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The Doctor is Out (of her mind)
I get a call from a lady upset her iphone 4 has stopped working. I run through the usual troubleshooting without success and tell her that she does have a warranty, BUT she'll have to either call the iFruit company or go to an iFruit store to get a replacement.
She immediately flies off the handle, upset at being transferred around only to be told something she could have probably figured out on her own. The account notes do lend some credence to her story, she has indeed spoken to four different reps today.
I apologize profusely and say I can credit her account $30 for the inconvenience.
Her response: "That's it? Do you have any idea how much I bill an hour?"
No I don't lady, but this ain't an operating room and I ain't one of your patients. She prattled on about how "insulted" she was at being only offered $30 and told me she routinely bills $700 an hour or more for her services.
Ok, seriously? You want me to give a credit totaling more than your ENTIRE PHONE IS WORTH because you think your wireless company should pay you the same money the hospital does?
Well, as it turns out yes, seriously. She really wants that much money.
I straight up tell her that is simply not going to happen. It's $30, take it or leave it.
She starts ranting about how she's going to go to corporate and get me fired over this and hangs up.
Heaven help me if I ever end up on her operating table!
The Grinch ain't got nothing on me!
Guy calls and it wants to do an upgrade so he can get his wife an iphone 6 for Christmas. No problem! I'll just pull up the account and verify...oh wait, problem.
None of his lines can be upgraded until next August.
He could open a new line, but for that he'd need to fork out a deposit.
Cue all the bitching and whining about how he's been such a good customer and spent tons of money with us and can we pretty please with cherry on top just violate policy and give him an early upgrade?
Well, gee...let me think...NO.
Suddenly he goes from sugary sweet to mean and threatening, saying he'll take all his business to Death Star wireless if I don't find a way to make this happen for him.
We go around in circles for a few more minutes before he finally realizes he is SOL and breaks out with the gem: "I hope you're happy, you've ruined my Christmas!"
Just call me the Evil Elf.
What just happened here?
The call started off normal enough. I was talking to a woman about how she couldn't call her Red Checkmark phone with her Death Star Wireless phone. So I start in troubleshooting, asking the standard questions and despite my vocal tone not changing in the slightest she gets progressively more upset with every question.
I finish out my diagnostics and guess what? I find absolutely nothing wrong with her Red Checkmark phone. She insists there must be a problem or otherwise she could call it with her Death Star phone.
I then ask: "Have you called Death Star wireless about this?"
"NO!!"
No, of course you haven't, why would you? It's only THAT companies phone that isn't working. Surely they'd be no help at all.
So I explained to her, calmly and professionally that she might want to do that because I don't see any issues on our end.
She gets even angrier: "Fine, but if I call them and they say it's your fault, I'm switching all my lines to Short Run Wireless!! *click*
Have fun with that, psycho lady.
The Truth is Out there
Either guy this was completely stoned, completely paranoid or a healthy combination of both because he was convinced that aliens had hacked his phone and were secretly monitoring EVERYTHING HE DID.
Despite my efforts to reassure him, he could not be convinced. He openly pondered whether the aliens had got to me too and then started to wonder if he'd actually even called Red Checkmark or if the aliens were just messing with him.
Shortly after that, he decided that staying on the line was too dangerous and hung up.
O say can you Fee
I'm still trying to wrap my head around this one.
Ok, you had a bad customer service experience. I get it. The store screwed up something on your account, it took you four calls to clean up the mess and you're pretty pissed off about it.
I understand and hey, maybe we can work something out on a credit for the inconvenience.
Wait...what? You want me to credit $1200 in Early Termination Fees because of your bad experience?
$1200?!?!
Wow, buddy have you got a pair. Honestly, you'd be lucky to get 10% of that. That's all you're willing to accept? Yeah that's not going to happen.
You want my manager? Sure, but he's not going to cave to your insane, ridiculous demand either.
I get a call from a lady upset her iphone 4 has stopped working. I run through the usual troubleshooting without success and tell her that she does have a warranty, BUT she'll have to either call the iFruit company or go to an iFruit store to get a replacement.
She immediately flies off the handle, upset at being transferred around only to be told something she could have probably figured out on her own. The account notes do lend some credence to her story, she has indeed spoken to four different reps today.
I apologize profusely and say I can credit her account $30 for the inconvenience.
Her response: "That's it? Do you have any idea how much I bill an hour?"
No I don't lady, but this ain't an operating room and I ain't one of your patients. She prattled on about how "insulted" she was at being only offered $30 and told me she routinely bills $700 an hour or more for her services.
Ok, seriously? You want me to give a credit totaling more than your ENTIRE PHONE IS WORTH because you think your wireless company should pay you the same money the hospital does?
Well, as it turns out yes, seriously. She really wants that much money.
I straight up tell her that is simply not going to happen. It's $30, take it or leave it.
She starts ranting about how she's going to go to corporate and get me fired over this and hangs up.
Heaven help me if I ever end up on her operating table!
The Grinch ain't got nothing on me!
Guy calls and it wants to do an upgrade so he can get his wife an iphone 6 for Christmas. No problem! I'll just pull up the account and verify...oh wait, problem.
None of his lines can be upgraded until next August.
He could open a new line, but for that he'd need to fork out a deposit.
Cue all the bitching and whining about how he's been such a good customer and spent tons of money with us and can we pretty please with cherry on top just violate policy and give him an early upgrade?
Well, gee...let me think...NO.
Suddenly he goes from sugary sweet to mean and threatening, saying he'll take all his business to Death Star wireless if I don't find a way to make this happen for him.
We go around in circles for a few more minutes before he finally realizes he is SOL and breaks out with the gem: "I hope you're happy, you've ruined my Christmas!"
Just call me the Evil Elf.
What just happened here?
The call started off normal enough. I was talking to a woman about how she couldn't call her Red Checkmark phone with her Death Star Wireless phone. So I start in troubleshooting, asking the standard questions and despite my vocal tone not changing in the slightest she gets progressively more upset with every question.
I finish out my diagnostics and guess what? I find absolutely nothing wrong with her Red Checkmark phone. She insists there must be a problem or otherwise she could call it with her Death Star phone.
I then ask: "Have you called Death Star wireless about this?"
"NO!!"
No, of course you haven't, why would you? It's only THAT companies phone that isn't working. Surely they'd be no help at all.
So I explained to her, calmly and professionally that she might want to do that because I don't see any issues on our end.
She gets even angrier: "Fine, but if I call them and they say it's your fault, I'm switching all my lines to Short Run Wireless!! *click*
Have fun with that, psycho lady.
The Truth is Out there
Either guy this was completely stoned, completely paranoid or a healthy combination of both because he was convinced that aliens had hacked his phone and were secretly monitoring EVERYTHING HE DID.
Despite my efforts to reassure him, he could not be convinced. He openly pondered whether the aliens had got to me too and then started to wonder if he'd actually even called Red Checkmark or if the aliens were just messing with him.
Shortly after that, he decided that staying on the line was too dangerous and hung up.
O say can you Fee
I'm still trying to wrap my head around this one.
Ok, you had a bad customer service experience. I get it. The store screwed up something on your account, it took you four calls to clean up the mess and you're pretty pissed off about it.
I understand and hey, maybe we can work something out on a credit for the inconvenience.
Wait...what? You want me to credit $1200 in Early Termination Fees because of your bad experience?
$1200?!?!
Wow, buddy have you got a pair. Honestly, you'd be lucky to get 10% of that. That's all you're willing to accept? Yeah that's not going to happen.
You want my manager? Sure, but he's not going to cave to your insane, ridiculous demand either.
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