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And never will....
People Who Don't Get it
You've decided to spend a jolly evening at your friend's apartment getting inebriated.
Okay, to be fair, I can't say for sure you were getting drunk, but, I think it's a reasonable assumption on my part. I mean, as we'll all soon see, your intelligence level demonstrates clearly that you probably weren't there to participate in a roundtable discussion on whether or not your average historian these days is, once again, giving way too much credit to the ancient Athenians.
Needless to say, you parked in that building's lot even though you don't have a permit for doing so. And several signs strewn about say that you do or you'll be ticketed and/or towed at your expense. But you parked there anyway.
When you come out at festivities end, you notice that the lot monitor who goes around checking the cars for permits has stuck one of his tickets on your windshield.
The front side of it has all your vehicle information, make, model, plate, time of ticket and violation (no permit displayed) and the amount of the fine, $15. This information is neatly printed out, as a sharp-eyed person can tell, on a mass-produced blank where a printing machine has filled in the relevant boxes with information. It's not one of those hand-written ones where you have to decipher bad penmanship or figure out which of those 50 near-microscopic tick-boxes have been checked off to know exactly what you did. It's fairly obvious.
The flip-side of the ticket has the statute in the vehicle code you have been ticketed under (Section 75, Vehicular trespass) and your options for paying the $15 (Mail a check, bill credit card, bill debit card, drop cash in apartment office rent box) and a warning that unpaid violations will be prosecuted. The envelope the ticket was in has the apartment address and phone number pre-printed on it and a "place stamp here" box so you can easily use it to mail in the money if you want to do that.
So, what do you do?
A. Concede that you should have parked elsewhere or gotten a temp permit, because now your lack of foresight has cost you $15 you could have used to buy a really interesting pair of socks
B. Grumble that once again the man (tm) is keeping you down by extorting $15 from you for no good reason other than you broke the law.
C. Call the municipal police department and report that our towing company is running a "scam" by issuing "fake" tickets and expecting people to fall for it and mail us their hard-earned cash.
Yeah, if you picked "C", you're the nitwit we had to deal with tonight.
Or rather, the confused-sounding police officer they pestered who then had to call us and get our side of the story (i.e. reality) so he could finish his paperwork and close out another one for the crackpot file.
According to him, there were several red flags they found that made them certain someone was trying to scam them. Apparently, the ticket didn't "look official" and the envelope was a "funny color" and furthermore, when they called the phone number for the apartment, nobody picked up! AHA! SCAM! SCAM! SCAM!
Well, that, or the fact that there's nobody in the apartment office at 11:58pm on a Saturday night? Which is when you got ticketed? That might have something to do with it? Or is that, like most conspiracy minded folks believe, just a bit tooooooooo straightforward to be the truth?
Why you even involved us, I have no idea, our name/number doesn't appear ANYWHERE on the ticket. It only appears on the signs in the lot. You tried to call party "A", and when they didn't pick up, you immediately pinned the blame on party "B", without even trying to talk to party "B" first, because.... well........ you know what? The "logic" required to reach where you're at right now is so twisted, that I think I'm in danger of spraining a frontal lobe just trying to imagine how you did it without bleeding from the ears... so we'll just leave it at that.
P.S. - It's too bad I couldn't be there when the nice officer called you back, as he said he would, to inform you that that ticket is in fact, VERY real and has to be paid.
Of course, there's always the possibility that you now think the cops are "in on it" too.....
People Who Don't Get It - II
Them - I think you have my car, a grey Mazda? It would have been parked at Keystone Plaza?
Us - Yes, we have it, it will be $220 to pick up
Them - What?! Why so high?
Us - You owe us $115 for the tow, plus, you have $105 in unpaid parking tickets
Them - Huh?
Us - You have $105 in unpaid delinquent tickets, and you were also parked at an unpaid parking meter.
Them - But I was only there for like 20 minutes! There's no way I could get $105 in tickets in 20 minutes!
Us - You didn't, the $105 is in unpaid tickets that go back to September
Them - But I put a quarter in the meter! I had 15 minutes!
Us - Didn't you just say you were there for 20 minutes?
Them - Uh
Us - So, that explains why you got towed, your meter ran out, and when they gave you a ticket, they noticed all the other ones you've been getting and not paying, so they towed you
Them - But.. I wasn't there for very long!
Us - Doesn't matter, it will be $220 to pick up the car
Them - Can I just pay for the tow? And not the tickets?
Us - ... ... ... Uh, no
Them - Fine, I'll be in tomorrow!
Yeah, she actually thought that would work, first the feigned clulessness, then the lying, then the attempt to "bargain" in a way that has absolutely no upside at all for us, and doesn't seem to be able to draw a simple causal relationship between NOT paying tickets and what I just did to her car about 30 minutes prior..... Yeah, that's a big negatory there sister. And by "Big" I mean that if it physically existed as big as I'm imagining it now, it would be influencing the tides.
P.S. - Thank you for backing into that parking space with a FWD car and leaving the e-brake off. I like it when you do that. You've heard of "gone in sixty seconds" right? Well, when you park like that, you can cut it down to about 15 if I'm really on my game.
People Who Don't Get It - III
A short note for once
DO NOT TOW CAR BORROWED
Well, it just got borrowed, again, by me! *yoink*
People Who Don't Get it
You've decided to spend a jolly evening at your friend's apartment getting inebriated.
Okay, to be fair, I can't say for sure you were getting drunk, but, I think it's a reasonable assumption on my part. I mean, as we'll all soon see, your intelligence level demonstrates clearly that you probably weren't there to participate in a roundtable discussion on whether or not your average historian these days is, once again, giving way too much credit to the ancient Athenians.
Needless to say, you parked in that building's lot even though you don't have a permit for doing so. And several signs strewn about say that you do or you'll be ticketed and/or towed at your expense. But you parked there anyway.
When you come out at festivities end, you notice that the lot monitor who goes around checking the cars for permits has stuck one of his tickets on your windshield.
The front side of it has all your vehicle information, make, model, plate, time of ticket and violation (no permit displayed) and the amount of the fine, $15. This information is neatly printed out, as a sharp-eyed person can tell, on a mass-produced blank where a printing machine has filled in the relevant boxes with information. It's not one of those hand-written ones where you have to decipher bad penmanship or figure out which of those 50 near-microscopic tick-boxes have been checked off to know exactly what you did. It's fairly obvious.
The flip-side of the ticket has the statute in the vehicle code you have been ticketed under (Section 75, Vehicular trespass) and your options for paying the $15 (Mail a check, bill credit card, bill debit card, drop cash in apartment office rent box) and a warning that unpaid violations will be prosecuted. The envelope the ticket was in has the apartment address and phone number pre-printed on it and a "place stamp here" box so you can easily use it to mail in the money if you want to do that.
So, what do you do?
A. Concede that you should have parked elsewhere or gotten a temp permit, because now your lack of foresight has cost you $15 you could have used to buy a really interesting pair of socks
B. Grumble that once again the man (tm) is keeping you down by extorting $15 from you for no good reason other than you broke the law.
C. Call the municipal police department and report that our towing company is running a "scam" by issuing "fake" tickets and expecting people to fall for it and mail us their hard-earned cash.
Yeah, if you picked "C", you're the nitwit we had to deal with tonight.
Or rather, the confused-sounding police officer they pestered who then had to call us and get our side of the story (i.e. reality) so he could finish his paperwork and close out another one for the crackpot file.
According to him, there were several red flags they found that made them certain someone was trying to scam them. Apparently, the ticket didn't "look official" and the envelope was a "funny color" and furthermore, when they called the phone number for the apartment, nobody picked up! AHA! SCAM! SCAM! SCAM!
Well, that, or the fact that there's nobody in the apartment office at 11:58pm on a Saturday night? Which is when you got ticketed? That might have something to do with it? Or is that, like most conspiracy minded folks believe, just a bit tooooooooo straightforward to be the truth?
Why you even involved us, I have no idea, our name/number doesn't appear ANYWHERE on the ticket. It only appears on the signs in the lot. You tried to call party "A", and when they didn't pick up, you immediately pinned the blame on party "B", without even trying to talk to party "B" first, because.... well........ you know what? The "logic" required to reach where you're at right now is so twisted, that I think I'm in danger of spraining a frontal lobe just trying to imagine how you did it without bleeding from the ears... so we'll just leave it at that.
P.S. - It's too bad I couldn't be there when the nice officer called you back, as he said he would, to inform you that that ticket is in fact, VERY real and has to be paid.
Of course, there's always the possibility that you now think the cops are "in on it" too.....
People Who Don't Get It - II
Them - I think you have my car, a grey Mazda? It would have been parked at Keystone Plaza?
Us - Yes, we have it, it will be $220 to pick up
Them - What?! Why so high?
Us - You owe us $115 for the tow, plus, you have $105 in unpaid parking tickets
Them - Huh?
Us - You have $105 in unpaid delinquent tickets, and you were also parked at an unpaid parking meter.
Them - But I was only there for like 20 minutes! There's no way I could get $105 in tickets in 20 minutes!
Us - You didn't, the $105 is in unpaid tickets that go back to September
Them - But I put a quarter in the meter! I had 15 minutes!
Us - Didn't you just say you were there for 20 minutes?
Them - Uh
Us - So, that explains why you got towed, your meter ran out, and when they gave you a ticket, they noticed all the other ones you've been getting and not paying, so they towed you
Them - But.. I wasn't there for very long!
Us - Doesn't matter, it will be $220 to pick up the car
Them - Can I just pay for the tow? And not the tickets?
Us - ... ... ... Uh, no
Them - Fine, I'll be in tomorrow!
Yeah, she actually thought that would work, first the feigned clulessness, then the lying, then the attempt to "bargain" in a way that has absolutely no upside at all for us, and doesn't seem to be able to draw a simple causal relationship between NOT paying tickets and what I just did to her car about 30 minutes prior..... Yeah, that's a big negatory there sister. And by "Big" I mean that if it physically existed as big as I'm imagining it now, it would be influencing the tides.
P.S. - Thank you for backing into that parking space with a FWD car and leaving the e-brake off. I like it when you do that. You've heard of "gone in sixty seconds" right? Well, when you park like that, you can cut it down to about 15 if I'm really on my game.
People Who Don't Get It - III
A short note for once
DO NOT TOW CAR BORROWED
Well, it just got borrowed, again, by me! *yoink*
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