Technical difficulties...please stand by
Spoke to a guy who was trying to transfer his contacts from an old Windows phone to a Galaxy S5. As most people know, Windows and Android are separate operating systems and are not very cross compatible. Some of the newer apps are available both on Windows 8 and Android but this phone was running windows 7.5.
He didn't want to go to a store where they have a machine that can transfer contacts. I spent 35 minutes investigating every possibility that I could think of and the best that I found was a method by which he could email the contacts to himself, but only a few at a time. He was not pleased...
SC: I don't understand, it's just two phones, it should work.
Me: When going from Windows to Android or Windows to iphone or what have you there are sometimes issues that crop up. Not everything is compatible and not all apps are available on all systems.
SC: But it should work.
Me: Oftentimes it works easily but not all the time. In this case I'm afraid there's no better solution than what I've already offered. I can give you a credit because of the inconvenience. (in my defense, the Red Checkmark store had told him we could it for him in less than 15 minutes)
SC: But it should WORK!
Me:
Me: I understand where you're coming from, but it's not going to work. I'm very sorry for the misunderstanding. The credit has been applied. Is there anything else I can help you with.
SC: Apparently not. *click*
SIMple heart, SIMple mind...or not
You really suck at math don't you? I understand you think it makes sense that since you have two phones and two SIM cards I should just be able to swap them around for you without any problem but it doesn't work that way. I can't just yank a SIM card off one line without, you know, replacing it with something. The system will, for very good reason, NOT allow the same SIM card on TWO different accounts.
There is of course, an easy solution: Go to a Red Checkmark store. They'll have an extra SIM card handy they can make the switch with. Oh, you've already been to the store and they told you to call me? Well, I apologize but you were given bad information.
I understand you want me to help you but I can't. I don't have a magical 3rd SIM card to correct this problem. You don't want to drive back to the store? Understandable but you kind of NEED to, to fix your problem.
Finally, after I tell you about SIX different ways that I cannot do what you are asking of me and you must go to a store...you cuss me out and hang up.
It isn't a desk lamp sir
Guy calls in on December 26 upset that he paid to have his phone service restored four hours ago and it's still not active. Yes, I get it, that sucks. Of course one should expect our systems handle a ginormous number of activations the day after Christmas and there may be some delays.
I even told the guy I could give him a credit for the inconvenience and, well...
SC: That's not acceptable! My mother is in the hospital, I NEED my phone working!
Me: I understand your frustrations sir, but there's nothing I can do to make things move any faster.
SC: Sure there is! This is simple, just flip the switch and turn my phone on!
Me: It doesn't quite work that way. The switch has in fact already been flipped, there's just a delay in when the light comes on. If that makes sense.
SC: But you're a multi-billion dollar company!! You should be able to do this!
Me: Our system can only handle so much volume. Think of it like a traffic jam on a freeway. All you can do is give things time to thin out. I know it's frustrating but there's nothing we can do.
SC: Just flip the switch!
Me: It already is flipped.
SC: Then why can't I make calls?!?!
Me: Once again, we have a backlog in our system right now, it will take some time to get everything through. Is there anything else I can help you with today?
SC: You didn't even help me with the first thing, useless twit-- *click*
Lovestruck
This was actually a good call. I managed to get the guys phone working and he was very happy...perhaps a little too happy:
Customer: This is awesome! Woo hoo!
Me: I'm glad I could help.
C: Hey man, let me tell you something.
Me: Sure.
C: I...I love you man. I want you to know that.
Me: ...uh...thank you...
C: For real man, I love you. You're amazing.
Me: ...I, uh, appreciate that.
C: I gotta go, but thanks so much.
I might have been more responsive if he'd bought me a drink first, I'm just saying.

What is it with Florida?
This past Wednesday I took a string of three calls back to back to back, each one was a woman from Florida and each of these ladies was the very epitome of an SC: Arrogant, entitled, snooty. I can just about guarantee one of them will give me bad marks on the customer survey.
Go big or go home
SC: I've had four of these phones in the past year and a half. The issues have been non-stop and I feel I should get a free phone for the troubles.
Me: You mean a free replacement for that one or--
SC: No, NOT another one like this. A free NEW phone. Something different...like maybe an LG G3
Me: Well sir, you're seven months past your warranty date and you're not upgrade eligible yet so--
SC: I don't care about the warranty date and I don't want to pay any money for a phone. No way in hell am I paying a penny after all this mess. No, uh uh. I've been with you close to 10 years now, I've been a good customer. I want a free phone.
Me: You want a free phone?
SC: Yes. FREE. No shipping charges, no contract, no cost. Free. Do you understand that?
Me: Well, yes but I--
SC: Do not waste my time. Can I get a free phone or not--
Me: If you want--
SC: Can I get a free phone or not?
Me: (STOP interrupting me already! Holy cow.) We appreciate that you've been a good customer for so long but if you are looking for--
SC: If you can't get me a free phone, let me talk to a manager.
Me: Very well, please hold a moment.
He didn't get his free phone.
Spoke to a guy who was trying to transfer his contacts from an old Windows phone to a Galaxy S5. As most people know, Windows and Android are separate operating systems and are not very cross compatible. Some of the newer apps are available both on Windows 8 and Android but this phone was running windows 7.5.
He didn't want to go to a store where they have a machine that can transfer contacts. I spent 35 minutes investigating every possibility that I could think of and the best that I found was a method by which he could email the contacts to himself, but only a few at a time. He was not pleased...
SC: I don't understand, it's just two phones, it should work.
Me: When going from Windows to Android or Windows to iphone or what have you there are sometimes issues that crop up. Not everything is compatible and not all apps are available on all systems.
SC: But it should work.
Me: Oftentimes it works easily but not all the time. In this case I'm afraid there's no better solution than what I've already offered. I can give you a credit because of the inconvenience. (in my defense, the Red Checkmark store had told him we could it for him in less than 15 minutes)
SC: But it should WORK!
Me:

Me: I understand where you're coming from, but it's not going to work. I'm very sorry for the misunderstanding. The credit has been applied. Is there anything else I can help you with.
SC: Apparently not. *click*
SIMple heart, SIMple mind...or not
You really suck at math don't you? I understand you think it makes sense that since you have two phones and two SIM cards I should just be able to swap them around for you without any problem but it doesn't work that way. I can't just yank a SIM card off one line without, you know, replacing it with something. The system will, for very good reason, NOT allow the same SIM card on TWO different accounts.
There is of course, an easy solution: Go to a Red Checkmark store. They'll have an extra SIM card handy they can make the switch with. Oh, you've already been to the store and they told you to call me? Well, I apologize but you were given bad information.
I understand you want me to help you but I can't. I don't have a magical 3rd SIM card to correct this problem. You don't want to drive back to the store? Understandable but you kind of NEED to, to fix your problem.
Finally, after I tell you about SIX different ways that I cannot do what you are asking of me and you must go to a store...you cuss me out and hang up.

It isn't a desk lamp sir
Guy calls in on December 26 upset that he paid to have his phone service restored four hours ago and it's still not active. Yes, I get it, that sucks. Of course one should expect our systems handle a ginormous number of activations the day after Christmas and there may be some delays.
I even told the guy I could give him a credit for the inconvenience and, well...
SC: That's not acceptable! My mother is in the hospital, I NEED my phone working!
Me: I understand your frustrations sir, but there's nothing I can do to make things move any faster.
SC: Sure there is! This is simple, just flip the switch and turn my phone on!
Me: It doesn't quite work that way. The switch has in fact already been flipped, there's just a delay in when the light comes on. If that makes sense.
SC: But you're a multi-billion dollar company!! You should be able to do this!
Me: Our system can only handle so much volume. Think of it like a traffic jam on a freeway. All you can do is give things time to thin out. I know it's frustrating but there's nothing we can do.
SC: Just flip the switch!
Me: It already is flipped.
SC: Then why can't I make calls?!?!
Me: Once again, we have a backlog in our system right now, it will take some time to get everything through. Is there anything else I can help you with today?
SC: You didn't even help me with the first thing, useless twit-- *click*
Lovestruck
This was actually a good call. I managed to get the guys phone working and he was very happy...perhaps a little too happy:
Customer: This is awesome! Woo hoo!
Me: I'm glad I could help.
C: Hey man, let me tell you something.
Me: Sure.
C: I...I love you man. I want you to know that.
Me: ...uh...thank you...
C: For real man, I love you. You're amazing.
Me: ...I, uh, appreciate that.
C: I gotta go, but thanks so much.
I might have been more responsive if he'd bought me a drink first, I'm just saying.

What is it with Florida?
This past Wednesday I took a string of three calls back to back to back, each one was a woman from Florida and each of these ladies was the very epitome of an SC: Arrogant, entitled, snooty. I can just about guarantee one of them will give me bad marks on the customer survey.
Go big or go home
SC: I've had four of these phones in the past year and a half. The issues have been non-stop and I feel I should get a free phone for the troubles.
Me: You mean a free replacement for that one or--
SC: No, NOT another one like this. A free NEW phone. Something different...like maybe an LG G3
Me: Well sir, you're seven months past your warranty date and you're not upgrade eligible yet so--
SC: I don't care about the warranty date and I don't want to pay any money for a phone. No way in hell am I paying a penny after all this mess. No, uh uh. I've been with you close to 10 years now, I've been a good customer. I want a free phone.
Me: You want a free phone?
SC: Yes. FREE. No shipping charges, no contract, no cost. Free. Do you understand that?
Me: Well, yes but I--
SC: Do not waste my time. Can I get a free phone or not--
Me: If you want--
SC: Can I get a free phone or not?
Me: (STOP interrupting me already! Holy cow.) We appreciate that you've been a good customer for so long but if you are looking for--
SC: If you can't get me a free phone, let me talk to a manager.
Me: Very well, please hold a moment.
He didn't get his free phone.

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