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  • #1

    Everyone's a Comedian.

    Or, "Stuff I'm Tired of Hearing."

    Okay, fabric store stuff, also proximity to Canada. These are SCs in disguise, usually overly happy. Imagine these people with big "I know what you're going through" grins on their faces.

    You need longer arms! (to cut the wide home dec fabric)
    Can you come and sew it for me, too, haha?
    I bet you spend your whole paycheck here!
    I'll take a meter... Oh, I mean a yard. I guess you know where I'm from! (yes, you and 1/2 of everyone else here, we are minutes from the border)
    Wow, you need more help!

    I swear, after hours of these jokers I can barely fake a smile. We also had our uber-boss in recently and she talked about not just smiling, but "showing teeth." And I had to take a deep breath and go to my happy place.
    Replace anger management with stupidity management.
    Tags: None
  • #2
    I hate the 'comedians' who go all defensive on you when you don't laugh at their jokes. Like "You obviously don't have a sense of humour" or "It was a JOKE" or "You're supposed to laugh!"

    I fail to see the funny side when you are the 10,000th customer to tell that joke, arsehole...

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    • #3
      And there's the ever-ubiquitous "Oh, it won't scan? It must be free!"
      Fiancee: We're going to need to do laundry. I'm out of clean pants.
      Me: Sounds like a job for Gravekeeper!
      Fiancee: What?!
      Me: Nevermind.

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      • #4
        I've got a full teeth smile. It's a frightening smile. Think the Queen Mother in Alien.
        To seek it with thimbles, to seek it with care;
        To pursue it with forks and hope;
        To threaten its life with a railway share;
        To charm it with forks and hope!

        Comment

        • #5
          Quoth thehuckster View Post
          And there's the ever-ubiquitous "Oh, it won't scan? It must be free!"
          Haha. Jesus that one's the worst. I got that one SO much at Poundland. Half the time I wondered if they actually thought it WAS free.

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          • #6
            Quoth notalwaysright View Post
            I'll take a meter... Oh, I mean a yard. I guess you know where I'm from! (yes, you and 1/2 of everyone else here, we are minutes from the border)
            Do any of these people make it look like customer service is like a rope, in that a Yank and a jerk are equivalent?
            Any fool can piss on the floor. It takes a talented SC to shit on the ceiling.

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            • #7
              Why not just leave it as asking for a metre? Besides, you might actually want 2m, not 2 yards - the extra few centimetres might be important for the project. (I know it's not much at that amount, but it could be enough.)

              Surely a point of sale system for a fabric store (or hardware store, or any similar place) can be written to automatically do the conversion.
              Seshat's self-help guide:
              1. Would you rather be right, or get the result you want?
              2. If you're consistently getting results you don't want, change what you do.
              3. Deal with the situation you have now, however it occurred.
              4. Accept the consequences of your decisions.

              "All I want is a pretty girl, a decent meal, and the right to shoot lightning at fools." - Anders, Dragon Age.

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              • #8
                Quoth Seshat View Post
                Why not just leave it as asking for a metre? Besides, you might actually want 2m, not 2 yards - the extra few centimetres might be important for the project. (I know it's not much at that amount, but it could be enough.)

                Surely a point of sale system for a fabric store (or hardware store, or any similar place) can be written to automatically do the conversion.
                Yes, but they say this before I can offer, and 9 out of 10 times if I offer they say that a yard is fine, so I only do so if they are acting unsure of their measurements. If they need a meter I can definitely do that. A meter is just about 40" and I can do that easily but putting 1.111 in the handheld or writing it down.
                Replace anger management with stupidity management.

                Comment

                • #9
                  Quoth thehuckster View Post
                  And there's the ever-ubiquitous "Oh, it won't scan? It must be free!"
                  The variation on that line is when the customer hands you a $100 bill and as you examine it the gleefully exclaim "OH Don't worry it's good, I just printed it myself this morning. Sorry the ink is a little runny and it has not dried yet"

                  My fantasy response would be: "Let me just make a quick call to the local police, hold on a minute"
                  I'm lost without a paddle and headed up SH*T creek.
                  -- Life Sucks Then You Die.

                  "I'll believe corp. are people when Texas executes one."

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                  • #10
                    I am expressly forbidden from smiling at customers and asking them if they need help. Because I am frightening when friendly. See hey had this video on how to smile and greet customers and I took it a little too literally. Anyway. I ended up chasing a customer around the store screaming "I just want to help you" as they ran in fear. 3 am is not the time or place for overly friendly customer service. After I scared 6 people in one night they forbade me from smiling or offering to help.

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                    • #11
                      Quoth Evannah View Post
                      I hate the 'comedians' who go all defensive on you when you don't laugh at their jokes. Like "You obviously don't have a sense of humour" or "It was a JOKE" or "You're supposed to laugh!"

                      I fail to see the funny side when you are the 10,000th customer to tell that joke, arsehole...
                      This, along with the "Smile, it's not that bad!" comments, yes. Customers are...*sigh* yeah. And the stuff that won't scan that must be free and the fifties and hundreds that were just printed, and "Oh they're working you hard today!" when it's busy and the "Oh you're gonna hate me" when the customer's cart is heaping full of stuff, and on and on...people are not as funny as they think they are.
                      Sometimes customers remind me of zombies, but I'm pretty sure that zombies are smarter.

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                      • #12
                        Quoth Mondestrucken View Post
                        I've got a full teeth smile. It's a frightening smile. Think the Queen Mother in Alien.
                        Me too. I've been told I can go from friendly to threatening without ever changing my expression.


                        Then again, my canine teeth are extra long. I've been asked if I'm wearing caps to look like a vampire. Nope, all natural.
                        "If your day is filled with firefighting, you need to start taking the matches away from the toddlers…” - HM

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                        • #13
                          How good is your fake laugh? Why not appease them by laughing WAY harder than you should at the joke, even falling on your ass or keeling over with joy?

                          Comment

                          • #14
                            Quoth emax4 View Post
                            How good is your fake laugh? Why not appease them by laughing WAY harder than you should at the joke, even falling on your ass or keeling over with joy?
                            The "Comedian" types can be sarcasm blind sometimes.

                            I usually just go back to my fake rictus smile and deadpan, "Haaaa."
                            PWNADE(TM) - Serve up a glass today! | PWNZER - An act of pwnage so awesome, it's like the victim got hit by a tank.

                            There are only Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse because I choose to walk!

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                            • #15
                              Quoth emax4 View Post
                              How good is your fake laugh? Why not appease them by laughing WAY harder than you should at the joke, even falling on your ass or keeling over with joy?
                              Try something like this.

                              https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e04KEmsAc8k

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