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  • #1

    Relentless Idiocy

    If you want me I'll be in the corner rocking back and forth. -.-



    Inquiring Minds

    Me: "How soon after you get up do you have your first cigarette?"
    SC: "Right after I have my first coffee."

    Mhmmkay….and I'm suppose to know when that is how? Is there a TV show or something? Do you think that I'm one of your blog readers? Do you sent out a country wide newsletter? No, please, tell me. I want to know. Let me subscribe to your newsletter/magazine/leaflets/web ring/guild/secret tree house club that girls aren't allowed in because they have cooties. I want to know every pitiful detail of your life in the most vivid, descriptive way possible. Please! I must know! The suspense….oh the suspense.



    867 - A Scientific Breakthrough

    Me: "and your last name?"
    SC: "<gives me his postal code>"

    Ah ha! I see! Clever....very clever. You guys up there were having so much trouble trying to answer simple questions like "postal code? and "last name?" that you just combined the two. Brilliant! I applaud your determination and ingenuity.

    Now if they could just combine caps and hoodies into a single article of clothing and call them "Huh?"'s you guys would be set for LIFE.



    What's that smell?

    Me: "How many of your friends smoke?"
    SC: "Um…I think bout."
    Me: "......?"
    SC: "......."
    Me: "......."

    Well, you "think bout" a bit harder and let me know what stunning revelation you come up with. Don't worry, I'll warn you if I smell smoke. At the rate we're going you'll have to take a nap after this call.



    Deductions

    Me: "Good morning, <company> roofing"
    SC: "YA'LL THAT ROOFING COMMERCIAL!?"
    Me: "….um....yes….?"
    SC: "YA'LL DO ROOFING!?"
    Me: "….yes..."

    No, we make zoo animals out of Belgium chocolate. What the flying hell do you think we do? Christ almighty man. If I mail you a clue will you use it?



    Argh#!@$@

    Me: "How soon after you get up do you have your first cigarette?"
    SC: "Right after I brush my teeth."
    Me: "How soon is that?"
    SC: "Yep!"
    Me: "…..?"

    Is deja vu suppose to hurt?. Because I'm getting a nose bleed.





    Rawrghahd! MAKE THE SMOKING CALLS STOP!
    Tags: None
  • #2
    Quoth Gravekeeper View Post
    Me: "How soon after you get up do you have your first cigarette?"
    SC: "Right after I have my first coffee."
    Wow. Just...wow. I shudder to think what happened if you asked when he has his first coffee. After his first morning wee? After his first nose-picking excursion? After his first butt scratch? After his first whiff of his armpit to see if he can get by another day without a shower?

    Quoth Gravekeeper View Post
    Do you think that I'm one of your blog readers?
    Heh. Yeah. What a total loser. Excuse me...

    *Sweeps her newly formed blog under the rug.*
    "You are loved" - Plaidman.

    Comment

    • #3
      Quoth Gravekeeper View Post


      Deductions

      Me: "Good morning, <company> roofing"
      SC: "YA'LL THAT ROOFING COMMERCIAL!?"
      Me: "….um....yes….?"
      SC: "YA'LL DO ROOFING!?"
      Me: "….yes..."

      No, we make zoo animals out of Belgium chocolate. What the flying hell do you think we do? Christ almighty man. If I mail you a clue will you use it?
      I don't think trailers have roofs.....
      -"One ring to rule them all!"-Elias
      -Ask yourself, "WWRKHTSCCJ:TMD?"

      Comment

      • #4
        *gasp* Belgian chocolate zoo animals! Ooh, I want a camel. Do you do the zebras with white chocolate and dark chocolate stripes?

        Comment

        • #5
          To quote Dickenson:

          "I felt a funeral, in my brain."
          Your dignity shredded in five minutes or less, or your abuse is free.

          Comment

          • #6
            Me: "How soon is that?"
            SC: "Yep!"

            i guessing what he heard was

            "As soon as that?"

            Comment

            • #7
              Wow. Just...wow. I shudder to think what happened if you asked when he has his first coffee. After his first morning wee? After his first nose-picking excursion? After his first butt scratch? After his first whiff of his armpit to see if he can get by another day without a shower?
              I'm thinking after his first morning
              Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.

              "I never said I wasn't a horrible person."--Me, almost daily

              Comment

              • #8
                Quoth Kara_CS View Post
                Heh. Yeah. What a total loser. Excuse me...

                *Sweeps her newly formed blog under the rug.*
                It's for the best kara. I myself don't want to read the worthless ramblings of someone who thinks their popular. (reference to blogs in general, not specific to anyone)
                I AM the evil bastard!
                A+ Certified IT Technician

                Comment

                • #9
                  Quoth lordlundar View Post
                  It's for the best kara. I myself don't want to read the worthless ramblings of someone who thinks their popular. (reference to blogs in general, not specific to anyone)
                  I like reading blogs, but only if I don't know the person in real life. If I do, then it's just disturbing... I think I'm the mysterious person Carly Simon really wrote about in the song "You're So Vain"... I think every post is about me.
                  I was neat, clean, shaved and sober, and I didn't care who knew it. -- Raymond Chandler

                  Comment

                  • #10
                    Quoth Kara_CS View Post
                    Wow. Just...wow. I shudder to think what happened if you asked when he has his first coffee. After his first morning wee? After his first nose-picking excursion? After his first butt scratch? After his first whiff of his armpit to see if he can get by another day without a shower?
                    But that would require him to raise his arm high enough for his knuckes to not scrape the ground.
                    Human Resources - the adult version of "I'm telling Mom." - Agent Anthony "Tony" DiNozzo (NCIS)

                    Comment

                    • #11
                      I really love this site, even though I only have a few years experience in Retail. My longest experience has been in teaching, and I think that we should have a forum, or maybe even an extra website, called StudentsSuck. (Maybe there is one, I will check.)

                      Anyway, a lot of the problems are very similar, and when I taught English as a Foreign Language we were advised to used closed questions rather than open questions, most of the time.

                      But it was best to make the questions VERY closed, if you really needed the info, rather than practising "question words" - WHEN was best replaced by AT WHAT TIME. WHO was best replaced by WHAT IS/WAS THE NAME OF THE PERSON... and so on. I often felt like some sort of interrogation torturer, it was hard not to start using a cartoon accent.

                      Comment

                      • #12
                        I'm frequently surprised by how often the simplest questions seem to flummox people who've proven to be otherwise reasonably intelligent. When I call a doctor's office to get diagnosis codes, HIPAA requires that I get the first name and last initial of the person I spoke to. The simple question "May I have your name?" is always replied to promptly. The simple question, "And the first letter of your last name?" (or "the initial of your last name") puts people into vapor lock.
                        He loves the world...except for all the people.
                        --Men at Work

                        Comment

                        • #13
                          gasp

                          Quoth Gravekeeper View Post
                          867 - A Scientific Breakthrough

                          Me: "and your last name?"
                          SC: "<gives me his postal code>"

                          Ah ha! I see! Clever....very clever. You guys up there were having so much trouble trying to answer simple questions like "postal code? and "last name?" that you just combined the two. Brilliant! I applaud your determination and ingenuity.
                          OOh, for a moment I though there was hope...

                          Bagga, I beg to differ, you cannot get more direct than, "What is your postcode?"
                          Last edited by Ackee; 04-24-2007, 12:49 PM.
                          ...but I'm a bastard and so desensitized to the scum of humanity that I'm immune to the Stun status effect.
                          Quoth Gravekeeper

                          Comment

                          • #14
                            867

                            I was finally intrigued enough to look in our database to see how many customers we have with the 867 area code.

                            It turns out we have three customers who have registered licenses. Fortunately, they all gave postal codes. However, none of them have purchased anything in the past five years.

                            I guess they've been blowing their software budgets on hats.
                            Last edited by Dips; 04-26-2007, 10:58 AM.
                            The best karma is letting a jerk bash himself senseless on the wall of your polite indifference.

                            The stupid is strong with this one.

                            Comment

                            • #15
                              Quoth Gravekeeper View Post
                              No, we make zoo animals out of Belgium chocolate.

                              Oooooh, how much for a hippo?
                              Unseen but seeing
                              oh dear, now they're masquerading as sane-KiaKat
                              There isn't enough interpretive dance in the workplace these days-Irv
                              3rd shift needs love, too
                              RIP, mo bhrionglóid

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