Could you provide proof you are qualified to practice medicine?

[Mango]

.
Watch out, Manitoba.

SC: "I need to find out how to become a medical doctor."
Me: "I'm sorry, you have the wrong--"
SC: "But! I need to know how to become a doctor without taking all the courses and things."
Me: "I'm pretty sure you need--"
SC: "I have fifteen years of experience in Manitoba."

My reaction to this call requires point form.
- We're not a medical school. In fact, we're not an anything school.
- Although we're not a medical school, I am pretty sure you need to take "courses and things" in order to become a doctor.
- People like you are the reason we have to do background checks on every single doctor that wants to become a customer. It's to make sure you are AN ACTUAL DOCTOR.
- And finally, may I ask how it is that you have fifteen years of experience doing something you admit you are not qualified to do? Do I want to know?



While I'm thinking of it, this was from a few years ago...

Me: "Hi, I'm calling to check on the status of a Dr. Firstname Lastname."
Rep: "He is not and has never been registered as a physician with [college]."
Me: "...you didn't even need to look that up."
Rep: "Nope, you're not the first person to call unfortunately."

That's...a little unsettling.



Also this:

SC: "My name is Dr. Firstname Lastname, MH."
Me: "Thank you, and what does MH stand for?"
SC: "Medical Healer."
Me: [wtf?] "I'm sorry, I'm not familiar with that term."
SC: "I have a background in medicine."
Me: "Ok...may I ask where you earned your doctorate?"
SC: "I said I have a background in medicine."
Me: "I'm sorry to ask, but could you provide proof in writing that you are qualified to practice medicine?"
SC: "Are you saying that you're questioning my honour? I have never been asked such a question before. I'm wondering about the reason for it."
Me: "I apologize for the inconvenience. We check the credentials of everyone that advertises with us, and everyone who purchases [medical software]."
SC: "This gets my back up. This gets my back up, big time!"
Me: "Pardon?"

He wouldn't accept that I refused to help him and worked all the way up to a Vice-President. Fortunately, since it's a liability issue, we have zero discretion on this. Everyone told him the same thing I did: sometimes you can't just make up credentials.



This happened just now:

SC: "My name is Dr. Firstname Lastname."
Me: "Thank you very much; may I ask what kind of doctor you are?"
SC: "I'm a very inimitable doctor."

I...ok, what? I looked up "inimitable" in the dictionary for the official definition. It is: "so good or unusual as to be impossible to copy". So I've asked for your credentials, and what you've said is you're a "very so good or unusual as to be impossible to copy doctor". What does that even mean?

Upon further investigation I discovered that he doesn't claim to have a degree; he just says "Doctor" before his name when introducing himself. I'm curious; assuming he is not practicing medicine, is this legal?



This was probably not one of the doctors, but I never can tell:

SC: "It's just me. I'm phoning up you, dickhead."

This was a message on my voicemail when I got back from lunch today. The amateur prank caller didn't block his Caller ID. Oh, the possibilities!



And finally, a moment of whimsy:

Me: "Hello, [Company name] Medical Techology."
SC: "Hi, is this [Company name] Medical Technology?"
Me: "Yes sir, it is."
SC: "You do shoe repair, right?"

Hooray! The second stupidest conversation I've had in my entire life!


__________________
Where the Colors Don't Go

[fireheart]

Upon further investigation I discovered that he doesn't claim to have a degree; he just says "Doctor" before his name when introducing himself. I'm curious; assuming he is not practicing medicine, is this legal?

I do believe that if you have a Doctorate in anything, you are allowed to call yourself "Doctor."

[ArcticChicken]

And finally, a moment of whimsy:

Me: "Hello, [Company name] Medical Techology."
SC: "Hi, is this [Company name] Medical Technology?"
Me: "Yes sir, it is."
SC: "You do shoe repair, right?"

Hooray! The second stupidest conversation I've had in my entire life!

....the second?

[Jay 2K Winger]

I do believe that if you have a Doctorate in anything, you are allowed to call yourself "Doctor."

This is true. Of course, you open yourself up to whiners who don't like the fact that you call yourself a "doctor," but they're also the kind of people who will find anything to complain about.

[mathnerd]

I do believe that if you have a Doctorate in anything, you are allowed to call yourself "Doctor."

The term "Doctor" is a title earned by completing certain degrees, not all of which are are MD's. So rather than being "allowed" to call yourself "Doctor", you have earned the right to use the title, just as those people completing medical degrees. Honestly, while I'm quite certain you didn't mean to do so, your phrasing is rather offensive to those who have often times poured far more work and years of their lives to complete Ph.D's. There are a few Ph.D. programs that make medical school look like child's play.

[Enjis]

I believe it is considered a bit...or a lot...show-offy to use the title 'Doctor' in your name if you are not in the medical field or teaching at University.
This is not saying that physists, chemists, engineers, philosophers and so many others who have doctorates are NOT doctors, or that they don't have the right to use the title!
They do...it is just considered a bit gauche.
My father-in-law has a doctorate in chemistry, but he never calls himself 'Doctor Lastname' , not even professionally.

[gremcint]

.
Watch out, Manitoba.

SC: "I need to find out how to become a medical doctor."
Me: "I'm sorry, you have the wrong--"
SC: "But! I need to know how to become a doctor without taking all the courses and things."
Me: "I'm pretty sure you need--"
SC: "I have fifteen years of experience in Manitoba."

This guy needs to realize there's a difference between playing doctor and actually you know being a doctor.

[Mango]

My question though is what governing body should enforce the rules if I started calling myself "Doctor Mango" (I'm not), but didn't state that I was an MD, Ph.D, DDS, or the like.

If someone is claiming to be an MD and we suspect they're not, we're supposed to call the College of Physicians and Surgeons and let them deal with it. But if someone is claiming to be an arbitrary doctor, no one (as far as I am aware) cares as long as they don't state which kind of doctor.

[MoonCat]

"Medical Healer"? Is there another kind?

And gotta love the last one. Shoe repair?? WTF?

[mathnerd]

I believe it is considered a bit...or a lot...show-offy to use the title 'Doctor' in your name if you are not in the medical field or teaching at University.
This is not saying that physists, chemists, engineers, philosophers and so many others who have doctorates are NOT doctors, or that they don't have the right to use the title!
They do...it is just considered a bit gauche.
My father-in-law has a doctorate in chemistry, but he never calls himself 'Doctor Lastname' , not even professionally.

This is true to an extent. Depending on regional preferences, some people use the title professionally and some do not. It was the use of the word "allowed" that I recoiled at. Most of my colleagues at the university preferred the title "professor" because while everybody and their brothers had Ph.D's, not all of them were actual professors. Even the adjuncts and lecturers are typically Ph.D holders.

[fireheart]

This is true to an extent. Depending on regional preferences, some people use the title professionally and some do not. It was the use of the word "allowed" that I recoiled at. Most of my colleagues at the university preferred the title "professor" because while everybody and their brothers had Ph.D's, not all of them were actual professors. Even the adjuncts and lecturers are typically Ph.D holders.

I'm very glad that my uni encourages a first name basis with staff. Several of the staff do have doctorates or are in the process of doing so. Despite this, they won't chew you out if you forget to address them by their title in correspondence.

Bizarrely enough, the online tax program used in Aussieland has this huge list of titles. I can understand some of the titles listed (doctor, professor, priests) but they had "his/her royal highness" in the list as well.

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

"Medical Healer"? Is there another kind?

Sexual healer.

[emax4]

I think I'm gonna sue Boss/Roland for misrepresentation of their Dr. Beat and Dr Rhythm drum machines and metronomes...

[Jester]

Upon further investigation I discovered that he doesn't claim to have a degree; he just says "Doctor" before his name when introducing himself. I'm curious; assuming he is not practicing medicine, is this legal?

I do believe that if you have a Doctorate in anything, you are allowed to call yourself "Doctor."

My question though is what governing body should enforce the rules if I started calling myself "Doctor Mango" (I'm not), but didn't state that I was an MD, Ph.D, DDS, or the like.

Yes and no.

It is legal to call yourself Doctor as long as you are not claiming to be a medical doctor for the purposes of practicing medicine or obtaining things only someone with a medical degree and/or license can legally obtain. In other words, if you just want to refer to yourself as Doctor Mango, it's legal, as long as you don't go beyond using it as a title.

In many circles, it is considered arrogant or rude to use such a title without having earned it through a medical degree or some other doctorate, or at the very least being a therapist of some sort, but that does not make using the title for no other purposes than using the title illegal.

Musicians have done this, such as Doctor Hook, Doctor John, Dr. Dre, Doc Severinsen, and Doc Watson, only the last of which I had never heard of. And I'm pretty sure none of them got in trouble with the law for using the title.

It's not just music. Basketball had the great player, Dr. J, and has a very good coach Doc Rivers.

And in my own field of magic, there is Doc Eason, who I have had the pleasure of meeting several times.

And in fiction, there is, of course, The Doctor.

But forget fiction or famous people. When people ask me what drink I recommend, and then question it, I often counter with, "Trust me...I'm the doctor." They know I'm not an M.D.; I'm merely using the title to indicate my proficiency as a bartender. Hell, I stole the idea blatantly from my friend's dad, Doctor Bob, who tended bar down here forever, until his recent retirement. When something was ailing you, and you needed a cure, you went and saw Doctor Bob. His Bloody Marys were legendary cures. And He was not the first...many other bartenders do the same thing. And we get away with it. Why? Because no one thinks we are medical doctors. Or if someone is that stupid, it's not because we represented ourselves as such, not by any basic intelligent analysis.

I can call myself Doctor Jester from now till the day I'm slinging drinks at the Pearly Gate Bar & Grill, but as long as I don't use the title as anything more than a title, it means nothing, and is legally meaningless.

( For those wondering, I've left out the musician Doc Ellis, because he had a musical doctorate, and the gunfighter Doc Holliday, because he was an actual dentist. Also, I am not now nor have ever been a lawyer--or a doctor--so I reserve the right to be wrong about this to some degree, as I have no doubt that some country or municipality somewhere has really anal, stringent, ridiculous rules about such things.)

And finally, may I ask how it is that you have fifteen years of experience doing something you admit you are not qualified to do? Do I want to know?

I've been dating for even longer.

I rest my case.

SC: "I have a background in medicine."

I have a background in medicine to, as I've taken it for many years, for various ailments. And considering my penchant to cause physical injury to myself, I don't think it's at all a stretch to say I have a background in medicine!

...what you've said is you're a "very so good or unusual as to be impossible to copy doctor". What does that even mean?

If he wasn't using the term doctor, it would mean he was pretending to be me.

Hooray! The second stupidest conversation I've had in my entire life!

And the first was...?

"Medical Healer"? Is there another kind?

Emotional. Psychological. Sexual. Psychic. Spiritual. Even physical, such as in sports medicine or physical therapy, both of which can be healing without being medical.

Bizarrely enough, the online tax program used in Aussieland has this huge list of titles. I can understand some of the titles listed (doctor, professor, priests) but they had "his/her royal highness" in the list as well.

This makes sense to me, actually. While Australia, like the U.S., does not have any royalty of its own, they could certainly have members of various royal families from around the world living in or operating a business in Oz. As such, they might well be subject to taxation. Thus the need for the title in the tax code, even if it's never used.

[Mr Hero]

Hello, I'm The Doctor. You'll find my credentials right here. *flashes psychic paper*