You have a penis, so you can't help me.

[fireheart]

I'm lucky in this regard...while the number of female staff outweigh the male ones at the company I work for, the ones I do know so far have not had an accusation levelled against them. I think a few factors work in their favour:

1) They tend to bond with the older boys easily, many of whom do not want to be in an after-school care program. (and who will not listen to the female staff!) My current coordinator also gives a crap about the welfare of the older kids.

2) All the company policies are unisex. That is, at my main site, if we're doing a toilet run and there's only one child that needs to go, we take another child with us. Doesn't matter WHO is doing the run, we have two kids at all times. (and this is more for general safety-we have 3 regular male staff at the site, plus there's another 3-4 that I'm aware of around the state)

3) Staff can work at any number of sites around the state/country, so if there's one site that suddenly has the whole "ZOMG MALE EDUCATOR ON SITE" paranoia, said (innocent!) male can be shifted to another site nearby that doesn't deal with that bullcrap.

4) The only times we're likely to be in a "compromising position" are first-aid related and/or soiled clothing. In the case of the latter, the kid dresses themselves while we wait outside.

[Gizmo]

At my church, I teach young children (6 and 7 years old). Because I'm male, there's another teacher there with me for the same reasons: to protect each other from false accusations.

We were saying this about a social group I'm part of. If there is any reason we need to wander and there may well be kids about then we'd make sure a man and a woman would go together to allay any suspicion or potential claims....

[jedimaster91]

At my church, I teach young children (6 and 7 years old). Because I'm male, there's another teacher there with me for the same reasons: to protect each other from false accusations.

When I was a Den Leader for Cub Scouts, we always had to have at least 2 adults present (the only exception being a parent could be alone with their child). I wish I had another teacher with me for the 8-9 year old Sunday School class I teach. Not because I'm worried about false accusations, but because they're a wild bunch and Sundays usually end with me wanting to strangle at least one of them.

[Jetfire]

In regards to the story of Seshat's brother, I have a supporting story from an ex-flat mate, C.

Back in 1989 C had a job at a child care centre. He was an qualified assistant that did odd jobs like preparing food, cleaning the centre and changing nappies. Quite often at the end of his shift he would play with the kids for a bit. They loved him because he would play games that required a bit of strength (ie pushing high on swings or spinning the kids around). In 1990 the "Mr Bubbles" sexual abuse case broke in Sydney, a man working at his wife's child care centre was accused of sexually abusing the children. Suddenly, all the parents involved with the child care centre didn't want a man working in there and force C to leave the job. There had never been any hint of inappropriate behaviour by C. He wasn't sacked but his contract was not renewed and he didn't fight it as the parent's had made his job very difficult.

It's sad to hear how things are going. My very first teacher was Mr Tibbets, grade 1 teacher at the Elementary school (and apparently he still remembers me 30 years later). I think there were a few other male teachers at the school back then too, but most were female. The guys that were there were great teachers, and I don't recall much talk of those threats at the time at least. Nowadays, it's sadly a different world.

[mathnerd]

Sadly it does happen. My third grade teacher is still in prison after being convicted of crimes against several of my classmates and girls in classes before mine. Unfortunately, it's men like that who make things tough for the majority of men, who would rather eat their own toes than hurt a kid.

[NecessaryCatharsis]

When I was a kid my two favourite babysitters were young men, they took us to the fort they had built as kids, sledding, biking, fishing, all kinds of fun things. My dad (a paranoid sort at best) hated us having them, and would rather us have any woman/girl. They only sat for us about 1/2 dozen time each, if any female was available they would sit for us first. All the females would watch tv, or sit and watch us play somewhere while we entertained ourselves. It was frustrating to me then (and now) that they were not considered as good because they were male. It was even more frustrating to me that they were considered not really good enough, unless no one else was available, then they would do???

But I'm not really sure how being male would make you less likely to be able to show a customer different types of bath mats. Even if I had all the stereotypes in place that makes no sense. It's not like I couldn't ask a male stocker where the tampons were located, you don't ever have to use a product to be able to find it in the store you work at.

[Seshat]

who would rather eat their own toes than hurt a kid.

Eloquently put, my dear.

And yes, I know it does happen. And I know there are females who abuse and mistreat people as well. And I don't ever want to come across as unsympathetic to the primary victims of these crimes.

But as you stated: people like the babysitters, my brother, the teacher 'C', are secondary victims. As are the children they could have taught/babysat/etc.


And no, phalluses have nothing to do with knowing the location of toilet mats.

[Eevie]

Irv, will it make you feel better if I admit that I wouldn't have known what a contour rug is? I know there are rugs that fit around the base of the toilet, but I didn't know they had a special name

I'm not very domestic.

I thought I was decent enough in the domestic name department, but I didn't know it had a name either! I always thought those rugs were disgusting though. Especially so growing up in a house with men that had poor aim. Ew...

[TopEndDave]

Just to clarify about "C", he wasn't a teach but was an assistant at child day care centre. His job was to clean and cook or basically "housework". It helped to show the kids that anyone can do "housework" no matter their gender.

All the day care centre's up here are large open plan buildings with a play ground. There would always have been another member insight or nearby. The staff had no problems with him, it was the parents getting scared by the media hype of the "Mr Bubbles" case. About 5 years after leaving that job he ran across one of the girls he looked after at a friends place. They recognised each other and had a fun after talking. The girl would have been 3 or 4 the last time they met.

[raudf]

I always thought gender roles were extremely silly. I love repairing stuff, improving them and anything electronic. My hubby loves fashion, cooking and dealing with kids. I got asked if I wanted to trade genders with the Hubs because of our "preferences in roles." Umm.. no. I like being female. I have yet to see a "socially assigned gender role," that required a penis to do. Same goes for the reverse. The only reason the hubs is the bread-winner while I'm the stay-at-home is because he has the college degree.

My oldest son, at the age of 12, can do his own cooking and cleaning. This surprises many of the other mothers I deal with, because apparently, it supposed to be MY job to make all his meals and do all his cleaning. News flash... I don't want to. Admittedly, I'm lazy by nature, but also, how else is he gonna take care of himself when he goes off to college? I'm not going to do it all for him when he's an adult!

[LillFilly]

This rather reminds me of when I was in elementary school, I was a tomboy in girl's clothing. I loved dressing-up, but loved drawing dinosaurs eating cavemen, playing with toy trucks, playing on the jungle gym and climbing trees. But every time I drew something that 'wasn't want girls should draw' I was pulled out of class by the counseler who seemed to watch me like a hawk! Every dragon, every deer getting eaten by wolves (I loved the discovery channel!), my parents were called in for a conference with that counseler who talked about how I wasn't 'developing' properly, she was concerned that I was not going to fit in, that I seemed obsessed with 'male' interests, etc. My parents finally complained to the school that that the counseler was harassing me, and they better not get called for another meeting because I drew a dragon instead of a flower! I never got called to the office again.i

It's a shame that it seems every man is a suspect if they're with children; remember the father who was stopped by police for photographing his own kids at a playground? Most of my favorite teachers were male; heck, my first grade teacher was male - I had a little crush on him!

[Canadian In Maine]

When my daughter was quite young I used to make her home made clothes for her Barbie dolls. She liked them better than the store bought frou-frou crap Mattel put out and I liked making them. Sadly though, the finer needlework was a chore for me.

One day her godfather was over waiting to take me out to dinner (he was also my ex). Now, uncle Dave was a "mans man": rode a Harley, long hair, covered in tattoos, and belonged to a well known biker organization. Out of sheer frustration from waiting so long for me while I tried to hem a tiny doll dress and sew miniature buttons on it he grabbed the needle, thread, and tiny dress and had the damn thing sewn up in a jiffy.

It was the finest stitching I'd ever seen. He handed it back with the threat that if I ever told any of the "brothers" what I'd witnessed he'd never speak to me again.

[Deevil]

I'm surprised nobody has posted this song yet

[fireheart]

It's a shame that it seems every man is a suspect if they're with children; remember the father who was stopped by police for photographing his own kids at a playground? Most of my favorite teachers were male; heck, my first grade teacher was male - I had a little crush on him!

One of my favourite substitute teachers in primary school was male. I always looked forward to whenever my teacher was absent because he would be taking over the class. Aside from the fact that he was genuinely likeable, he often would read out stories by Andy Griffith (the author, not the actor ) and bring in the books for us to read. I only had one male primary school "regular" teacher (some of my specialist subject teachers were male), my sister had three: Year 3, Year 6 and Year 7.

Out of my regular teachers, my Year 11/12 Psych teacher, my Year 11/12 Australian Studies/Social Studies* teacher and my Year 11 English teacher (one of them) were among my favourite teachers, all of whom were male.

*-Australian Studies is a "compulsory" subject for the high school certificate in my state. We looked at things like Aussie values, Aboriginal influences on Australian society and issues that affected modern Australians. I was introduced to The Castle (properly) and Yolngu Boy that year. (The former is a "classic" Aussie film, the latter is an Aussie film about 3 Aboriginal boys who are about to become men in their group and travel across Australia to find their leader to convince him that one of the 3 boys should be allowed to go through the ceremony. Unfortunately said boy later dies as a result of petrol sniffing). Social Studies was more or less an in-depth look at particular issues-I had the same teacher for both subjects.

Sadly, I later found out that my sister's Year 8 German teacher (and I think either homegroup or Maths teacher-there was a rule at the school that Year 8 students had the same teacher for homegroup plus one other subject) was accused of pedophilia. My sister wasn't his victim thankfully, rather he'd done it at another school. He gained notoriety for trying to disguise his face with a mosquito net (and failed)

[mathnerd]

My family, at least my father's side, has zero tolerance for gender roles. My grandmother was an airplane mechanic in the US Army Air Corps, as it was called before the Air Force spun of as its own branch of the military. She was stationed in North Africa during WWII, in the regular men's units, not the women's units. Pretty much everything I know about mechanics I learned from her. My father, who looked like a linebacker, was a flute/piccolo player in his HS marching band. I love mechanics, am competent with power tools and basic construction and have degrees in math. One of my sisters is an audio engineer (a VERY male dominated field). One of my sons is a ballet dancer, another loves to bake and the third likes to sew. They, of course, have other interests, but they're encouraged to do what they love, and to hell with what society thinks they should love based on the fact that they own penises.