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To the guy who thought it would be funny to deliberately walk through my freshly mopped patch of floor when 75% of the store hadn't been mopped: I hate you. I saw you walk through that mud puddle, and then look to see what I was doing when you walked in the door. I'm sure you were disappointed when I maintained my (half-assed) professionalism in ringing you up. May a thousand mutant camel fleas infest your scrotal area during your next board meeting.
To the girl who was flirting. Yes, you were cute. Freckles, bright red hair, and a killer set of... glasses.
However, you kinda blew your chances when you revealed the tin of Skoal long-cut was for yourself. And your smile would have been absolutely beautiful, if I hadn't seen the damage said chewing tobakky had already done to your teeth. Kayluvyoubuhbye!
Yes, milk went up six cents again. No, I don't know why. No, I can't find out. Yes, there's a bunch of dairy farms around here, but you won't find me around them. Do I LOOK like a farm boy? I only recently found out that riding crops aren't exclusively for use in the bedroom.
Yes, I know the pumps aren't working. You can thank Corporate for dicking around with the computer systems which somehow brought down our pumps. No, I can't fix it, I know nothing of the system, or how it works. Oh, you're going down the street? Okay, that's fine with me, they're ten cent more expensive, and we've still got people backing up in the streets to wait on our cheaper prices. Kayluvyoubuhbye!
Oh, you think you're hardcore because you brag about downing a measly two Monster energy drinks in ten minutes? Bitch, please. Tell you what, you mix up two liters of Mountain Dew with two Amps and two Monster energy drinks and suck that down in fifteen minutes like I have, then take a nap shortly afterwards. THEN we'll talk hardcore. Now piss off, there's blood in my caffeine stream that must be ruthlessly suppressed.
Yes, crazy semi-homeless guy, I do believe in angels. Several, in fact. Selma Hayak and Antonio Banderas fill my dreams nightly. Alas, I shall never see those particular angels beyond the silver screen and my DVD collection.
What the bleeding hell is it with you people and hundred dollar bills?! WHY?! We're a convenience store, not the flippin' bank! Go there, you idiots. And the next one of you morons that pulls out a hundred at three in the morning, I'm going to set you on FIRE. Fifties and hundreds should be banned.
Yes, our prices ARE more expensive than the grocery store. No, I don't care. It's a CONVENIENT store. You're paying for the convenience of not having to go to the grocery store, and the fact you're willing to pay for that, is convenient to us, natch.
To the girl who was flirting. Yes, you were cute. Freckles, bright red hair, and a killer set of... glasses.
However, you kinda blew your chances when you revealed the tin of Skoal long-cut was for yourself. And your smile would have been absolutely beautiful, if I hadn't seen the damage said chewing tobakky had already done to your teeth. Kayluvyoubuhbye!Yes, milk went up six cents again. No, I don't know why. No, I can't find out. Yes, there's a bunch of dairy farms around here, but you won't find me around them. Do I LOOK like a farm boy? I only recently found out that riding crops aren't exclusively for use in the bedroom.
Yes, I know the pumps aren't working. You can thank Corporate for dicking around with the computer systems which somehow brought down our pumps. No, I can't fix it, I know nothing of the system, or how it works. Oh, you're going down the street? Okay, that's fine with me, they're ten cent more expensive, and we've still got people backing up in the streets to wait on our cheaper prices. Kayluvyoubuhbye!
Oh, you think you're hardcore because you brag about downing a measly two Monster energy drinks in ten minutes? Bitch, please. Tell you what, you mix up two liters of Mountain Dew with two Amps and two Monster energy drinks and suck that down in fifteen minutes like I have, then take a nap shortly afterwards. THEN we'll talk hardcore. Now piss off, there's blood in my caffeine stream that must be ruthlessly suppressed.
Yes, crazy semi-homeless guy, I do believe in angels. Several, in fact. Selma Hayak and Antonio Banderas fill my dreams nightly. Alas, I shall never see those particular angels beyond the silver screen and my DVD collection.
What the bleeding hell is it with you people and hundred dollar bills?! WHY?! We're a convenience store, not the flippin' bank! Go there, you idiots. And the next one of you morons that pulls out a hundred at three in the morning, I'm going to set you on FIRE. Fifties and hundreds should be banned.
Yes, our prices ARE more expensive than the grocery store. No, I don't care. It's a CONVENIENT store. You're paying for the convenience of not having to go to the grocery store, and the fact you're willing to pay for that, is convenient to us, natch.
There is a slight flaw in my character.
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