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  • #1

    Dangerous Chicken

    Hi guys. Sorry for the lack of posts! I have plenty of SC stories but I simply have not had the time to sit down and type them. Here's a little tale from a few weeks ago.

    I take a stir-fry chicken dish out to a customer. She sits there quite happily as she eats her meal, until....

    SC: *cough! cough!* Oh my God! I'm choking!

    She screamed it across the whole pub. Also, I just happen to be a registered first aider, so I thought I would go over and see if she was OK.

    Me: Ma'am, are you OK? Can you cough?
    SC: I'm choking on your food! Help me!

    She was breathing and talking quite a lot for someone who was choking.

    Me: OK, I will get you a glass of water.
    SC: It's hot! It's hot! Oh my God! I'm choking!

    She certainly was not choking. The coughing had stopped and she was now standing up and was putting her hands on her chest. I returned with a glass of water.

    SC: Oh my God! Oh my God!

    She drank the water and let out a huge sigh of relief.

    SC: I choked on your food! Your food is dangerous! How could you let that happen? I could have diiiiiiieeddd!
    Me: Maybe you should get your breath back. I'm sure you'll be OK.
    SC: Your chicken is dangerous! I swallowed it and it got stuck in my throat!
    Me: I'm very sorry that happened to you. Would you like to speak to a manager?

    I don't get paid to listen to that kind of crap anymore, so I'm always passing things off.

    SC: I don't need that! What I need is for your cooks to be aware that I nearly choked to death on their chicken! It was hot! I think I may have third degree burns in my throat!
    Me: OK, well if you need anything else, I'll be over there.

    Yep. She yelled at me because she didn't chew her food properly.
    Tags: None
  • #2
    When will folks learn to wait a couple of minutes for food to cool down instead of instantly attacking it like a rabid skunk in heat??

    Oh wait, forgot for a moment where I was . . .
    Human Resources - the adult version of "I'm telling Mom." - Agent Anthony "Tony" DiNozzo (NCIS)

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    • #3
      Yeah... if she had third degree burns in her throat she wouldn't be breathing, much less talking.

      (For those who often get confused on burn degrees like I do, Third Degree is the worst you can get.)
      My Writing Blog -Updated 05/06/2013
      It's so I can get ideas out of my head, I decided to put it in a blog in case people are bored or are curious as to the (many) things in progress.

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      • #4
        Hooray, a CRML post!!

        Perhaps you should have offered to pre-chew her food and spit it into her mouth like a baby bird? For a price, of course. Service like that costs extra.
        "Redheads have at least a 95% chance of being gorgeous. They're also concentrated evil." - Irv

        "This is all strange, uncharted territory and your hamster only has three legs." - Gravekeeper

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        • #5
          Quoth AmbrosiaWriter View Post
          Yeah... if she had third degree burns in her throat she wouldn't be breathing, much less talking.

          (For those who often get confused on burn degrees like I do, Third Degree is the worst you can get.)
          Technically true, but from what I've read, there is such a thing as 4th degree, which can cause death.

          Can we say drama queen? I think I can spell it in my sleep.
          Human Resources - the adult version of "I'm telling Mom." - Agent Anthony "Tony" DiNozzo (NCIS)

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          • #6
            Doesn't help that she confused "Too HOT" with "OMG, I'm CHOKING!" Oh, don't mind her, she was only saving her breath for complaining.
            If I make no sense, I apologize. I'm constantly interrupted by an actual toddler.

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            • #7
              Whenever CRML has the time to make a post, an angel starts weeping, because CRML usually only posts the really terrible tales of stupidity and/or entitlement and/or belligerence.

              Sucktomer was stupid and entitled and probably fishing for discount/comped meals.
              PWNADE(TM) - Serve up a glass today! | PWNZER - An act of pwnage so awesome, it's like the victim got hit by a tank.

              There are only Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse because I choose to walk!

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              • #8
                I've choked on my chicken plenty of times and you don't hear me complaining!
                To right the countless wrongs of our days... We shine this light of true redemption, that this place may become as paradise...Oh, what a wonderful world such would be...

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                • #9
                  Quoth Mr Hero View Post
                  I've choked on my chicken plenty of times and you don't hear me complaining!
                  Bad, bad Mr. Hero!
                  When you start at zero, everything's progress.

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                  • #10
                    As an interesting side note, I'd like to know how many people have been "killed" by chickens in this manner throughout human history, I'll bet it's quite an impressive number all things considered
                    - They say nothing good happens at 2AM, they're right, I happen at 2AM.

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                    • #11
                      Technically true, but from what I've read, there is such a thing as 4th degree, which can cause death.
                      OH GODS WHY!!!! Why did I click on that picture!?!

                      Ahem. But yes, Chicken lady was a drama queen; I'm sure some free stuff would have made her throat allllll better!
                      "If anyone wants this old box containing the broken bits of my former faith in humanity, I'll take your best offer now. You may be able to salvage a few of em' for parts..... " - Quote by Argabarga

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                      • #12
                        Generally speaking, if you can actually say the words, "I'm choking", you probably aren't.

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                        • #13
                          Quoth Mr Hero View Post
                          I've choked on my chicken plenty of times and you don't hear me complaining!
                          I'd managed to keep my mind out of the gutter for five whole minutes...
                          At the conclusion of an Irish wedding, the priest said "Everybody please hug the person who has made your life worth living. The bartender was nearly crushed to death.

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                          • #14
                            Quoth Monterey Jack View Post
                            Generally speaking, if you can actually say the words, "I'm choking", you probably aren't.
                            That's actually true and something they tell you when teaching first aid for choking, if the person in question can still spit/cough/talk on their own, they aren't choking and should be left alone because trying to help could make it worse, it's only when they can't do anything that you can be sure their airway has become blocked and safely heimlich away to your heart's content.
                            - They say nothing good happens at 2AM, they're right, I happen at 2AM.

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                            • #15
                              Quoth thatcrazyredhead View Post
                              Perhaps you should have offered to pre-chew her food and spit it into her mouth like a baby bird? For a price, of course. Service like that costs extra.
                              You're gonna get spoiled at Pre-Chew Charlie's tonight.

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