i want one of those SPECIAL ones...

[felixxkatt]

i'm sure you've had this customer, or a version of her.

(huge line forming, older lady, squinting at the menue...)

CL=confused lady
me=ninja barista



CL: "What's your special coffee today?"
Me: "we have the house blend and the dark roast."
CL: "Dark roast? izzat the SPECIAL one?"
Me: "Um, well, we only have the regular and the dark roast, which is Sumatra, so i would say, tenatively, yes, the Sumatra is more special..."
CL: looks at me funny, not sure if i am making fun of her "No, i want the SPECIAL one. it had a name."
Me: growing frustrated by the lack of line-moving here. "Like 'sumatra'?"
CL: "No... like... uh... the special coffee drink!"
Me: "like a frappucino? that's cold, like a milkshake but with coffee in it..." (a lot of people somehow still don't know what that is, despite there being a starbucks on every corner from here to the surrounding 3 cities)
CL: "No, no, it's the hot one. a special coffee."
Me: "A MOCHA?!"
CL: "ye--... no. no that's not it."
Me: "Well, all we have are coffees and flavored lattes! did you want a latte?"
CL: "A LATTE! that's IT! i want two LATTES!"
Me: ...i can hear my teeth breaking as they grind....

[Kara]

I've had several versions of this customer.

The most irritating vague customer I ever had was back when I worked in Video at Kroger. You know that scene in "Clerks" where the lady says, "Do you have that movie, with that guy who was in that other movie, that came out last year?"

Yeah, that wasn't a joke. People really do that. And with alarming frequency.

[braindead]

I get so frustrated with people being vague. I get that all the time.

You mailed me this offer.
I got a postcard from you.
whats in this box you sent me.

This is all before they have even given me their name. Then again they assume I am related to miss cleo and can tell them everything.

My husband has been having a bit of fun with this theory lately. Our phones have caller ID so we can usually pull the info to find them before they give us their info. Well he has been using this to really make them take pause.
Phone rings
Thank you for calling *******
Hi I need this and that
Well bob....
hey wait I didn't tell you my name.

Its great today he had someone ask what else we knew about him and Hubby told him he was wearing a black shirt. Well I guess he actually was and it really messed up his day.

[Reyneth]

I'm sure other bookpeople have had this one....

"Yeah, I'm looking for this book, it was over there 2 months ago and it was big with a blue cover." They can not rememebr anything else about this book, just where it was 3 display changes (or more) ago, and the color. Yeah, that's gonna happen. (Actually, a few times we were able to find what it was they were looking for - but only a few.)

I felt bad, I have done similar things at the store I take photos for (and do an occasional odd job). I went in a few weeks ago, knowing the subject of the book and where it was in the store (I found it when pulling returns, but did not have $$ with me then). I couldn't find it. Not where it was, not on the surrounding shelves. The wonderful guy on media helped me find it in the system, with the key words I remembered (Monet, gardens....etc) and we discovered it had been sold. I need to pick up the one he ordered me soon. At least I knew enough about it to help him find it, though! (And felt really bad I didn't remember the exact title.) Of course, at the Monet exhibit I went to a week later - they had that same book! But I don't get a discount there, so......

[Dark Psion]

I'm looking for a plant, it has green leaves and red flowers.

Do you have that one?

[Foxglove8778]

Years ago.... When I worked in a music store...

Clueless Sucky Customer = CSC
Me = Overworked, Underpaid, Overlooked and Under... nevermind

CSC: "I'm looking from that CD with the guy in it singing.... in the music video there was the chick and she was.... uh.... "

Me: "I'm sure it was, but can you remember anything about the song? I don't have cable & haven't seen any of the music videos"

CSC: "But it was a really cool video... "

Me: "Do you remember the artist or the song title or any of the lyrics?"

CSC: "Well, it's on the radio a lot and there's this guy singing...."



Don't ask me how, but I did find the album he wanted... that's why I even remember that one. It happened all the time.

[powerboy]

do you have that one Anime series that is from Japan, that has on the cover a guy and woman. We did find the one that he wanted

[GayleShy]

I had a woman try to get me to make a key for her. When I asked her the make of the car, she told me she didn't know, but it was blue and had four doors. She then had the nerve to get pissed off when I sent her back to go find out what company made her &%#$ing car.

[AFpheonix]

Dumbass: "Durrrr.....do you carry a medication that, like....helps women orgasm?"
Night Pharmacist: "Um, do you know the name of the product you're looking for?"
DA: "Ummmmm....I think it starts with an M....."
NP: "I'm sorry, I'm not familiar with that."
DA goes away
NP (to me, in a mocking voice): "Uh, yeah, I'm looking for the thing that does the thing, it sounds like......"
Me: "Oh...oh oh yes! Yes! YES!"

NP:

[scruff]

You've reminded me of Insulation Dude (ID). It's not my job to give advice on insulation, but as we all know, SC's see the word "helpdesk" and don't bother to think any further..

ID: I want to know if this insulation is ok!
me: ok for what?
ID: If its dangerous or something!
me: Er, are you asking if it is asbestos?
ID: whatever. Is it dangerous?
me: What does it look like?
ID: INSULATION!
me: Great... Well, if you send us a sample, I can (possibly) get someone to check to see if its asbestos, or your local Council Building Control Department might be able to come and inspect it..
ID: Can't you just tell me over the phone if its ok?!?
me: Not without a description or a sample, no.
ID: I'M LOOKING AT IT RIGHT NOW!
me: Sir, I'm sorry, but I cannot see though the phone.
ID: Well you're flaming useless then! *unimaginative but loud ranting, followed by hanging up.*
me:

[DGoddessChardonnay]

ID: Can't you just tell me over the phone if its ok?!?
me: Not without a description or a sample, no.
ID: I'M LOOKING AT IT RIGHT NOW!
me: Sir, I'm sorry, but I cannot see though the phone.
ID: Well you're flaming useless then! *unimaginative but loud ranting, followed by hanging up.*
me:

Oh, but didn't you have your X-Ray glasses on that enable you to see through the phone?

I'd say that guy must have done too many roids to be able to understand that a person isn't able to see through a phone line.

[Sofar]

ID: I want to know if this insulation is ok!
me: ok for what?
ID: If its dangerous or something!
me: Er, are you asking if it is asbestos?
ID: whatever. Is it dangerous?
me: What does it look like?
ID: INSULATION!

Caller: "I'm looking at it right now!"
Me: "I'm afraid what you've got there is lead-based super-asbestos, and this is the extra-arsenic stuff they made in the sixties. You'll have to move.

[Shironu-Akaineko]

Her: I want brown bread.

Me: What kind of brown bread ma'am? Homemade or commercial?

Her: To make sammiches!

Me: Er, ma'am, yes, but what kind? The one we bake here, or the one we get from outside?

Her: To put in the toaster!

Me: Yes, but what kind? We have several brands and...

Her (The kicker): The kind I buy every week!

Me (losing it): Ma'am, we have 50 kinds of brown bread in here. (Voice getting louder, said throught clenched teeth) YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO BE A LIL BIT MORE SPECIFIC!

Her: Oh! Pom.

Me: Over there.
-------
A woman called the bakery so my manager could find her husband. She described him in "details" (Pretty much describing your average old man, slacks, shirt, suspenders, old man hat, white hair, glasses).

BUT, no way in HELL would she tell my manager the name of her husband. She would simply either avoid the question with more describing or answer "Yeah but he shops there all the time!"

Him and 5000 other old men, ma'am.

Wouldn't you know it, my manager found him.

[Becks]

(a lot of people somehow still don't know what that is, despite there being a starbucks on every corner from here to the surrounding 3 cities)

To be fair, not everyone goes to Starbucks or other such places. I couldn't tell you that I wanted a latte, mocha, frap, etc. Well, maybe if I saw descriptions of them I could, but you know.

[BusBus]

To be fair, not everyone goes to Starbucks or other such places. I couldn't tell you that I wanted a latte, mocha, frap, etc. Well, maybe if I saw descriptions of them I could, but you know.

It's one thing going into a coffee shop and asking, "Can I have one of those coffee drinks that made with lots of milk and some coffee?" or "What's a latte?", but it's another to ask for that "special drink".