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ME: Thank you for calling [name of our company] my name is ominousoat, how can I help you?
SC: I called yesterday to get my gas turned on, and they said the system...was, uh...like being re...uh...recal...uh redone.
ME: Okay...
SC: And, uh, then they shut off the gas!
ME: Okay...what is your address.
SC: [gives address we don't serve]
ME: Okay, you would need to call [competing gas company] (Don't worry Pinkie, not yours)
SC: Ah know, their system is being...uh...re...um, it's down. They won't be up until Monday.
ME: Okay...
SC: I need my gas on.
ME: Okay...well I'm sorry, but we can't do that for you.
SC: Uh...uh...
ME: Is there anything else I can help you with?
SC: Do you know how I can break their lock off of the meter?
ME: No sir, I'm afraid I don't, and that's also illegal. I'm afraid there is nothing else I can help you with.
SC: Uh...uh...okay [click]
To make this all even better, the guy sounded just like Bill from King of the Hill, so go back and read that again with his voice in mind, it'll be even better.
SC: I called yesterday to get my gas turned on, and they said the system...was, uh...like being re...uh...recal...uh redone.
ME: Okay...
SC: And, uh, then they shut off the gas!
ME: Okay...what is your address.
SC: [gives address we don't serve]
ME: Okay, you would need to call [competing gas company] (Don't worry Pinkie, not yours)
SC: Ah know, their system is being...uh...re...um, it's down. They won't be up until Monday.
ME: Okay...
SC: I need my gas on.
ME: Okay...well I'm sorry, but we can't do that for you.
SC: Uh...uh...
ME: Is there anything else I can help you with?
SC: Do you know how I can break their lock off of the meter?
ME: No sir, I'm afraid I don't, and that's also illegal. I'm afraid there is nothing else I can help you with.
SC: Uh...uh...okay [click]
To make this all even better, the guy sounded just like Bill from King of the Hill, so go back and read that again with his voice in mind, it'll be even better.
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