If you can't dazzle them with brilliance...

[The Scaly Bard]

Confound them with bullshit!

The Cumberland Farms I work at somehow has the cheapest prices in town when it comes to milk, cheaper than even the local big-chain grocery stores. However, last week, it went from $2.49 a gallon for 2% to $2.55. (Skim milk is our biggest seller, we literally go through over a hundred gallons of that swill every day!)

So, last night, being that I worked overnight, it was inevitable that I would get one of those morons who hadn't set foot in the store since the price change, and would be bitchy about it. It happened about half past one.

Me: The cynical, sarcastic, sadistic bastard with the murderous smile
Moron: ...the moron.

Me: "The milk it for t'night?"
Moron: "Yup."
Me: "That's $2.55, please." *monitoring the cop circling the gas island like a lazy shark. He does that every night."
Moron: "What? It's supposed to be $2.49! It went up again?!"
Me *thinking, "Well, you obviously have the answer to that, Captain Obvious.": "Yep, went up last week. Just like everything else, it seems. Cash or card?"
Moron: "I shouldn't have to pay that price, that's a stinking rip-off! Why'd they raise the price again? Cumby's is ripping me off!"
Me *thinking, "Eh, what the hell, it's late, I'm bored... let's have some fun.": "Actually, Cumberland Farms has little to do with the increased prices of milk. Personally, if you want to blame anyone, blame the oil companies."
Moron *you could smell the smoke of grinding gears*: "Uh... the oil companies?"
Me: "Of course! You see, they've been raising the prices steadily over forty cents since Feb. Now, while that may seem to have nothing to do with milk, think about it. Milk has to be transported, right?"
Moron: "Uh..."
Me: "Exactly! Unfortunately, transportation needs fuel to run. With the increased gas prices, it's become radically more expensive to run the trucks, and pay the truckers. Therefore, companies are increasing the price of their goods in order to compensate for rising fuel costs.^ And then there's the diary industry, of course."
Moron: "Er..."
Me: "You see, the diary industry here in New England has been in a hard slump for quite some time. If the article I read in the paper is correct, it's actually the local or state governments that are dictating what prices they can charge for milk, and it's keeping the farmers at bare-bones minimum. Then again, it could also be-"
Moron *brain smoking*: "WHATEVER! JUST SELL ME THE GODDAMN MILK!"
Me: "Of course. $2.55, cash or card?"

^I have no idea who or what dictates the price of milk or gas, nor do I give a flaming, flying rat's ass either. This guy's an annoyance, so I decided screwing with him was in order.

[Broomjockey]

"Dear Diary; today I messed with a man about what caused the price of milk to rise."

Heh heh.

But you were probably right, up until this point, that transportation fees for dairy are part of what led to the price raise.

[The Scaly Bard]

"Dear Diary; today I messed with a man about what caused the price of milk to rise."

Actually, an entry in my diary would probably read something like, "Dear Diary, today I have once again toyed with the mind of my victim. It is only a matter of time before I hold his little bit of sanity in my hand, and crush it! Then, I will have the pleasure of watching him being dragged screaming from the store by those nice young men in the white coats!"

[iradney]

Actually, the rising petrol (Gas) price here in SA is what's causing everything else to go up. Food, drink, clothes, etc etc. *sigh* it's now R6,50 for a litre. Which is like US95c a litre. I remember when it used to be R2,50...*puts on old geezer hat*

[Imogene]

And then there's the diary industry, of course.

Um? What do leather bound notebooks have to do with milk?
And Skim Milk is not swill. Some of us (Hello, me.) can't drink anything fattier. And yes, I can tell the difference between a skim milk and a 1/2% milk.
*hugs*

[BookstoreEscapee]

Um? What do leather bound notebooks have to do with milk?
And Skim Milk is not swill. Some of us (Hello, me.) can't drink anything fattier. And yes, I can tell the difference between a skim milk and a 1/2% milk.
*hugs*

hehehe...I agree with you Juwl, about the skim milk. I will drink 2% if I have to but I'd rather not.

he does realize he's bitching about 6 cents, right? I don't even notice the price of milk, unless it was like, 4 bucks or something. It's just something I buy every week. Whatever the price I'm still gonna get it.

[Knightmare]

Most supermarkets here have whole milk for sale at almost $4.00 a gallon. Buy the milk in they yellow plastic containers, add another buck.
Same with soft drinks. A 12 pack is close to $5.00.
How can mom and pop convenience stores (and other regional convenience stores) sell them for almost half the price?
I never figured that one out.
You would think the larger grocery stores have the buying power, but they consistantly charge more.

[TNT]

How can mom and pop convenience stores (and other regional convenience stores) sell them for almost half the price?
I never figured that one out.

Not sure about the mom and pop stores, but it's simple for the regional chains in my area... they own a dairy. (Most of them were dairies that later entered the convenience store business.)

[Hempress]

Not sure about the mom and pop stores, but it's simple for the regional chains in my area... they own a dairy. (Most of them were dairies that later entered the convenience store business.)

Same here. Both of the most popular convenience stores in my area were dairies first.

[Boozy]

Chain convenience stores will often use staple items like milk as loss leaders, to get people to make a special trip into their stores. They're taking a loss on the milk, but making it up based on the fact that people who go into a convenience store also leave with chips, smokes, whatever else.