How much is too much?? (Pretty much the best story ever)

[F**kYouForCalling]

Are you kidding me?


Me: "Thank you for calling bank, this is me. What can I do for you today?
SC: "yeah my card's not working and I don't know why."
Me: "(first logical question) Ok, how much are you trying to use it for?"
SC: " I'm trying to make a purchase..."
Me: "(I didn't ask you WHAT you were trying to use it for... ya jackass.) Right....for how much?"
SC: "$500"
Me: "Ok sir, well I see here that you only have $490.65 in your account."
SC: "Ok... so why isn't it working then?"
Me: (le sigh) "Well, because you only have $490.65 in your account sir."
SC: "So it should work then..."
Me: (*looks at DOB*....1989, he should be able to do the math..) "Not if you're trying to run it for $500... no."
SC: "OOOOHHH.... so there's something wrong with my card then?"
Me: (Are you fucking kidding me?) "No sir, there isn't anything wrong with your card, but you only have $490.65 in your account and you are trying to run it for $500.... which is MORE money then you have in your account."
SC: "So I don't see why its not working then if there isn't anything wrong with my card.."
Me: (Let me break it down kindergarten style) "Well sir, you can't spend more money then you have. If you have less then $500 in your account then it isn't going to let you use your card for $500. Now, your card will work if you use it for $490.65 or LESS....you cannot use your card for more money then you have in your account, or it will not work. By running your card for $500, you are trying to spend more money then you actually have, therefor, its going to decline your card."
SC: "Ok.....sooo? I still don't....."
Me:

So... this went on for 10 straight minutes. It took him 10 minutes to understand WHY his card was being declined. And after 10 minutes it was "OOOH... ok... so I only have $490 bux?".....DING DING DING DING DING!!!!!!!!!
Let me also point out that the first 10 minutes were spent explaining this.. and only this, and at no time did I ask what he was trying to purchase or why he needed to use his card for $500... and I didn't look to see, because..well...I didn't care, and I just wanted to get him off of the phone... the rest of the conversation went as follows...

SC: "OOOH...ok...so I only have $490 bux?"
Me: "EXACTLY!"
SC: "ok.... well see what had happened was...*gets really quiet, almost to a whisper*.. I was trying to.. well... ya know those numbers that you call and they have like... the girls on the other end?"
Me: "...uh." (ok, NOW I look to see what he is trying to use his card for)
SC: "*whispers* Ya know.. like... the girls that talk dirty to u? Like... phone sex."
Me: "...uh..huh..."
SC: "Yeah well u know.. its like $1.99 a minute and...well....yeah I was on there for like... a really long time...and now I can't pay for it.."
Me: "...k."
SC: "Alright well... thanks for your help... I guess I'll have to deposit some more money in my account."
Me: "Yes sir.. was there anything else I could do for you?"
SC: "no"
Me: "Thank you for calling, have a great day."
SC: *hangs up*
Me: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! OMG YOU GUYS HAVE GOT TO SEE THIS!!!

Every transaction on his account... every one.. not just here and there... ALL of them...were phone sex... and they were ALL for over $100.

That's one sad sad little man.

[IlovemyGeek]

Cue the bad porn music: Bow Chica Bow Bow

[MrSunshineState]

Good to see you made it over!

[Boozy]

I gotta tell you, the thread title was maybe over-selling it a bit, but still...

That was just freakin' hilarious. That may have been the stupidest SC I've heard of.

[Jester]

That may have been the stupidest SC I've heard of.

Upstairs Man.
Ghetto Superstar.
Vinegar Boy.
Wheelbarrow Man.
Lawnmower Man.
Grill In The Truck Lady.

That dude was dumb, but I'll stack the true legends against him any day of the week.

[F**kYouForCalling]

I gotta tell you, the thread title was maybe over-selling it a bit, but still...

Yeah... maybe I should've said best sc story that I've ever had....

I thought it was hilarious that he voluntarily told me this... and then whispered like he was embarrassed...wtf?

[Gurndigarn]

I thought it was hilarious that he voluntarily told me this... and then whispered like he was embarrassed...wtf?

Yeah, well, if he can run up over a hundred bucks per call, he's got a reason to be embarrased... damn, dude, move to Nevada/Netherlands. Get your itch scratched cheaper, easier, faster, and better quality.

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

It used to be that when you couldn't pay your bill at a restaurant, they made you wash dishes until you made enough to pay your bill.

I guess if you don't pay for your phone sex fix, they make you talk dirty to horny little old ladies?

Or they make you go to the phone sex place and do the douches

Thank you thank you, I'll be here all week! Be sure to tip your servers, they're workin' hard for ya!

[BookstoreEscapee]

Oh..dog...this may be..my....last...post....head...exploding...brain matter...all.....over ...screen....

[slumps in chair while cats come to bat about scattered strands of hair]

[Gawdzillers]

He was on for 250 minutes?
He's quite the phone-lover.

[bigjimaz]

Yeah, well, if he can run up over a hundred bucks per call, he's got a reason to be embarrased... damn, dude, move to Nevada/Netherlands. Get your itch scratched cheaper, easier, faster, and better quality.

Better yet, get a girlfriend.

I wonder if the people at the phone sex place know he is just 16 or at most 17?

[Jinxy]

I'd bet good money that they wouldn't care as long as there was a valid credit card paying for everything.

Jinxy

[Jester]

You really think he is only that old?

I got a fiver says he is an adult, over 21. Because trust me, my friend, not all people like that are young and inexperienced. Some people are just, by nature, pathetic.

[thegiraffe]

Jester, the OP said that his birthdate on the account is 1989. That would make him 16 or 17, depending on his birthday.

*Takes the five and runs*

[F**kYouForCalling]

To clear up the confusion... he was 18. lol