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I must say that while I hate retail, I look forward to funny and WTF stories here, but am glad to be able to share recent ones from retail hell.
For Five Dollars, He'll Be Back: Guy has a small, cute dog in his cart. Now we've just started cracking down on people bringing dogs in the store, unless of course they're service dogs. I kindly point out to him that the managers have started cracking down on this and that only service dogs will be permitted in the future.
SC: "That's BS! Tell the manager that he can kiss my ass. You tell him that."
Me: "Eh, I'm not gonna tell him that."
SC: "And I'm going to Home Depot from now on. They love him there and they'll let me in. I'm not shopping here anymore!"
Me: (SC goes to pay with a gift card. Thankfully it has a balance of five dollars and change. I write the amount on the back of it, then go to hand it to him like I would any customer, but I realize something and pause) "Wait, um... do.. you want this at all?"
SC: "Of course! Why wouldn't I?"
Me: "Well, you just said you were not going to shop here anymore. You said you were going to Home Depot.."
SC: "... well.. erm, uh... I'll take the card..."
PWNED!!!
Here's Cousin Larry Appleton: Guy gets two flexible plumbing pipes. There's no UPC code on either of them. However, I do find an item number. I type that in, and it comes up at a disturbing $40. So I ask "Are you sure there aren't $40?"
SC: Yeah, haha. They were in a bag full of other ones, but it was open..
(Obviously it was meant to be sold as a pack, not individually. Yet, we have individual flexible plumbing pipes widely available for sale.)
Me: "Ah, that's it. They're sold as a pack then, so I can't sell them individually.
SC: "okay..."
Me: "....so did you want to go back and get two regular pipes with a tag on them?"
SC: "..."
Me: "..."
Sc: ".... ..."
Me: "okay then, If you really wanna pay full price for a bag of them and only get two..."
SC: "(sighs) Don't be Ridiculous! (walks back to get what I suggested).
The Guy that Made My Night He comes in with a plunger and a hair removal tool for drains. Being that the temps have been in the single digits earlier in the week, and a lot of people's homes have frozen/busted pipes, I say, "better this than new pipes and blowtorches, huh?"
Guy: "Ugh, yeah. This is from my grandkids though."
Me: "Grandkids?"
Guy: "Yeah, my grandson clogs up the toilet most of the time he's over. He's 6 feet tall.."
Me: "Heh, you should just tell him 'let's go over to your place instead.. haha"
SC: hmph.. he's a POWER SH***ER.."
Me:
Guy: (shakes head constantly) "Every time we have to deal with this stuff.."
Me: "You know, sir... we have wood to construct a catapult too.. haha"
Guy: "I may just send him over to the nearby woods..."
For Five Dollars, He'll Be Back: Guy has a small, cute dog in his cart. Now we've just started cracking down on people bringing dogs in the store, unless of course they're service dogs. I kindly point out to him that the managers have started cracking down on this and that only service dogs will be permitted in the future.
SC: "That's BS! Tell the manager that he can kiss my ass. You tell him that."
Me: "Eh, I'm not gonna tell him that."
SC: "And I'm going to Home Depot from now on. They love him there and they'll let me in. I'm not shopping here anymore!"
Me: (SC goes to pay with a gift card. Thankfully it has a balance of five dollars and change. I write the amount on the back of it, then go to hand it to him like I would any customer, but I realize something and pause) "Wait, um... do.. you want this at all?"
SC: "Of course! Why wouldn't I?"
Me: "Well, you just said you were not going to shop here anymore. You said you were going to Home Depot.."
SC: "... well.. erm, uh... I'll take the card..."
PWNED!!!
Here's Cousin Larry Appleton: Guy gets two flexible plumbing pipes. There's no UPC code on either of them. However, I do find an item number. I type that in, and it comes up at a disturbing $40. So I ask "Are you sure there aren't $40?"
SC: Yeah, haha. They were in a bag full of other ones, but it was open..
(Obviously it was meant to be sold as a pack, not individually. Yet, we have individual flexible plumbing pipes widely available for sale.)
Me: "Ah, that's it. They're sold as a pack then, so I can't sell them individually.
SC: "okay..."
Me: "....so did you want to go back and get two regular pipes with a tag on them?"
SC: "..."
Me: "..."
Sc: ".... ..."
Me: "okay then, If you really wanna pay full price for a bag of them and only get two..."
SC: "(sighs) Don't be Ridiculous! (walks back to get what I suggested).
The Guy that Made My Night He comes in with a plunger and a hair removal tool for drains. Being that the temps have been in the single digits earlier in the week, and a lot of people's homes have frozen/busted pipes, I say, "better this than new pipes and blowtorches, huh?"
Guy: "Ugh, yeah. This is from my grandkids though."
Me: "Grandkids?"
Guy: "Yeah, my grandson clogs up the toilet most of the time he's over. He's 6 feet tall.."
Me: "Heh, you should just tell him 'let's go over to your place instead.. haha"
SC: hmph.. he's a POWER SH***ER.."
Me:
Guy: (shakes head constantly) "Every time we have to deal with this stuff.."
Me:
"You know, sir... we have wood to construct a catapult too.. haha"Guy: "I may just send him over to the nearby woods..."
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