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You, Good Sir, Need A Frickin' Life

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  • #1

    You, Good Sir, Need A Frickin' Life



    Another tale of woe from satellite tv tech support today:

    The other day a new customer calls up and he is just absolutely livid from the onset. I'm immediately alarmed; what could have upset this good sir so when he's only had our service for three days? Did our tech jack his kitty cat? Did his receiver explode? Did the satellite dish fall off the roof and hit his car/grandma/neighbor's roof? Nope...the nature of our crime was far more appalling.

    SC: You are showing filthy programming too early!
    MG5(moi): ? Sir? What programming are you referring to?
    SC: Sons of Anarchy! It's showing at 7:00 PM on the West Coast! 7PM!!!!
    MG5: Oh...I see. Well, sir, luckily we can easily block programs or channels with our easy to use parental -
    SC: I don't want to block it! I want to watch it!
    MG5: (but didn't you just call it filthy?) Um...alright then. What seems to be the problem?
    SC: Sons of Anarchy comes on at 10:00 PM! Ten PM, you idiots! I'm looking at the tv guide in my local paper and it says it RIGHT HERE!
    MG5: Oh, I see. We actually have a guide right on your receiver that can show you the correct times for -
    SC: TEN PM IS THE CORRECT TIME!!!!
    MG5: Actually, it's not with our service. It would show at 10pm on the East Coast, but you and I are on the West Coast so therefore -
    SC: (actually sputtering with rage) See?! SEE?! It's on at 10pm! It's supposed to be on at TEEEEENNN! I've always planned on watching it at 10pm! I planned my whole evening's lineup and now YOU'VE RUINED IT!
    MG5: *lightbulb* (he's a new customer, I'm thinking he must not understand how our equipment works. I'm about to bring him out of the dark ages into a fantastic new world of technology. Get ready, good sir, because I am about to BLOW YOUR MIND!) Oh, I understand. The great news is you have a dvr, and with a dvr you can actually record your programming! So even though it comes on at 7pm, you can actually watch it at t- "
    SC: I KNOW WHAT A DVR IS! DO YOU THINK I'M STUPID?!
    MG5: ......
    SC: THAT'S NOT THE POINT! THE POINT IS I WANT TO BE ABLE TO LOOK AT MY GUIDE IN MY NEWSPAPER AND WATCH SHOWS WHEN THEY ARE SUPPOSED TO BE ON AND SONS OF ANARCHY IS SUPPOSED TO BE ON AT 10PM!!! 10PM, DO YOU UNDERSTAND THAT? WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU SHOW IT AT EFFING 7PM?! ARE YOU TELLING ME THAT OTHER SHOWS THAT I USED TO WATCH AT 10PM MIGHT COME ON EARLIER AS WELL?! I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS - YOU ARE RUINING EVERYTHING!
    MG5: *at a complete loss* Well, um..
    SC: OH, NEVER MIND! I'M JUST GOING TO HAVE TO DECIDE IF I WANT TO KEEP YOUR HORRIBLE SERVICE AT ALL! *CLICK*
    MG5: What the fuck just happened?

    Seriously, I swear some people just sit at home on their couch, enraged at the fact that they have nothing to be enraged about. "I know, I'll make some random shit up! After all, this aneurysm I've been dying to have isn't going to just happen on it's own!"
    Tags: None
  • #2
    I hope he's not a football fan, or those 10 am kickoffs might just kill him.

    "The Customer Is Always Right...But The Bartender Decides Who Is     Still A Customer."

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    • #3
      Apparently he doesn't understand differences in time zones.

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      • #4
        Why would the guide in the paper list the EST times? Or does this person see both times?
        But the paint on me is beginning to dry
        And it's not what I wanted to be
        The weight on me
        Is Hanging on to a weary angel - Sister Hazel

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        • #5
          Maybe he just moved from the East Coast and brought a TV Guide from that area with him...? o_O

          As for people siting at home and making up crap to complain about -- It's my understanding that newspaper comic writers/artists get that a lot. I've seen a few book intros/commentaries from them ["For Better or For Worse" was one, iirc] that had some repeat writers, often including one or two people who would send in a multi-page letter every week, if not every day, complaining about *something* in the comic.
          "For a musician, the SNES sound engine is like using Crayola Crayons. Nobuo Uematsu used Crayola Crayons to paint the Sistine Chapel." - Jeremy Jahns (re: "Dancing Mad")
          "The difference between an amateur and a master is that the master has failed way more times." - JoCat
          "Thinking is difficult, therefore let the herd pronounce judgment!" ~ Carl Jung
          "There's burning bridges, and then there's the lake just to fill it with gasoline." - Wiccy, reddit
          "Retail is a cruel master, and could very well be the most educational time of many people's lives, in its own twisted way." - me
          "Love keeps her in the air when she oughta fall down...tell you she's hurtin' 'fore she keens...makes her a home." - Capt. Malcolm Reynolds, "Serenity" (2005)
          Acts of Gord – Read it, Learn it, Love it!
          "Our psychic powers only work if the customer has a mind to read." - me

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          • #6
            It's satellite TV. Therefore many of the stations tend to offer East and West Coast (as well as High Def now) alternatives. Or have in the past. It's very possible that the channel that Sons of Anarchy is on doesn't offer such a West Coast alternative, so it's purely done on Eastern time.

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            • #7
              Quoth mysticgirl5 View Post

              SC: Sons of Anarchy comes on at 10:00 PM! Ten PM, you idiots! I'm looking at the tv guide in my local paper and it says it RIGHT HERE!
              MG5: Oh, I see. We actually have a guide right on your receiver that can show you the correct times for -
              Sounds like some form of OCD. The local paper says it comes on at 10:00 PM so that's is when it is on. He's so angry that the guide he has followed for years is wrong now, because something has changed and nothing is *EVER* supposed to change.

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              • #8
                My first reaction was "First World Problems" with a vengeance. If this is the worst this guy has ever had to deal with, he needs to STFU.

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                • #9
                  Quoth Ophbalance View Post
                  Why would the guide in the paper list the EST times? Or does this person see both times?
                  I live in Mountain time zone and the only times shown in the TV Guide magazine are for Eastern and Central time zones. Makes life fun all the time.
                  Figers are vicious I tell ya. They crawl up your leg and steal your belly button lint.

                  I'm a case study.

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                  • #10
                    My mother has an answer to that kind of tantrum. "Sweetie, if you don't run outside and play right NOW, I will by all that is holy, take a hammer to whatever it is you are tantruming about."

                    That sounds like the perfect answer to this guy's problem, actually.
                    If I make no sense, I apologize. I'm constantly interrupted by an actual toddler.

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                    • #11
                      Raudf, your momma is brilliant!

                      I so have to remember that!

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                      • #12
                        Quoth gerund View Post
                        Sounds like some form of OCD. The local paper says it comes on at 10:00 PM so that's is when it is on. He's so angry that the guide he has followed for years is wrong now, because something has changed and nothing is *EVER* supposed to change.
                        That makes sense. I was just absolutely bewildered as to why he was having such a shit fit when he could record the show and watch it whenever he wanted. He could also use the built in guide on his tv rather than reading the paper where the times don't match ours. I guess OCD does not make allowances for common sense. (and SCs definitely don't make allowances for the use of common courtesy ).

                        A lot of our shows on the West Coast do show at the same time as the East Coast, whereas I guess other providers just show it at 10pm in whatever time zone it is. I think most of our customers prefer that, since they don't have to wait the extra three hours, hoping no one will inadvertently spoil their show in the meantime and blurt out that Glenn got eaten by zombies on The Walking Dead etc, etc. ( Kidding! He didn't! *yet* )

                        Raudf, I wish your mom could take some of my calls! I cannot believe how worked up grown adults get about their TV, and the huge tantrums they have over it. Damn people...read a frickin' book every once in a while, it'll do you some good!
                        Last edited by mysticgirl5; 10-16-2013, 09:14 AM.

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                        • #13
                          I haven't watched a TV episode "live" since I got a DVR over three years ago...in fact, I often let two or three episodes of a series build up before I watch them all in a mini-marathon.

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                          • #14
                            Alot of channels have East and West coast feeds that typically run on a 3 hour delay, Iit's possible his old Provider (cable tv?) was using the West coast feed, and he just stumbled on the East coast feed on the Satellite.

                            Normally satellite TV (and some cable providers) will display both feeds, with the East coast feed labeled with just the Network, and the West coast feed labeled something like "TNT-W" or something similar the Channel Guide. It's possible his old Provider (cable tv?) was using the west coast feed, and he just stumbled on the East coast feed on the Satellite.

                            Channels that don't have 2 feeds will rerun the block of prime time programming a second time to catch the West Coast "primetime", but if that was the case, I would think he would have realized that before hand.
                            Just sliding down the razor blade of life.

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                            • #15
                              A lot of the channels / shows I watch are three hours earlier than advertised. I just have to remember which ones and I can watch it at a reasonable hour. Personally, I like that feature (I don't have DVR).

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