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Got this lovely gem the other day...
Cast:
PP--Pertinacious Patron
Me--
Setting: Call center in the midwest, shortly before lunch.
Me: [company] this is Deevil, how may I help you?
PP: I place an order the other day and just got it and I have a problem.
Me: I'm sorry to hear that. Do you have your order number or invoice number handy?
(get info and verify account)
Me: And what was the issue with your order?
PP: I ordered some Christmas ornaments and when they came they were all in half.
(looking for the item expecting that they were the type that snap together and you can put stuff inside)
Me: Was that the do it yourself round flat clear christmas ornaments?
PP: Yes. They were supposed to be round, but they are not, I need my money back.
Me: So you thought they would be a sphere but they aren't. Is that correct?
PP: Yes.
Me: Okay, I can set up a return for you.
PP: I don't see why I have to return them, the description was misleading. Can't you just credit the account?
Me: No, I'm sorry to issue a credit you will need to return them.
PP: Do I got to pay to return it?
Me: Yes, you will be responsible for the return shipping, but you can chose whichever method works the best for you.
PP: I am not going to pay to return them. Ornaments are supposed to be round, not flat. I have never heard of ornaments being anything other than round.
Me: I'm sorry, but since the item actually has has the word flat in its title, you will be need to pay to return them if you want a refund.
PP: It's misleading. I showed the catalog to several people and they all agreed. NOBODY would be able to know they are flat. I'm not gonna pay to return them. Just give me my money back.
Me: We cannot just credit your account, you will need to return the ornaments before we will issue a credit.
PP: It would cost me more to send them back than what I paid for them! (not true unless it was sent 1-day express or something) Fine, I am just never going to buy from you guys again, and I am going to tell everybody what a scam you are running. You can ask anybody and they would said that an ornament is round--a sphere--not flat.
Me: So would you like me to set up a return or not then?
PP: (Rinse and repeat same arguments until customer stops for air)
Me: Tell, you what if you don't want to return them, I can get you sent out a $10 merchandise certificate which can be used towards a future order*, would that work for you?
PP: If that's the best you can do, I guess...but I am not happy.
Me: Okay. That will be arriving in the mail in about a week.
* slightly less that what was spent on the ornaments and can only be used with our company...so IMO it was a good compromise to get her off the phone.
Cast:
PP--Pertinacious Patron
Me--
Setting: Call center in the midwest, shortly before lunch.
Me: [company] this is Deevil, how may I help you?
PP: I place an order the other day and just got it and I have a problem.
Me: I'm sorry to hear that. Do you have your order number or invoice number handy?
(get info and verify account)
Me: And what was the issue with your order?
PP: I ordered some Christmas ornaments and when they came they were all in half.
(looking for the item expecting that they were the type that snap together and you can put stuff inside)
Me: Was that the do it yourself round flat clear christmas ornaments?
PP: Yes. They were supposed to be round, but they are not, I need my money back.
Me: So you thought they would be a sphere but they aren't. Is that correct?
PP: Yes.
Me: Okay, I can set up a return for you.
PP: I don't see why I have to return them, the description was misleading. Can't you just credit the account?
Me: No, I'm sorry to issue a credit you will need to return them.
PP: Do I got to pay to return it?
Me: Yes, you will be responsible for the return shipping, but you can chose whichever method works the best for you.
PP: I am not going to pay to return them. Ornaments are supposed to be round, not flat. I have never heard of ornaments being anything other than round.
Me: I'm sorry, but since the item actually has has the word flat in its title, you will be need to pay to return them if you want a refund.
PP: It's misleading. I showed the catalog to several people and they all agreed. NOBODY would be able to know they are flat. I'm not gonna pay to return them. Just give me my money back.
Me: We cannot just credit your account, you will need to return the ornaments before we will issue a credit.
PP: It would cost me more to send them back than what I paid for them! (not true unless it was sent 1-day express or something) Fine, I am just never going to buy from you guys again, and I am going to tell everybody what a scam you are running. You can ask anybody and they would said that an ornament is round--a sphere--not flat.
Me: So would you like me to set up a return or not then?
PP: (Rinse and repeat same arguments until customer stops for air)
Me: Tell, you what if you don't want to return them, I can get you sent out a $10 merchandise certificate which can be used towards a future order*, would that work for you?
PP: If that's the best you can do, I guess...but I am not happy.
Me: Okay. That will be arriving in the mail in about a week.
* slightly less that what was spent on the ornaments and can only be used with our company...so IMO it was a good compromise to get her off the phone.
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