the store.
2. On that note, if you're going to eat food and not pay for it, please finish it! Nothing is sadder than a Kinder Happy Hippo that only has one bite from it.
3. I understand that you are bored while you're waiting for Olive Garden's insane two hour line. I get that you have kids and we have toys. I don't mind you enjoying yourselves. But please understand that honking a bike horn and dinging the hotel bell simultaneously for an hour may make me want to use one of these http://www.schylling.com/p/panic-pete-squeeze-toy. And by use I mean shove it down your throat and then squeeze.
4. Using the game "Marco Polo" as a way to find a loved one is fun. we like to play it here too. Just warning you if you here four other "Polo!"s to your "Marco!".
5. I personally take great pride in making sure there is floor models/samples of most of our products. These are here so you can touch/sniff/examine/undo/whatever before you buy. Please do not open a brand new package, make a huge mess, then hand it to me saying you don't want it/ask for a discount for an opened package. I will make you take the open one at regular price (should you still choose to want to purchase).
6. I am sure there is a coupon out. Are you a member of our rewards club? Check your email. No, I do not have any coupons on me. If I do, you probably wouldn't want it since I'm not aware it is there.
7. If you are going to steal, at least be somewhat sneaky about it. Your wine bottle shaped leg is starting to leak.
8. Playing hide the spotted dick is getting old. It was amusing the first time but now I'm just bored. I will give props to the guys that hid it with the inflatable tongue. I might have kept it there for a day for my coworkers to find. You, sirs, made our day.
And that's it! Just some common courtesy and we'll get along fine.
Have a great day now! Buh bye!
Spork4pedro
HOW DARE THEY. and ya know. You should pay for your chocolate, but clearly some people don't understand that
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