Listen, I don't like having my picture taken. Especially driver's license pictures. They are not going to be attractive. Or if they are good looking, you had better buy a lottery ticket because you are having a lucky day. I have had some winners, though.
(1) Lady is placed in front of the camera, and says, "Ooh! I want Mr, Jingles in the picture!" She then begins to stick her hand down into her blouse and dig around. The clerk thinks she is trying to whip out a tattooed breast, and says, "Ma'am, what are you doing?"
And out it comes: Mr. Jingles. A mouse. You know, like in The Green Mile. Not a white mouse. This is a live field mouse she keeps in her bra. The woman wanted to have Mr. Jingles on her head, with the tail draping down the side of her face.
No. Just, no.
(2) Lady does not like her photo. It makes her look old. Our camera system will allow us to take photo after photo, and that is what we end up doing. No! That makes her look old. Where did those jowls come from? After 6 photos, her solution is to try placing her hands under her chin in a coy girlish pose, trying to push the sagging skin out of the way. Rats! She still looks old. Finally, she looks at me and asks, "Do I really look like an old woman?" I don't know what to say because SHE IS 72 FREAKING YEARS OLD! My hesitation must have gotten through to her because she finally accepts the fact that she no longer looks 40 and leaves.
(3) This one guy was mad at us before he even made it to the counter (which I can see, not many people look forward to coming in and paying what is essentially taxes). It was when I went to take the photo that all heck broke loose. First photo: eyes are shut. I apologize, and say I have to take another photo. He argues that they were not shut. Second photo: eyes shut, only this time he insists that he NEVER shut his eyes. I flip the computer monitor around so that he can see his picture. "I didn't draw thiem shut!" (I was getting fed up with his cussing). Final photo he manages to bug his eyes out in some weird manner that makes it look like his head is going to explode. Fine! Bug eyed it is!
(4) This last one was my sister: her photo made her look washed out. She carefully and painstakingly applied little dibs and dabs of makeup to her license. I have to give her credit - she did a really good job. But come on, no one expects these photos to look good.
(1) Lady is placed in front of the camera, and says, "Ooh! I want Mr, Jingles in the picture!" She then begins to stick her hand down into her blouse and dig around. The clerk thinks she is trying to whip out a tattooed breast, and says, "Ma'am, what are you doing?"
And out it comes: Mr. Jingles. A mouse. You know, like in The Green Mile. Not a white mouse. This is a live field mouse she keeps in her bra. The woman wanted to have Mr. Jingles on her head, with the tail draping down the side of her face.
No. Just, no.
(2) Lady does not like her photo. It makes her look old. Our camera system will allow us to take photo after photo, and that is what we end up doing. No! That makes her look old. Where did those jowls come from? After 6 photos, her solution is to try placing her hands under her chin in a coy girlish pose, trying to push the sagging skin out of the way. Rats! She still looks old. Finally, she looks at me and asks, "Do I really look like an old woman?" I don't know what to say because SHE IS 72 FREAKING YEARS OLD! My hesitation must have gotten through to her because she finally accepts the fact that she no longer looks 40 and leaves.
(3) This one guy was mad at us before he even made it to the counter (which I can see, not many people look forward to coming in and paying what is essentially taxes). It was when I went to take the photo that all heck broke loose. First photo: eyes are shut. I apologize, and say I have to take another photo. He argues that they were not shut. Second photo: eyes shut, only this time he insists that he NEVER shut his eyes. I flip the computer monitor around so that he can see his picture. "I didn't draw thiem shut!" (I was getting fed up with his cussing). Final photo he manages to bug his eyes out in some weird manner that makes it look like his head is going to explode. Fine! Bug eyed it is!
(4) This last one was my sister: her photo made her look washed out. She carefully and painstakingly applied little dibs and dabs of makeup to her license. I have to give her credit - she did a really good job. But come on, no one expects these photos to look good.
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