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I like my sparse posting, it means I'm just scary enough to the degenerates that they wont dare to mess with me.
I know I never mentioned it, but I designed a closed sign a while back using a piece of printer paper, a large black sharpie and a yellow highlighter which clearly in bold letters states "WE ARE CLOSED" (bold black outline filled in with highlighter). I inserted this into a clear stand-up sign holder which promptly finds it's home on our counter, on top of our menu once we close. People still approach the counter or worse, move the menu and attempt to order.
Over the weeks I still get people responding in disbelief or disappointment when I inform them of the obvious, the following are the few situations that stand out in my mind. By the way, we got cameras about a month back which have helped in terms of seeing if my cw is in need of help or checking for customers if they don't ring our bell, but remember this detail for later.
Leftovers
These people baffle me, when does a small kitchen that makes food to order ever have leftovers? It seems to me that I'm getting a rash of people recently that believe I do, hell, even tonight I had a guy ask me if I did. Every time, I repeat the same mantra, "We make everything to order, so unfortunately I don't." Maybe it should be, "Fortunately I knew you were going to ask me, so I ate it all ya jackass!" Better yet, I'd love to see the look on someone's face if I just threw the supposed leftovers into the trash and yelled "HAH, take that!"
The Drunk
It was saturday two weeks ago and we got slammed. Sent the last orders out approximately ten minutes after we officially shut down and promptly went outside for our "mandatory" closing smoke break. I got back in, spent five minutes gathering all the dishes, but while I was in the back some idiot was shouting up front and eventually whistled to try and get service (unless you've lost your dog, don't whistle for me!). I went to the office to see who was there and decided to make him wait for a minute before I deliberately sauntered my way to the front.
DG= Drunk Guy Me= The Man in Charge
Me: Hey there, you need something?
DG: I'm hungry, could I get something.
Me: I'm closed, but I could get you a soda, cookies or a pickle.
DG: You're closed? But I want to get some food.
Me: Well I've got everything shut off, so there's no possible way to make anything. *pointing to the fryers with their heating elements pulled up and the fryer baskets on top of the grill*
DG: Really, you can't give me anything?
Me: No I can't, I'm closed.
DG: But I'm hungry . . .
Me: I know.
DG: Just give me some bread and cheese, I have money.
Me: I can't do that.
Somewhere in there I did something I never do, I flashed him the pair of fangs my friend made for me and he didn't seem to notice. I'm fuzzy about what happened beyond that last line because I said no at least two more times before he finally left.
Credit Card Scammer
No dialogue here, just details about a man that I could only assume was also drunk. He called early in the evening claiming a discrepancy with a transaction at the grill, something about a fudge with a transaction and getting charged sixty-five dollars. He left his name, phone number, the time he was supposedly there and wanted a call from my boss. I got right on it, found his slip, which he added a two dollar tip to and I also noted the time on the transaction.
He claimed he was there between four and six, but the time was marked at around noon. I called the boss and went through about ten minutes of double-checking paperwork, printing copies of said paperwork and the receipts to prove that this man, was in fact, a lying sack of crap. To this day, I still see the note in the office as if my boss forgot about it and/or uses it as a reminder that there are still dishonest people out there.
Tipping
I hate to constantly gripe about people and their lack of tips, but we get shafted when we shouldn't. In my time cooking, I have learned that people spending a dollar or two on a soda will tip half, if not the full amount the soda costed, but people spending twenty five or more on an order will leave us with nothing. Not only that, but I've developed a certain disdain for church groups, because they never tip us. This includes the large church group that kicked our ass for two hours and not once said thank you (I hope they burn in hell).
If I haven't already used this quote before I'll use it again; from a regular of mine. "If you've got money for food, you've got money to tip."
Yep, I think that about covers it . . . until next time.
I know I never mentioned it, but I designed a closed sign a while back using a piece of printer paper, a large black sharpie and a yellow highlighter which clearly in bold letters states "WE ARE CLOSED" (bold black outline filled in with highlighter). I inserted this into a clear stand-up sign holder which promptly finds it's home on our counter, on top of our menu once we close. People still approach the counter or worse, move the menu and attempt to order.
Over the weeks I still get people responding in disbelief or disappointment when I inform them of the obvious, the following are the few situations that stand out in my mind. By the way, we got cameras about a month back which have helped in terms of seeing if my cw is in need of help or checking for customers if they don't ring our bell, but remember this detail for later.
Leftovers
These people baffle me, when does a small kitchen that makes food to order ever have leftovers? It seems to me that I'm getting a rash of people recently that believe I do, hell, even tonight I had a guy ask me if I did. Every time, I repeat the same mantra, "We make everything to order, so unfortunately I don't." Maybe it should be, "Fortunately I knew you were going to ask me, so I ate it all ya jackass!" Better yet, I'd love to see the look on someone's face if I just threw the supposed leftovers into the trash and yelled "HAH, take that!"
The Drunk
It was saturday two weeks ago and we got slammed. Sent the last orders out approximately ten minutes after we officially shut down and promptly went outside for our "mandatory" closing smoke break. I got back in, spent five minutes gathering all the dishes, but while I was in the back some idiot was shouting up front and eventually whistled to try and get service (unless you've lost your dog, don't whistle for me!). I went to the office to see who was there and decided to make him wait for a minute before I deliberately sauntered my way to the front.
DG= Drunk Guy Me= The Man in Charge
Me: Hey there, you need something?
DG: I'm hungry, could I get something.
Me: I'm closed, but I could get you a soda, cookies or a pickle.
DG: You're closed? But I want to get some food.
Me: Well I've got everything shut off, so there's no possible way to make anything. *pointing to the fryers with their heating elements pulled up and the fryer baskets on top of the grill*
DG: Really, you can't give me anything?
Me: No I can't, I'm closed.
DG: But I'm hungry . . .
Me: I know.
DG: Just give me some bread and cheese, I have money.
Me: I can't do that.
Somewhere in there I did something I never do, I flashed him the pair of fangs my friend made for me and he didn't seem to notice. I'm fuzzy about what happened beyond that last line because I said no at least two more times before he finally left.
Credit Card Scammer
No dialogue here, just details about a man that I could only assume was also drunk. He called early in the evening claiming a discrepancy with a transaction at the grill, something about a fudge with a transaction and getting charged sixty-five dollars. He left his name, phone number, the time he was supposedly there and wanted a call from my boss. I got right on it, found his slip, which he added a two dollar tip to and I also noted the time on the transaction.
He claimed he was there between four and six, but the time was marked at around noon. I called the boss and went through about ten minutes of double-checking paperwork, printing copies of said paperwork and the receipts to prove that this man, was in fact, a lying sack of crap. To this day, I still see the note in the office as if my boss forgot about it and/or uses it as a reminder that there are still dishonest people out there.
Tipping
I hate to constantly gripe about people and their lack of tips, but we get shafted when we shouldn't. In my time cooking, I have learned that people spending a dollar or two on a soda will tip half, if not the full amount the soda costed, but people spending twenty five or more on an order will leave us with nothing. Not only that, but I've developed a certain disdain for church groups, because they never tip us. This includes the large church group that kicked our ass for two hours and not once said thank you (I hope they burn in hell).
If I haven't already used this quote before I'll use it again; from a regular of mine. "If you've got money for food, you've got money to tip."
Yep, I think that about covers it . . . until next time.