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Well, another County fair almost in the books - FINALLY! It can't come soon enough. And, yes, it seems Lupo's weirdo magnet got shipped to me. Can I return it to sender?
I don't have a complete list of all the strange happenings, but will add to the thread when I do. Here goes. Also a little BG - we run a small (emphasis on small) booth that sells our specialty burgers, and hot dogs. Outside the booth we also sell video games, and systems.
Story #1 - DUHHHH, are you open?
I know, sir, you want food. Asking me for food as I'm unloading stuff from my car, and all the sides are still up, and the cooker isn't even on yet, means no food for you. Please grow a clue. Extra points are given for you asking when I have an 80 lb box of meat in my hands.
Story #2 - Shrimpburger
You want a shrimpburger? Ok, that's nice. Where do you see a fryer in our booth, and where would said fryer fit? And also, where on our menu, right next to you do you see it listed? No amount of catbutt face will get you a shrimpburger at our booth. Go to the main store, that has room for fryers, for that.
Story #3 - Video game stupidity #1
You're about an 8-10 year old kid, congratulations on making it that far in life. But you take major stupid points when you ask me "Do I have to pay for the games?" Hell, my BP's 4-year-old knows if you want something, you've got to pay for it. I weep for the future with this kid.
Story #4 - Moochers.
You want a fork. Good for you, but you're not a customer, so no fork for you. I'll send you to the smokehouse across from us every time, because they send their customers who want forks to us. Get forks for your customers smokehouse. If you do, I'd buy your tasty products.
Story #5 - Video game stupidity #2
You've 5 games that cost $2 each. That's $10. What, you don't have $10? Sorry, you can't get the games. No we will not hire you to work for us to pay for the games. No, we won't because we aren't hiring, and, frankly, you're a moron who can barely put 2 words together to communicate a thought. Go away, and let me get back to my medicine, I mean beer.
Story # 6 - Vendor stupidity #1 - BUNS!
Bun company, get it right. We ordered 3 dozen wheat buns. We get 8 dozen. We order for Tuseday a tray of hot dog buns, we get 3 bags, at least we did get a tray Friday. Also, when we maybe sell 1100 sandwiches, do you send us buns for 2000, and that's WAYYYY more than we ordered?
Story #7 - Vendor stupidity #2 - WTF?
Ok, coffee company, look at our damn order history. Have we EVER ordered one sleeve of cups at a time, or 1 bag of slushie mix at a time? We haven't. So why the bloody hell did you only send us a sleeve of cups when we ordered a case? Why did you send us 4 bags of a slushie mix when we ordered 4 cases of it, along with 5 of another kind and 3 of yet another, where we only got bags of it? Why did you NOT send us the case of cup lids that we ordered with the case of cups?
No, coffee company, this new system of you having a rep several states away from us isn't working. Your rep for us is a moron. Because of your stupidity, we're now getting our cups, and lids, locally, for half the cost! Sorry you lose!
Story #8 - I thank the crowd at the fair
You see me walking down the midway with something that looks heavy, what do you do?
A - Help me out by getting out of my way
B - See me and move right into my path
You all can figure out what happened numerous times, and here's my response to those who did it
Story #9 - Video Game Stupidity # 3 - Bag boy.
I don't remember all the details of the sucktomers we call the bag people, or why they got the name. I do remember that they were a bunch of EW's and SC's, and their kids were feral, and did what they pleased. Well, one feral kid is a teen now
.
Oh, Bag Boy, you fond a game that's $35. No you will not get it for $25. No I don't control the prices - talk to the guy who does when he gets back. I don't care that you say you only have $25 on you. No matter how you bitch it's $35, and won't change. What will change is we take the game out of it's tote and remove it from sale. When you come by again to make your pathetic attempt to get it for less, and see it gone, we tell you someone was so happy to get the game they gave us a $10 tip, and bought it for $45. Now go away, and don't return.
Story #10 - Free food.
That's nice you claim that my BP said he'd give you free food. There's one problem with that - he didn't mention it to me, and something like that he would. No I won't give you free food. Yeah, walk away, out of the gate, you scammer. Jump off a cliff into the river while you're at it, it's only 5 blocks that away.
Story #11 - You can't read, can you?
Where do you see that we have ice cream here in our small booth? Where on our menu does it list we have ice cream? Do you want us to pull ice cream out of our rear ends, it wouldn't taste too good if we do? Walk away, now!
I'll add more as I remember them.
I don't have a complete list of all the strange happenings, but will add to the thread when I do. Here goes. Also a little BG - we run a small (emphasis on small) booth that sells our specialty burgers, and hot dogs. Outside the booth we also sell video games, and systems.
Story #1 - DUHHHH, are you open?
I know, sir, you want food. Asking me for food as I'm unloading stuff from my car, and all the sides are still up, and the cooker isn't even on yet, means no food for you. Please grow a clue. Extra points are given for you asking when I have an 80 lb box of meat in my hands.
Story #2 - Shrimpburger
You want a shrimpburger? Ok, that's nice. Where do you see a fryer in our booth, and where would said fryer fit? And also, where on our menu, right next to you do you see it listed? No amount of catbutt face will get you a shrimpburger at our booth. Go to the main store, that has room for fryers, for that.
Story #3 - Video game stupidity #1
You're about an 8-10 year old kid, congratulations on making it that far in life. But you take major stupid points when you ask me "Do I have to pay for the games?" Hell, my BP's 4-year-old knows if you want something, you've got to pay for it. I weep for the future with this kid.
Story #4 - Moochers.
You want a fork. Good for you, but you're not a customer, so no fork for you. I'll send you to the smokehouse across from us every time, because they send their customers who want forks to us. Get forks for your customers smokehouse. If you do, I'd buy your tasty products.
Story #5 - Video game stupidity #2
You've 5 games that cost $2 each. That's $10. What, you don't have $10? Sorry, you can't get the games. No we will not hire you to work for us to pay for the games. No, we won't because we aren't hiring, and, frankly, you're a moron who can barely put 2 words together to communicate a thought. Go away, and let me get back to my medicine, I mean beer.
Story # 6 - Vendor stupidity #1 - BUNS!
Bun company, get it right. We ordered 3 dozen wheat buns. We get 8 dozen. We order for Tuseday a tray of hot dog buns, we get 3 bags, at least we did get a tray Friday. Also, when we maybe sell 1100 sandwiches, do you send us buns for 2000, and that's WAYYYY more than we ordered?
Story #7 - Vendor stupidity #2 - WTF?
Ok, coffee company, look at our damn order history. Have we EVER ordered one sleeve of cups at a time, or 1 bag of slushie mix at a time? We haven't. So why the bloody hell did you only send us a sleeve of cups when we ordered a case? Why did you send us 4 bags of a slushie mix when we ordered 4 cases of it, along with 5 of another kind and 3 of yet another, where we only got bags of it? Why did you NOT send us the case of cup lids that we ordered with the case of cups?
No, coffee company, this new system of you having a rep several states away from us isn't working. Your rep for us is a moron. Because of your stupidity, we're now getting our cups, and lids, locally, for half the cost! Sorry you lose!
Story #8 - I thank the crowd at the fair
You see me walking down the midway with something that looks heavy, what do you do?
A - Help me out by getting out of my way
B - See me and move right into my path
You all can figure out what happened numerous times, and here's my response to those who did it
Story #9 - Video Game Stupidity # 3 - Bag boy.
I don't remember all the details of the sucktomers we call the bag people, or why they got the name. I do remember that they were a bunch of EW's and SC's, and their kids were feral, and did what they pleased. Well, one feral kid is a teen now
.Oh, Bag Boy, you fond a game that's $35. No you will not get it for $25. No I don't control the prices - talk to the guy who does when he gets back. I don't care that you say you only have $25 on you. No matter how you bitch it's $35, and won't change. What will change is we take the game out of it's tote and remove it from sale. When you come by again to make your pathetic attempt to get it for less, and see it gone, we tell you someone was so happy to get the game they gave us a $10 tip, and bought it for $45. Now go away, and don't return.
Story #10 - Free food.
That's nice you claim that my BP said he'd give you free food. There's one problem with that - he didn't mention it to me, and something like that he would. No I won't give you free food. Yeah, walk away, out of the gate, you scammer. Jump off a cliff into the river while you're at it, it's only 5 blocks that away.
Story #11 - You can't read, can you?
Where do you see that we have ice cream here in our small booth? Where on our menu does it list we have ice cream? Do you want us to pull ice cream out of our rear ends, it wouldn't taste too good if we do? Walk away, now!
I'll add more as I remember them.
Anyway, the fair near where I used to live drew over a million people each year, and this one only gets around 200,000 so I hope it'll be less crazy.
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