WOULD YOU LIKE TO TAKE A SURVEY?!?!?

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

So today a guy walks into our store and says "ouch!"

No seriously, he came in and purchased a TV. He checked out at the service desk. He tossed his pull tag at the lady working there, and then turned his back on her to go stare at the cashiers behind him.

Service desk lady rang him up and called somebody to carry out the TV. Then she asked the guy if he wanted to purchase the extended protection plan for the TV. He didn't answer her, so she asked him again, twice, progressively louder each time.

Finally, the guy whipped around and snarled "Can't I just pay for my TV?"

It also turns out that this week we are starting a zip-code capture, so the cashiers have to ask every customer for their zip codes. So service desk lady asked the guy for his zip code (again having to repeat it because he resumed staring at the cashiers again)

Finally she got his attention and he barked "What the hell do you need my zip code for? Are you going to take my money now or what?!"

The service desk lady just said it was a survey we were doing. I don't think she got his zip code,

On the subject of surveys, we have unveiled a new online customer service survey. It is mentioned on our receipts. Customers who complete the survey become eligible to win a $250 shopping spree. If I were not disqualified from this because of my employment, I might do the survey and give some evil answers, such as

• That Irv was a really nice, helpful guy! He should be given a promotion and a raise. I also want to bear his children.
• However, (insert name of whatever employee who's on my bad side) was a real jerk. He/she didn't answer any of my questions and told me to piss off. I will never again visit one of your stores until you fire him/her.
• Yes, I do like beans! Why yes, I do like George Wendt! Of course I'd like to see George Wendt eating beans in a new movie!

[MadMike]

I can understand not wanting to play 20 Questions when you just want to pay and leave, but I certainly don't take it out on the cashier. I'm sure they don't like it anymore than I do.

[blas]

I was supposed to complete a survey after I had my surgery last winter. I really don't know why, but they gave it to me when I left, and I threw it away. Now, every month, when my bill statements come, there's ANOTHER copy of the survey with a note reminding me that I still have to fill out the survey.

I'm still looking for the part that says, "Or else!"

I hate surveys.

[RichS]

I hated being asked 3 times for the 'protection' plan when I went to purchase my laptop 2 years ago - I knew it wasn't the employee's fault, though, and I said a simple "No, thank you." every time.

Now, the rewards card I said yes to - I got a lot of discounts from the laptop purchase that way.

Yes, I do like beans! Why yes, I do like George Wendt! Of course I'd like to see George Wendt eating beans in a new movie!

Dot:"It's not that we wouldn't like to take your survey..."
Yakko:"...Ah.......it's more like we'd rather have dental surgery."

Sums up my feelings of surveys precisely, although I wouldn't put it that way...

BTW - can't wait for Volume 3 (June 19!) &4 (Before the end of the year!).

[Reyneth]

Gaaaah, I just finished a survey for my "healthcare provider." They called me last Thursday and I happened to hear my phone when I was at work, told them I was at work and to call Friday since I had the day off. Didn't hear from them. But they called Saturday (missed it, working), Sunday (missed it, working) and didn't leave a message either of those days. Today I didn't take a lunch, so I left early - otherwise I would've missed the call today.

One of those annoying ones with canned answers and stuff - which I understand why - but when he thanked me for "helping to improve the quality of care for new members" I wanted to ask him then why didn't they want to know why I rated the Pharmacy as a 2 on a scale of 1 to 10? If they actually cared, they would want to know the reason behind the ratings people are giving.

I want my 12 cell phone minutes back, please.

[Imogene]

Yes, I do like beans! Why yes, I do like George Wendt!

You just don't give up, do you?
We're persistent.
You should try a different deodorant.

[TNT]

I was supposed to complete a survey after I had my surgery last winter. I really don't know why, but they gave it to me when I left, and I threw it away.

I was in the hospital once, and while I was checking out, I was handed an "Anonymous Patient Satisfaction Survey."

I took it the nurse. "What do you mean, 'anonymous'? You got a sticker on it with my name and address."

She looked at it... "No one ever noticed that before." (Probably because no one ever filled it out before.) She tore the sticker off.

Only then did I fill it out. And wrote my name and address on it. I've never done anything anonymously in my entire life. It was the principle of the thing.

[hawkchick11]

When I had my son, the hospital gave me a survey to fill out. I think I made my sister do it, I couldn't really remember much of my time when I first got to the hospital, how the doctors were in the delivery room, etc.

[BusyBee]

Maybe it's just me, but calling it a "protection plan" makes me picture some mob guys coming round to my house after 3 months to "take care of" my TV/whatever if I don't buy their protection plan

[myswtghst]

We have to ask customers/techs to take surveys at work. I rarely do it, and it's the only part of my numbers that is ever bad, because I just hate doing it unless I really do something awesome for a tech. Also, we're only supposed to ask every 90 days, and I usually talk to the same people every day.

[powerboy]

I hate taking surveys. Once I did, and I got told, to stop being a smart ass. All I did was answer it truthfully. Damn, I had a pre-paid cell phone at the time, and I now I want those minutes back

[Mongo Skruddgemire]

Was ambushed in the mall by a survey taker and I made her pay for it. I let her ask the questions and I was honest with my answers. It's how I took the survey that was evil.

I started absently scratching my arm
Then I scratched my beard
then my other arm
then the back of my neck
then my head
then the small of my back

Woman starts looking uncomfortable...time to ramp it up a bit

With more vigor I repeat the previous scratchings in random order, adding my ass to the equation

Woman absently scratched her hair...time to unleash hell

I start scratching like I just finished installing fiberglass insulation. Same randomness of the previous places plus adding my upper back and my chest.

Woman is really worrying her hair now. Time to drop the nuke.

I start in with both hands and scratch like I'm trying to peel flesh off of bone. Same stuff as before but now I add the big one...I start digging into my crotch.

Survey is over and I watch with sadistic glee as the survey taker walks away, scratching like mad. I mean this woman was scratching for real the way I was faking it. She has both hands into play, is using her clipboard, is actually causing welts from her nails digging into her skin.

Taking that year of Psychology in High School was a dangerous thing. I learned that the human mind is the greatest plaything in the world...It's even more fun than Playstation.

M

[Best Made Tacos]

Wow, Mongo, that is freakin EVIL.
..
.
EXCELLENT!

I suspect you could get a similar response by taking annoying calls in the bathroom and obtrusively flushing the toilet several times (possibly groaning in between flushes). Really test how much they want that sale! (I am talking about intrusive won't-go-away marketers here, not innocent phone jockeys).
I know there's a degree of seperation on the phone, but it would creep me out.

[OfficeSlug]

Yes, I do like beans! Why yes, I do like George Wendt! Of course I'd like to see George Wendt eating beans in a new movie!

Without scrolling down, I knew what that was from!

Ah, sweet college days of coming in from class and watching Animaniacs!!

[Jack7957]

I took one of those mall survey's one time, got $20 for it. So now when they ask me, I always ask first what's in it for me?

Another survey I got stuck doing alot was through work when I was doing computer repair. Our company was putting me down as the end user for when we did warranty repairs on IBMs. So within a week after a repair was done, I'd get a call asking if I have 5 minutes for a survey. It was all ranking the service on a scale of 1 to 5. So here's what the people sitting near me would hear for 5 minutes......
"5"
"5"
"5"
"5"
"5"
"5"
"5"
"5"
"5"
"5"
"5"
"5"
"5"
"5"
"5"
"5"
"5"
etc....