{bg}Videogames technical support{/bg}
OK, so the people I work for are giving away a (small-ish) bonus to customers who either bought a certain special version of the game or who played for a certain period of time in 2012.
This morning, a customer asked for a callback from a manager. Which is when yours truly steps in.
So, I wait a couple of hours then call.
Background noise. LOUD background noise. Sounds like people arguing (probably a television though, the sound had that artificial quality) + at least two children crying + a man laughing.
Then, the Screech from Hell. From what I gathered from the context I concluded that the being I was talking to was a... I don't want to abuse the word "lady" or "woman"... I'd say a female of the human species. Probably.
So, I'll reproduce our conversation the best I can.
Characters:
SH: the Screech from Hell
CI: Cecil Ivanish, your Moron in Management
SH: YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES?
CI: Good afternoon, this is [Cecil Ivanish] from [Fantastic Stuff] customer support; you asked for a callback from us?
SH: Yes you see my husband bought your crap game when it came out and stuck with it when it was terrible and now that it is better he wants to go back and get his bonus and he was very how do I say upset yes I can use this word that he needs to buy that special version to get it.
[all this without a single breath]
CI: OK, was your husband playing last year?
[note that I should have insisted to talk to the husband, but hey, maybe he is mute or whatever, or maybe his own wife thinks he is as she has not allowed him to talk since they met first]
SH: No he played for three years he didn't play last year don't you get it?
["three years" would include the whole of 2012 and some of 2013 too...]
CI: I see, could you please give me your husband's game details so I can check...
SH: I won't give you anything you give me now the [Fantastic Stuff] mailing address post and e-mail now so I can write now and complain now that the treatment you are giving to your customers is let me choose a word I can say unacceptable.
CI: If you want I can, ma'am; however, I am actually the Customer Support Manager and...
SH: I want the address of the headquarters.
CI: Sure. So, it is [Fantastic Stuff] Ltd, [Random Name] House, [Postal Code], [Very Big City].
SH: Spell the part after [RandomName].
CI: House?
SH: Yes what did you say?
[now, I am not a native speaker of English, but... HOUSE? When you got all the rest?]
CI: H for Hotel, O for Oscar, U for Uniform, S for Sierra, E for Echo.
SH: Are the last two S for Simon and E for Elizabeth?
CI: Yes, correct.
SH: So say it, my lovely.
CI: I'm sorry. Now, the e-mail address is [support] at [fantastic] dash [stuff] dot com.
SH: What is it between [fantastic] and [stuff]?
CI: A dash; a hyphen?
SH: A WHAT?
CI: The minus sign?
SH: So say it, my lovely.
CI: OK, that's you set, is there anything else I can help you with?
SH: No my lovely, we only want to complain about the [choice word] treatment a good customer like my husband is getting.
CI: OK then, have a nice day ma'am.
SH: Bye. OI THAT WAS [FANTASTIC STUFF] I HAVE THE ADDRESS FOR COMPLAINT SEE IF WE GET THAT FREE STUFF.
[roaring laughter on the background]
Also, a quick research suggested that her pwecious husband didn't play for 3 years. Or 3 months. Make it rather 3 weeks.
The free trial period.
OK, so the people I work for are giving away a (small-ish) bonus to customers who either bought a certain special version of the game or who played for a certain period of time in 2012.
This morning, a customer asked for a callback from a manager. Which is when yours truly steps in.
So, I wait a couple of hours then call.
Background noise. LOUD background noise. Sounds like people arguing (probably a television though, the sound had that artificial quality) + at least two children crying + a man laughing.
Then, the Screech from Hell. From what I gathered from the context I concluded that the being I was talking to was a... I don't want to abuse the word "lady" or "woman"... I'd say a female of the human species. Probably.
So, I'll reproduce our conversation the best I can.
Characters:
SH: the Screech from Hell
CI: Cecil Ivanish, your Moron in Management
SH: YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES?
CI: Good afternoon, this is [Cecil Ivanish] from [Fantastic Stuff] customer support; you asked for a callback from us?
SH: Yes you see my husband bought your crap game when it came out and stuck with it when it was terrible and now that it is better he wants to go back and get his bonus and he was very how do I say upset yes I can use this word that he needs to buy that special version to get it.
[all this without a single breath]
CI: OK, was your husband playing last year?
[note that I should have insisted to talk to the husband, but hey, maybe he is mute or whatever, or maybe his own wife thinks he is as she has not allowed him to talk since they met first]
SH: No he played for three years he didn't play last year don't you get it?
["three years" would include the whole of 2012 and some of 2013 too...]
CI: I see, could you please give me your husband's game details so I can check...
SH: I won't give you anything you give me now the [Fantastic Stuff] mailing address post and e-mail now so I can write now and complain now that the treatment you are giving to your customers is let me choose a word I can say unacceptable.
CI: If you want I can, ma'am; however, I am actually the Customer Support Manager and...
SH: I want the address of the headquarters.
CI: Sure. So, it is [Fantastic Stuff] Ltd, [Random Name] House, [Postal Code], [Very Big City].
SH: Spell the part after [RandomName].
CI: House?
SH: Yes what did you say?
[now, I am not a native speaker of English, but... HOUSE? When you got all the rest?]
CI: H for Hotel, O for Oscar, U for Uniform, S for Sierra, E for Echo.
SH: Are the last two S for Simon and E for Elizabeth?
CI: Yes, correct.
SH: So say it, my lovely.
CI: I'm sorry. Now, the e-mail address is [support] at [fantastic] dash [stuff] dot com.
SH: What is it between [fantastic] and [stuff]?
CI: A dash; a hyphen?
SH: A WHAT?
CI: The minus sign?
SH: So say it, my lovely.
CI: OK, that's you set, is there anything else I can help you with?
SH: No my lovely, we only want to complain about the [choice word] treatment a good customer like my husband is getting.
CI: OK then, have a nice day ma'am.
SH: Bye. OI THAT WAS [FANTASTIC STUFF] I HAVE THE ADDRESS FOR COMPLAINT SEE IF WE GET THAT FREE STUFF.
[roaring laughter on the background]
Also, a quick research suggested that her pwecious husband didn't play for 3 years. Or 3 months. Make it rather 3 weeks.
The free trial period.
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