Tweet
...oh my!
Busy weekend for us, we are completely sold out (and have been all week)...but so is just about every hotel within about 50 miles of us. In short, we're getting calls all day, every day, just looking for any room at any price...but like everyone else, we have nothing to offer by the time the graveyard shift rolls around. Score one for people not planning ahead!
But, as usual, there are always some "special" moments with these people...such as:
Screw Grandma, I like the pillow top beds.
It's funny, because these people are actually fairly nice...it's more the note that they had on their reservation. And I quote: "Need a rollaway PLEASE! Need a cot in the room for grandma!"
You're bringing your grandma, and you're NOT giving her the more comfortable bed? Well, for one, that just seems like a dickish thing to do. Two, you're completely screwed, since every rollaway has already been taken, so you don't get one. Now, maybe #1 isn't bad (who knows, maybe she PREFERS the cots since they are lower to the ground or something), but #2 negates it anyway. Oh well, there were worse people to put up with.
Really? REALLY?
Idiot: Do you have any rooms open?
Me: I'm afraid tonight and tomorrow we are completely sold out.
Idiot: Not any rooms?
Me: Nope.
Idiot: Not even a suite or something?
Me: I have the lobby bathroom, but you can't sleep there, and someone did something unholy that's probably illegal in at least 40 countries early. Other than that though...
Idiot: ......but no suites?
Me: /facepalm
The level of persistence you are putting in on this venture is...well, not admirable certainly, but it is something I guess. This does not, however, change the fact that you have failed to process the correct information the first time you heard it. Specifically, "completely sold out", which I suppose through your ears may have somehow distorted to something like "monkey porkchop mcmoots" due to the way your brain fails to work. I can see how that might have Tuesday pandas bootsex.
Wait, what?
Ah, your last name must translate to "Asshole" in another language.
This one was ongoing for most of the night. It's hard to sum up all of the dialogue with this guy, but let us at least make a checklist:
Talks too much? Check.
Hangs around the desk for no reason? Check.
Keeps trying to smoke in the lobby, despite being told NO repeatedly? Check.
Fucking weird as all hell? CHECK!!!
Keeps saying he may need an ambulance because his guts are acting up? Check (gee, maybe smoking 2 packs of cigarettes overnight might not be helping).
Throwing up not once, not twice, but FIVE TIMES right outside our front door, and not saying anything? Check check check check FUCK YOU.
I only found out about the last one because someone else came in and told me they saw it on the ground. When I went out with some pitchers of water, he was out there (smoking, naturally), and said "Oh yeah, I guess those were me."
Gee, thank you for that witty reply you worthless sack of shit. You've only been hanging around, bugging me for the past 5 hours or so. I can totally see how you never managed to weave "by the way, I've been leaving Happy Digestion Chunks all over your front drive" into any of the awkward, creepy conversations you struck up with me. The fact that our bathrooms were a mere 20 feet from that area, and that there were several trash cans even closer must not have registered either. Maybe it's because you're missing an important piece of the puzzle here, so let me help you out: When you vomit, it's not your body supplying you with a quick and easy snack of something you ate earlier for you to eat again. I know, it's on the ground and it looks all too appetizing, but it's what the rest of us call "fucking disgusting", and the fact that you would just leave it there and not say anything makes me want to punch you in the soul. With any luck, you'll avoid having offspring (or at least have the common courtesy to eat them when you do) just to save future generations the aggravation of justifiable homicide, because it's only downhill from here with your bloodline. Clearly, "someone done fucked up" with you.
Stop trying to screw us, call center!
During the day, there is a call center who makes our reservations. They are, mercifully, closed overnight, which means I can help avoid any catastrophic fuck ups while I'm there. Thankfully, I managed to stop them this morning from making a new one when they called to confirm something for us.
See, we're not just sold out tonight, we're way overbooked. But that didn't stop some idiot at the call center from seeing one room type that was marked as a positive (1 left) and trying to sell it. Never mind the fact that every other room type was in BIG RED NEGATIVE NUMBERS, she wanted to sell that one room left. She then got upset when I replied "No no no no no no no GOD NO. Do not sell that room, and close everything out for today, we are way overbooked already."
Her reply? "But I already said I may have a room tonight!" "That's fine, tell them you were mistaken...we've been overbooked that day for weeks, we are most definitely NOT selling rooms tonight. At all."
I have enough trouble dodging bullets here locally, stop adding to my shit stack from afar.
I guess you're fucked then, aren't you?
SC: I want to extend my reservation another night.
Me: I'm sorry ma'am, we are completely full for tonight, we don't have any rooms open to extend people into.
SC: But we already have the room!
Me: You had it for last night, but people have reservations for every room tonight, we can't just cancel them for someone else to stay instead. That doesn't work.
SC: But we can't even find another hotel near here that has a room open now, can't you just give us one more night?
Me: I'm sorry ma'am, but your reservation covers the nights you were here for; if you had reserved for a longer period, we could have given you an early check out with no issues, but since you only held the room until today, there is nothing we can do.
SC: Well we'll see about that! I'm going to tell everyone about how horrible you are being to me right now!!
Me: I understand. Is there anything I CAN help you with?
SC: /glare
Look, I sympathize. Well, ok, no I actually don't, since you could have planned further ahead when you first booked these rooms.
I heard her talking to her husband later on (when she didn't notice I was near), and she kept saying "I just really thought they would let us extend, even though it was full" with variations here and there in the text. I went back and looked at her room (I hadn't even looked, since I knew we were full), and there were actually notes that said she KNEW the hotel was going to be full tonight when she booked, and was aware that she could not extend the room unless there were enough cancellations. Sigh.
That's all I have the stomach for now
Will add more tonight, I'm sure.
Busy weekend for us, we are completely sold out (and have been all week)...but so is just about every hotel within about 50 miles of us. In short, we're getting calls all day, every day, just looking for any room at any price...but like everyone else, we have nothing to offer by the time the graveyard shift rolls around. Score one for people not planning ahead!
But, as usual, there are always some "special" moments with these people...such as:
Screw Grandma, I like the pillow top beds.
It's funny, because these people are actually fairly nice...it's more the note that they had on their reservation. And I quote: "Need a rollaway PLEASE! Need a cot in the room for grandma!"
You're bringing your grandma, and you're NOT giving her the more comfortable bed? Well, for one, that just seems like a dickish thing to do. Two, you're completely screwed, since every rollaway has already been taken, so you don't get one. Now, maybe #1 isn't bad (who knows, maybe she PREFERS the cots since they are lower to the ground or something), but #2 negates it anyway. Oh well, there were worse people to put up with.
Really? REALLY?
Idiot: Do you have any rooms open?
Me: I'm afraid tonight and tomorrow we are completely sold out.
Idiot: Not any rooms?
Me: Nope.
Idiot: Not even a suite or something?
Me: I have the lobby bathroom, but you can't sleep there, and someone did something unholy that's probably illegal in at least 40 countries early. Other than that though...
Idiot: ......but no suites?
Me: /facepalm
The level of persistence you are putting in on this venture is...well, not admirable certainly, but it is something I guess. This does not, however, change the fact that you have failed to process the correct information the first time you heard it. Specifically, "completely sold out", which I suppose through your ears may have somehow distorted to something like "monkey porkchop mcmoots" due to the way your brain fails to work. I can see how that might have Tuesday pandas bootsex.
Wait, what?
Ah, your last name must translate to "Asshole" in another language.
This one was ongoing for most of the night. It's hard to sum up all of the dialogue with this guy, but let us at least make a checklist:
Talks too much? Check.
Hangs around the desk for no reason? Check.
Keeps trying to smoke in the lobby, despite being told NO repeatedly? Check.
Fucking weird as all hell? CHECK!!!
Keeps saying he may need an ambulance because his guts are acting up? Check (gee, maybe smoking 2 packs of cigarettes overnight might not be helping).
Throwing up not once, not twice, but FIVE TIMES right outside our front door, and not saying anything? Check check check check FUCK YOU.
I only found out about the last one because someone else came in and told me they saw it on the ground. When I went out with some pitchers of water, he was out there (smoking, naturally), and said "Oh yeah, I guess those were me."
Gee, thank you for that witty reply you worthless sack of shit. You've only been hanging around, bugging me for the past 5 hours or so. I can totally see how you never managed to weave "by the way, I've been leaving Happy Digestion Chunks all over your front drive" into any of the awkward, creepy conversations you struck up with me. The fact that our bathrooms were a mere 20 feet from that area, and that there were several trash cans even closer must not have registered either. Maybe it's because you're missing an important piece of the puzzle here, so let me help you out: When you vomit, it's not your body supplying you with a quick and easy snack of something you ate earlier for you to eat again. I know, it's on the ground and it looks all too appetizing, but it's what the rest of us call "fucking disgusting", and the fact that you would just leave it there and not say anything makes me want to punch you in the soul. With any luck, you'll avoid having offspring (or at least have the common courtesy to eat them when you do) just to save future generations the aggravation of justifiable homicide, because it's only downhill from here with your bloodline. Clearly, "someone done fucked up" with you.
Stop trying to screw us, call center!
During the day, there is a call center who makes our reservations. They are, mercifully, closed overnight, which means I can help avoid any catastrophic fuck ups while I'm there. Thankfully, I managed to stop them this morning from making a new one when they called to confirm something for us.
See, we're not just sold out tonight, we're way overbooked. But that didn't stop some idiot at the call center from seeing one room type that was marked as a positive (1 left) and trying to sell it. Never mind the fact that every other room type was in BIG RED NEGATIVE NUMBERS, she wanted to sell that one room left. She then got upset when I replied "No no no no no no no GOD NO. Do not sell that room, and close everything out for today, we are way overbooked already."
Her reply? "But I already said I may have a room tonight!" "That's fine, tell them you were mistaken...we've been overbooked that day for weeks, we are most definitely NOT selling rooms tonight. At all."
I have enough trouble dodging bullets here locally, stop adding to my shit stack from afar.
I guess you're fucked then, aren't you?
SC: I want to extend my reservation another night.
Me: I'm sorry ma'am, we are completely full for tonight, we don't have any rooms open to extend people into.
SC: But we already have the room!
Me: You had it for last night, but people have reservations for every room tonight, we can't just cancel them for someone else to stay instead. That doesn't work.
SC: But we can't even find another hotel near here that has a room open now, can't you just give us one more night?
Me: I'm sorry ma'am, but your reservation covers the nights you were here for; if you had reserved for a longer period, we could have given you an early check out with no issues, but since you only held the room until today, there is nothing we can do.
SC: Well we'll see about that! I'm going to tell everyone about how horrible you are being to me right now!!
Me: I understand. Is there anything I CAN help you with?
SC: /glare
Look, I sympathize. Well, ok, no I actually don't, since you could have planned further ahead when you first booked these rooms.
I heard her talking to her husband later on (when she didn't notice I was near), and she kept saying "I just really thought they would let us extend, even though it was full" with variations here and there in the text. I went back and looked at her room (I hadn't even looked, since I knew we were full), and there were actually notes that said she KNEW the hotel was going to be full tonight when she booked, and was aware that she could not extend the room unless there were enough cancellations. Sigh.
That's all I have the stomach for now
Will add more tonight, I'm sure.
Comment