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  • #1

    SC's Turned Stalker

    As an attendant in a gas station, and a representative of customer service, it is my "JOB" to be "nice" to the customers. Well after a few moments of "being nice" to one of our male customers he decided to ask for my number, without asking for my name. (I refuse to wear my name tag because too many guys have taken too long to "read my name." Also, somehow this makes them think "they know you.") Well in my neighborhood, asking for "numbers" is codes for "one night stand." (no thanks, I'm old fashioned.) So, I told the guy "I don't want your number, I won't give you mine, and I will never call you." Any logical person would see this as "No, no, and no!"

    Well this clever creepo, after trying to pick me up a few more times, takes it upon himself to find out where I live! I don't really understand how being "nice" to the customer makes us an "item" (especially after being refused) but I've told him I won't give him my number, I've tried avoiding him, and I've even tried getting him off the property. Well he showed up again yesterday, and my mother chased him off the property too. He actually told her that "I was his friend." HOW?! Like I said before, I'm not even that good looking!! Well now I'm calling the cops, and one of my good customers told me to get a gun. I mean really! I would rather an SC was mean to me than go through this over and over! But when your not "nice" to an SC you get in trouble, or get complaints! What am I doing wrong?!
    “I myself have never been able to find out precisely what feminism is: I only know that people call me a feminist whenever I express sentiments that differentiate me from a doormat.”
    ― Rebecca West
    Tags: convenience store, customer, gas station, sucky customers
  • #2
    Quoth pinky View Post
    What am I doing wrong?!
    Sounds like you're not doing anything wrong -- he's just a creepy stalker. Avoid him like the plague, refuse to serve him if you have that option -- heck, ask CW's to literally say "She said to tell you she's not here" if he asks! Keep an eye out whenever possible to make sure you're never alone with him, and ask co-workers and managers to do the same, making sure they know you want nothing to do with this guy, and to be prepared to call the cops if need be.
    "For a musician, the SNES sound engine is like using Crayola Crayons. Nobuo Uematsu used Crayola Crayons to paint the Sistine Chapel." - Jeremy Jahns (re: "Dancing Mad")
    "The difference between an amateur and a master is that the master has failed way more times." - JoCat
    "Thinking is difficult, therefore let the herd pronounce judgment!" ~ Carl Jung
    "There's burning bridges, and then there's the lake just to fill it with gasoline." - Wiccy, reddit
    "Retail is a cruel master, and could very well be the most educational time of many people's lives, in its own twisted way." - me
    "Love keeps her in the air when she oughta fall down...tell you she's hurtin' 'fore she keens...makes her a home." - Capt. Malcolm Reynolds, "Serenity" (2005)
    Acts of Gord – Read it, Learn it, Love it!
    "Our psychic powers only work if the customer has a mind to read." - me

    Comment

    • #3
      Quoth EricKei View Post
      Sounds like you're not doing anything wrong -- he's just a creepy stalker. Avoid him like the plague, refuse to serve him if you have that option -- heck, ask CW's to literally say "She said to tell you she's not here" if he asks! Keep an eye out whenever possible to make sure you're never alone with him, and ask co-workers and managers to do the same, making sure they know you want nothing to do with this guy, and to be prepared to call the cops if need be.
      Better suggestion is ask CW's to literally say "She's not here." Not "She said to tell you she's not here." Because that implies that you are there and he might just decide to go looking for you.
      PWNADE(TM) - Serve up a glass today! | PWNZER - An act of pwnage so awesome, it's like the victim got hit by a tank.

      There are only Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse because I choose to walk!

      Comment

      • #4
        File a report with the police. If he keeps this up you will need it to get an order of protection. I'm not even kidding. He turned up at your house and had to be chased away. File it.

        Also, if you can find out how he got your address, you might need to have a little talk with whoever gave it to him.
        When you start at zero, everything's progress.

        Comment

        • #5
          Quoth MoonCat View Post
          File a report with the police. If he keeps this up you will need it to get an order of protection. I'm not even kidding. He turned up at your house and had to be chased away. File it.

          Also, if you can find out how he got your address, you might need to have a little talk with whoever gave it to him.
          Agree w/ everything MoonCat said plus once you find out who gave the jerk off your address smack him/her upside the head w/ a clue x four.
          Figers are vicious I tell ya. They crawl up your leg and steal your belly button lint.

          I'm a case study.

          Comment

          • #6
            Thirded.

            Police. NOW. And contact legal aid, AND whichever persons/organisations provide support for victims of stalkers in your area.

            NOW.

            Before you find yourself desperately searching for them.


            Also, keep your cellphone in your pocket at work, despite whatever rules there may be, with emergency available on speed dial. If you currently have a smart-phone that has no easy way to make emergency available with just a couple of button presses, get hold of an old button-type phone and make it JUST connected enough to call emergency, and no more.

            If he becomes a stalker (and he IS one) with no more encouragement than that, I'm worried how little it will take for him to move to the next step.


            Edit to add: Remember, all emergency dispatch calls are recorded, and AFAIK, are admissible in court. (check that with legal aid.) An emergency dispatch call which includes you obviously telling the creep his attentions are unwanted could tip the balance in court.

            Basically, he comes in, you tell him to leave, he doesn't, you slip your hand in your pocket and call emergency. You tell him again to leave or you're calling the police. He again doesn't, and starts saying whatever he usually says. You tell him 'No. I'm not interested in you. I never have been. You used to be a customer. You are now a trespasser. Get. The. Hell. Out. Of. My. Store.' If he still doesn't, pull the phone out of your pocket, make a show of pressing the relevent buttons, and now start obviously talking to dispatch.

            If legal aid suggests an exact phrasing to use, use that.
            Last edited by Seshat; 12-18-2013, 05:16 AM.
            Seshat's self-help guide:
            1. Would you rather be right, or get the result you want?
            2. If you're consistently getting results you don't want, change what you do.
            3. Deal with the situation you have now, however it occurred.
            4. Accept the consequences of your decisions.

            "All I want is a pretty girl, a decent meal, and the right to shoot lightning at fools." - Anders, Dragon Age.

            Comment

            • #7
              I second all of the things said here already. As someone who also works in a gas station, Never, ever be scared to call the police to your store at anytime. If this creep has started following you to your home, next time he's there call THEM don't have someone chase him off. Tell him to go, or have someone else do it, then call the cops right away. Because once you tell him leave (either at home or in your store) he's trespassing. Every time the police have to come out about him a report is made, with his name connected too it.

              Talk to your boss as well, make sure they and your CWs aren't telling him when you work next, find out if there's any way to get him banned from the property, because if so then you don't even have to tell him to leave, just call the cops.

              Most of all be careful, be rude and short with him, don't even be a little friendly that could encourage him. But be careful, if he's followed you home who knows what else he's willing to do.

              Comment

              • #8
                J2K - Good point -- I should have clarified that I meant "If he asks after he already spotted you during a visit".
                "For a musician, the SNES sound engine is like using Crayola Crayons. Nobuo Uematsu used Crayola Crayons to paint the Sistine Chapel." - Jeremy Jahns (re: "Dancing Mad")
                "The difference between an amateur and a master is that the master has failed way more times." - JoCat
                "Thinking is difficult, therefore let the herd pronounce judgment!" ~ Carl Jung
                "There's burning bridges, and then there's the lake just to fill it with gasoline." - Wiccy, reddit
                "Retail is a cruel master, and could very well be the most educational time of many people's lives, in its own twisted way." - me
                "Love keeps her in the air when she oughta fall down...tell you she's hurtin' 'fore she keens...makes her a home." - Capt. Malcolm Reynolds, "Serenity" (2005)
                Acts of Gord – Read it, Learn it, Love it!
                "Our psychic powers only work if the customer has a mind to read." - me

                Comment

                • #9
                  Quoth Seshat View Post
                  If you currently have a smart-phone that has no easy way to make emergency available with just a couple of button presses, get hold of an old button-type phone and make it JUST connected enough to call emergency, and no more.
                  At least in the US, all cell phones are capable of dialing 911 even if they are not in service. So an old out-of-service phone would work well for this, as long as you keep it charged.
                  Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

                  Comment

                  • #10
                    Make sure all your family members know to call 911 immediately if he shows up at your house even if you're not there at the time.
                    Be Nicer To Retail Workers 2K18, also known as: stop being an incredibly shitty human to people just doing their job.

                    Comment

                    • #11
                      Quoth bhskittykatt View Post
                      At least in the US, all cell phones are capable of dialing 911 even if they are not in service. So an old out-of-service phone would work well for this, as long as you keep it charged.
                      Not necessarily. I'm in Canada, but the same situation may apply in the U.S. Around 5 years ago, the major cellphone carriers discontinued their analog networks (got a "we'll send you a free replacement phone" letter for my old pay-as-you go phone - I had already switched to a subscription plan with a digital phone), so an analog phone WILL NOT be capable of dialing 911. If you get an old out-of-service phone, make sure it's one that's still supported by the networks before you rely on it.
                      Any fool can piss on the floor. It takes a talented SC to shit on the ceiling.

                      Comment

                      • #12
                        911 calls are absolutely freakin' admissible in court. They are a public record.

                        If you call 911 because shit is going down, you are well within your rights to request a copy of the 911 call. You may have to transcribe it yourself.

                        Get thee an order of protection . . . now.

                        The gun's a personal choice, but you won't be allowed to have it at work or in your car unless you have a CCP, so I find it an impractical solution. Just my two cents; no Fratching please.
                        They say that God only gives us what we can handle. Apparently, God thinks I'm a bad ass.

                        Comment

                        • #13
                          If your boss doesn't already have a panic button installed, ask for one.

                          If you don't already have a safety-screen-protected area at work, see if you can get one. (Don't get fired for asking for something expensive, though.)

                          Discuss personal safety options with an understanding police officer, or some other personal safety professional: the shelters or stalkee-support groups may be able to recommend someone. Legal aid might be able to recommend someone.

                          MOD HAT:
                          Personal safety techniques, sadly, often lead to Fratching-worthy comments and discussions. As in, it can get really, really nasty.

                          Let's try to leave the gun/mace/taser/etc debate out of it; let Pinky talk to her local experts and make up her own mind about the contentious techniques.
                          Seshat's self-help guide:
                          1. Would you rather be right, or get the result you want?
                          2. If you're consistently getting results you don't want, change what you do.
                          3. Deal with the situation you have now, however it occurred.
                          4. Accept the consequences of your decisions.

                          "All I want is a pretty girl, a decent meal, and the right to shoot lightning at fools." - Anders, Dragon Age.

                          Comment

                          • #14
                            I add a suggestion to avoid going out by yourself as much as possible. Find a friend or family member to go with you on errands. This way if the creeper spots you and starts in, you have a witness and a back up for dialing 911 if something happens to render you unable to.
                            If I make no sense, I apologize. I'm constantly interrupted by an actual toddler.

                            Comment

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