One of my most favorite duties is processing returns....my MOST favorite part is that I need to be insulted while resolving the problem. Here are some of my favorites from this week....
SC: "I need to return this can opener."
CSM: "Ok, sure...no problem. Thank you for having the receipt."
SC: "don't you want to know why I am returning it?"
CSM: "No, not really...from the look of the twisted handled, it looks like it is defective."
SC: "NO...it sucks....just like your attitude."
CSM: "here is your $8.93 thank you and have a nice afternoon"
SC: "Oh...that's how you THINK this ends....the damn thing didn't work and all you are giving me is my money and a smile...I want to know WHY you sell junk! I want to talk to the person that thinks it is OK to put this crap on your shelves!"
CSM:"thank you for your opinion. May I help the net person in line please?"
SC: "oh...that's it I am calling your boss....it didn't work just like you don't work well with customers."
SC: "YA...I was overcharged for a 2 liter of Coke."
CSM: "Oh no, let me look at your receipt."
<receipt flipped in face and bag with soda plopped on the counter>
SC: "SEE!! I was charged $1.79 and that is WRONG!! The sign says 5 for $5."
CSM: "Yes, the sign does say 5 for $5 but it also says 'must buy 5.' That means you need to get four more to get the sale price."
SC: "NO...I only want one and since the sign says 5 for $5 I want it for $1."
CSM: "I understand your confusion. The sign and the advert are very clear, to get the sale price you MUST but 5."
SC: "YOU SUCK! THIS STORE SUCKS!! AND YOUR SIGN SUCKS!! THIS IS WHY I DONT SHOP HERE!!"
CSM: "Oh, OK..have a nice day--see you tomorrow."
SC: "I bought this out of the 50% bin but I don't think it took 50% off the item."
CSM: "that's odd, may I see your receipt please."
SC: "No, I don't have it with me."
CSM: "oh...well, when did you buy it?"
SC: "I don't know like 15 minutes ago."
CSM: "Super let me go look up your transaction and I can help solve this for you."
SC: "What you aren't going to believe that I didn't get this at 50% off."
CSM: "I need to make sure you were charged correctly and if not, I need to make the situation right. Either way, I need to have the receipt. I will be right back."
<about 2 minutes later I return with a copy of the receipt from the journal>
CSM: "it looks like you were charge correctly for this item. See, the regular price is $4.99 and you were changed $2.49 the next line says 'you saved $2.50' that is 50% off the original price."
SC: "NO...50% of $4.99 is NOT $2.49."
CSM: "Ma'am I am not sure I follow you. The price is almost $5 and you SAVED $2.50 which is half of $5....how is this wrong?"
SC: "Oh...I guess you didn't take math in school." (storms off)
Maybe one day I will get my act together and be able to read minds...but until then I will just be wrong no matter which way I try to help the customer.
SC: "I need to return this can opener."
CSM: "Ok, sure...no problem. Thank you for having the receipt."
SC: "don't you want to know why I am returning it?"
CSM: "No, not really...from the look of the twisted handled, it looks like it is defective."
SC: "NO...it sucks....just like your attitude."
CSM: "here is your $8.93 thank you and have a nice afternoon"
SC: "Oh...that's how you THINK this ends....the damn thing didn't work and all you are giving me is my money and a smile...I want to know WHY you sell junk! I want to talk to the person that thinks it is OK to put this crap on your shelves!"
CSM:"thank you for your opinion. May I help the net person in line please?"
SC: "oh...that's it I am calling your boss....it didn't work just like you don't work well with customers."
SC: "YA...I was overcharged for a 2 liter of Coke."
CSM: "Oh no, let me look at your receipt."
<receipt flipped in face and bag with soda plopped on the counter>
SC: "SEE!! I was charged $1.79 and that is WRONG!! The sign says 5 for $5."
CSM: "Yes, the sign does say 5 for $5 but it also says 'must buy 5.' That means you need to get four more to get the sale price."
SC: "NO...I only want one and since the sign says 5 for $5 I want it for $1."
CSM: "I understand your confusion. The sign and the advert are very clear, to get the sale price you MUST but 5."
SC: "YOU SUCK! THIS STORE SUCKS!! AND YOUR SIGN SUCKS!! THIS IS WHY I DONT SHOP HERE!!"
CSM: "Oh, OK..have a nice day--see you tomorrow."
SC: "I bought this out of the 50% bin but I don't think it took 50% off the item."
CSM: "that's odd, may I see your receipt please."
SC: "No, I don't have it with me."
CSM: "oh...well, when did you buy it?"
SC: "I don't know like 15 minutes ago."
CSM: "Super let me go look up your transaction and I can help solve this for you."
SC: "What you aren't going to believe that I didn't get this at 50% off."
CSM: "I need to make sure you were charged correctly and if not, I need to make the situation right. Either way, I need to have the receipt. I will be right back."
<about 2 minutes later I return with a copy of the receipt from the journal>
CSM: "it looks like you were charge correctly for this item. See, the regular price is $4.99 and you were changed $2.49 the next line says 'you saved $2.50' that is 50% off the original price."
SC: "NO...50% of $4.99 is NOT $2.49."
CSM: "Ma'am I am not sure I follow you. The price is almost $5 and you SAVED $2.50 which is half of $5....how is this wrong?"
SC: "Oh...I guess you didn't take math in school." (storms off)
Maybe one day I will get my act together and be able to read minds...but until then I will just be wrong no matter which way I try to help the customer.
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