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So, Summer's hit Australia like a tonne of bricks, and suddenly the creepy bros are everywhere. In light of recent events at my store, here's a handy guide on how not to freak out your female cashier.
Are you a lonely straight male between the ages of 16 and 48? Are you mistrustful of the general female population? Have you found yourself wanting a chick who drinks beer and knows about powertools, and is possibly dangerously close to jailbait? Do you take rejection like an overtired two year old handles change?
If you answered yes, then at some point, you've probably made your way down to the chain-store DIY place that I work at to hit on one of my front end girls! If you have, then let me roll out a few reasons that you got rejected or called a creepy bastard.
Starting with:
1. Nobody here looks their age. No, that's not their fault. Blame genetics. That 20 year old girl you were hitting on, Mr 40 year old tradie? She's 15. Just outta highschool and into a technical college. She just acts older because she's gunning to take over a FEC position later this year, and she knows she's top shit in this store. Your 17 year old son can stop hitting on the current FEC too, because she's actually 24 and feeling really goddamn uncomfortable right now. Yes, she looks really young. Cursed with baby face unfortunately. Move it along.
2. You were acting like a tool earlier, and even if the object of your affection didn't see it, she sure as hell knows about it, because we get info out to each other faster than you can believe. So by all means, keep hitting on me, but realise that I know you were catcalling some really awful stuff at my younger coworker in the carpark earlier. You're now on my mental wall of shame, and on the receiving end of the most bitchy of passive bitch faces. Goodbye.
3. You're not getting the hints to move on. Hey, you might be a really nice person, and if you're a regular, you're probably on our good list. But buddy, we have a job to do right here and right now. We might be enjoying the conversation, but that line of six people behind you needs our attention more than your theories on the origins of our favorite gaming universes. Please, either accept defeat due to poor timing, or come back later and hope we're not busy then.
4. You're misconstruing our intentions. Please understand good sir, that although the girls are really nice to you here, we're literally paid to do that. It's called customer service, and the lads here are doing it too. You're just not paying attention because you don't want to play hide the sausage with them. Nope, she's not flirting with you, she wants you to buy more really expensive power tools because she has a sales goal to meet. Bye.
5. You are not taking no for an answer. So, one of the problems above has arisen. She's too young, she's busy, ect. Instead of moving along and chalking up the loss, you're hovering around her register, or her work area, peppering her with questions while she's trying to work or ring up customers, and generally just being a complete pain. This is a VERY BAD TACTIC. You've just made grade A Creeper, and those coworkers moving closer? They've seen she's uncomfortable, and they're acting as protection. Congratulations bro, you've now freaked a teenager out enough that they need protection from you.
If you can manage to not enact any of the above scenarios, congrats! You might get somebodies number! Being aware, that is, that most of the girls here already have someone. Yeah, you're not the only person who wanted a girl who knows powertools, and their partners actually met them outside of work, when they could actually relax and be themselves. Work is a bad time to hit on anybody folks, but retail is worse. Half the time, you don't really know us, so much as the personality we put on while we're serving people. Just something to keep in mind.
Are you a lonely straight male between the ages of 16 and 48? Are you mistrustful of the general female population? Have you found yourself wanting a chick who drinks beer and knows about powertools, and is possibly dangerously close to jailbait? Do you take rejection like an overtired two year old handles change?
If you answered yes, then at some point, you've probably made your way down to the chain-store DIY place that I work at to hit on one of my front end girls! If you have, then let me roll out a few reasons that you got rejected or called a creepy bastard.
Starting with:
1. Nobody here looks their age. No, that's not their fault. Blame genetics. That 20 year old girl you were hitting on, Mr 40 year old tradie? She's 15. Just outta highschool and into a technical college. She just acts older because she's gunning to take over a FEC position later this year, and she knows she's top shit in this store. Your 17 year old son can stop hitting on the current FEC too, because she's actually 24 and feeling really goddamn uncomfortable right now. Yes, she looks really young. Cursed with baby face unfortunately. Move it along.
2. You were acting like a tool earlier, and even if the object of your affection didn't see it, she sure as hell knows about it, because we get info out to each other faster than you can believe. So by all means, keep hitting on me, but realise that I know you were catcalling some really awful stuff at my younger coworker in the carpark earlier. You're now on my mental wall of shame, and on the receiving end of the most bitchy of passive bitch faces. Goodbye.
3. You're not getting the hints to move on. Hey, you might be a really nice person, and if you're a regular, you're probably on our good list. But buddy, we have a job to do right here and right now. We might be enjoying the conversation, but that line of six people behind you needs our attention more than your theories on the origins of our favorite gaming universes. Please, either accept defeat due to poor timing, or come back later and hope we're not busy then.
4. You're misconstruing our intentions. Please understand good sir, that although the girls are really nice to you here, we're literally paid to do that. It's called customer service, and the lads here are doing it too. You're just not paying attention because you don't want to play hide the sausage with them. Nope, she's not flirting with you, she wants you to buy more really expensive power tools because she has a sales goal to meet. Bye.
5. You are not taking no for an answer. So, one of the problems above has arisen. She's too young, she's busy, ect. Instead of moving along and chalking up the loss, you're hovering around her register, or her work area, peppering her with questions while she's trying to work or ring up customers, and generally just being a complete pain. This is a VERY BAD TACTIC. You've just made grade A Creeper, and those coworkers moving closer? They've seen she's uncomfortable, and they're acting as protection. Congratulations bro, you've now freaked a teenager out enough that they need protection from you.
If you can manage to not enact any of the above scenarios, congrats! You might get somebodies number! Being aware, that is, that most of the girls here already have someone. Yeah, you're not the only person who wanted a girl who knows powertools, and their partners actually met them outside of work, when they could actually relax and be themselves. Work is a bad time to hit on anybody folks, but retail is worse. Half the time, you don't really know us, so much as the personality we put on while we're serving people. Just something to keep in mind.
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