Tweet
Something from my days of managing a Subway sandwich shop eons ago:
I had a closer, we'll call him 'M'. Excellent employee, always very meticulous in cleaning up, nice to the customers, model employee. I felt bad that we couldnt give him bigger raises. He always worked the closing shifts on Fri/Sat/Sun night. Our store was right next to the new jail that had been built, and we were the only really healthy food in 10 miles, so we got to know all of the police officers pretty well (this is important later).
I get a call at home at 1am Sunday morning from a friend of mine. He can barely contain himself laughing, and says I need to get up to the store right now, M has been in an 'incident'. Im very confused at this point, because 'incident' usually means we got robbed, and why the hell would that be funny?
So I make about Mach 5 up to the store and find two police cars, the store closed down, most of the lights off, and M and my friend there with three officers, chuckling and chatting. The conversation goes like this:
Officer1: UncleImpy, sorry to get you out of bed, but there's been some damage to the store, and your employee was assaulted.
Me; *blinks and looks at M. He looks fine. Amused, even* What?? What happened??
Officer1: Maybe you should see the tape.
So we head into the back and watch the security video. Apparently, M had had a couple of latelate customers, 3 high-school-age kids that were already acting pretty drunk. They each ordered a sandwich and sat down to chow, occassionally throwing rather a$$hattish comments at M (He's Turkish, you can imagine the insults they were throwing). Let me restate that M is a /really/ nice guy. He just ignored them and kept cleaning and getting ready to close down. The trio finally get up to leave. Imagine watching this on the video:
The three head for the door, the last in line still has half of his sandwich in hand. M is behind the counter cleaning up. A$$hat with sandwich THROWS it at M. Lobs it over the sneeze-shields. Somehow, M reacts, catches it before it hits anything, and throws it BACK at a$$hat, hard. Hits him in the head where it just explodes in veggies, meat, dressing...just, everywhere. A$$hat snarls and attempts to jump the counter, where he fails miserably, succeeding only in shattering the sneeze guards (they were apparently more drunk than they looked). M lunges over and hits the silent alarm button. The other two see M's move, know what it means, and drags their friend out of the store, where they speed off.
This all happened in the span of like...10 seconds. We replay it again and I suppose my look of shock was priceless. M just shrugged, smiled, and murmured, "Guess a (one of the insults they threw at him) can throw more accurately than they can, huh?"
The trio were finally caught and arrested for public intoxication and vandalism. I think M is lucky he didn't get into trouble for retaliating, but I have to tell you...we kept that tape for years. Fell out of my chair every time we watched it.
Just had to share, after all the fun I've had reading yours.
I had a closer, we'll call him 'M'. Excellent employee, always very meticulous in cleaning up, nice to the customers, model employee. I felt bad that we couldnt give him bigger raises. He always worked the closing shifts on Fri/Sat/Sun night. Our store was right next to the new jail that had been built, and we were the only really healthy food in 10 miles, so we got to know all of the police officers pretty well (this is important later).
I get a call at home at 1am Sunday morning from a friend of mine. He can barely contain himself laughing, and says I need to get up to the store right now, M has been in an 'incident'. Im very confused at this point, because 'incident' usually means we got robbed, and why the hell would that be funny?
So I make about Mach 5 up to the store and find two police cars, the store closed down, most of the lights off, and M and my friend there with three officers, chuckling and chatting. The conversation goes like this:
Officer1: UncleImpy, sorry to get you out of bed, but there's been some damage to the store, and your employee was assaulted.
Me; *blinks and looks at M. He looks fine. Amused, even* What?? What happened??
Officer1: Maybe you should see the tape.
So we head into the back and watch the security video. Apparently, M had had a couple of latelate customers, 3 high-school-age kids that were already acting pretty drunk. They each ordered a sandwich and sat down to chow, occassionally throwing rather a$$hattish comments at M (He's Turkish, you can imagine the insults they were throwing). Let me restate that M is a /really/ nice guy. He just ignored them and kept cleaning and getting ready to close down. The trio finally get up to leave. Imagine watching this on the video:
The three head for the door, the last in line still has half of his sandwich in hand. M is behind the counter cleaning up. A$$hat with sandwich THROWS it at M. Lobs it over the sneeze-shields. Somehow, M reacts, catches it before it hits anything, and throws it BACK at a$$hat, hard. Hits him in the head where it just explodes in veggies, meat, dressing...just, everywhere. A$$hat snarls and attempts to jump the counter, where he fails miserably, succeeding only in shattering the sneeze guards (they were apparently more drunk than they looked). M lunges over and hits the silent alarm button. The other two see M's move, know what it means, and drags their friend out of the store, where they speed off.
This all happened in the span of like...10 seconds. We replay it again and I suppose my look of shock was priceless. M just shrugged, smiled, and murmured, "Guess a (one of the insults they threw at him) can throw more accurately than they can, huh?"
The trio were finally caught and arrested for public intoxication and vandalism. I think M is lucky he didn't get into trouble for retaliating, but I have to tell you...we kept that tape for years. Fell out of my chair every time we watched it.
Just had to share, after all the fun I've had reading yours.
Comment