But I bought it like that!

[draggar]

A customer tried to return a phone he bought mid last week.

Upon the inspection, the box was smashed, the phone inside was smashed, the case (in some parts) was broken off and the screen was completely smashed. When told we could not take back a phone in that condition, the customer got irate stating that when he got home, it was like that.

He claims he bought it in that condition (wouldn't you notice it?) and he even went as far as to accuse the store of having someone stomp on the box.

Uh-huh. We routinely stomp on customers boxes to destroy their phones..

[Strikesfirmly]

You bastages.

[draggar]

It was almost as good as the customers who accuse us of using spray on corrosion in their phones.

[Strikesfirmly]

"I did NOT get that phone wet. You made that button turn red so I wouldn't get a warranty repair!"

[Imogene]

You made that button turn red so I wouldn't get a warranty repair!"

Yes sir, I opened up your phone and licked the dot! It was the only source of liquid I had available to me, and I ever so enjoy the possibility of electric current running through my veins.

[Knightmare]

Better than nipple clamps!

[Imogene]

Better than nipple clamps!

Not true! In fact, there's hardly anything better than nipple clamps.
...
Well...
...
*thinks*
...
No, nothing.

[Mr. Rude]

MMmmmm.........*licks a cellphone*


OOOOooowwwwww!!!

[Enjis]

I used to have women returning (or rather, attempting to return) communion dreses to us, dresses that are big, poufy and pure white. Usually, there was a huge chocolate ice cream stain right on the front.
"It was like that when I bought it' was the usual explanation.
How can anyone look a salesperson in the eye and lie like that?
And with a communion dress...you know, the dress your daughter wore when she talked to God! The one she promised to be a good Christian in....

Gah!

[Killer Bees]

MMmmmm.........*licks a cellphone*


OOOOooowwwwww!!!

Once when I was a kid, I licked a frog.

Does that count?

[ThePhoneGoddess]

You bastages.

You fargin sneaky bastage. I'm gonna take your dwork. I'm gonna nail it to the wall. I'm gonna crush your boils in a meat grinder. I'm gonna cut off your arms. I'm gonna shove 'em up your icehole! Dirty son-a-ma-batches...this is fargin war!!!

[draggar]

Yes sir, I opened up your phone and licked the dot! It was the only source of liquid I had available to me, and I ever so enjoy the possibility of electric current running through my veins.

Not to mention the germs, bacteria, and all the infested crap in their phone.. *shudder*

TPH - I love that movie! How much for a thyroid search?

[ThePhoneGoddess]

How much for a thyroid search?

Dr: This week's special, a thousand dollars.

Young Johnny: A thousand dollars?! Where am I gonna get that kind of money?

Dr: Why don't you knock over a gas station?



But my favorite line from it is Maureen Stapleton: I know why you wanna get married! You wanna get laid!

Griffin Dunne: (covering his fiance's ears) MOM!!!!

MS: You wanna hump your brains out! Baboom! Baboom! Baboom!

That sweet little old lady saying that line with such gusto just kills me.

[Mongo Skruddgemire]

Yes sir, I opened up your phone and licked the dot! It was the only source of liquid I had available to me, and I ever so enjoy the possibility of electric current running through my veins.

They should consider themselves lucky...you could have whizzed on it.

M

[Imogene]

They should consider themselves lucky...you could have whizzed on it.

Nah, three hours standing at a counter, and I can't whiz until I get home, for some reason.