First Suck o' Spring

[Argabarga]

So, just chilling the other morning at the front desk, watching the phones while the rest of management had a crisis on their hands with a customer who's car was damaged during their tow and was now threatening them with a lawsuit for "emotional distress" over that fact even though we already had the "yes, we did that, sorry" paperwork written up and a fair estimate from our bodyshop as to the extent of the damage and exactly what would be needed to fix it that they could give to the manager of the body shop of their choice to order the parts and bill us, since they probably weren't going to let us do the repair work. (But sometimes they do). And by chilling, I mean as in lounging about. not as in freezin' me nuts off, as that weather has apparently finally admitted defeat and left us in glorious spring for once, it's up to 40 degrees now!

And that's when the phone rang with a very very angry man on the other end.... no sooner is the receiver up than the hot blast of venom comes pouring froth. (I meant to say forth, but you know what, that works too!)

- DID YOU JUST TAKE MY F*CKIN' CAR?!

Woah, there's cut to the chase, and then there's cut to the chase so quickly and deeply that I think the blood is coming out in splurts! This guy doesn't mess around!

- Please, no swearing Sir, now, what kind of car is it?

- "It's a Tan Accord!!!"

- Okay, I have one of those here from Arnold Plaza, is that where you were parked?

- "Yes! YOU HAD NO RIGHT TO TAKE MY F*CKING CAR!!!"

-Sir, you were...

- YOU BROKE THE LAW!!! YOU BETTER HOPE YOU DIDN'T F*CK UP MY CAR! BECAUSE YOU HAD NO RIGHT!!! NO RIGHT!!!!

-Sir, I...

- "NO RIGHT!! YOU CAN'T JUST TAKE PEOPLE'S CARS!!!"

- Sir, you need to listen. First of all, I didn't take your car, I've been sitting here at the disptach desk all morning, so there's no point in yelling at me. Secondly, you were called into us by the property owner. Arnold Plaza is a private apartment building with a private parking lot, and you parked there without their permission. That's why you were towed, and it was completely legal. It will be $130 to pick up if you get it before midnight.

-130?! ARE YOU SERIOUS? THIS IS SUCH A DICK MOVE!!!!

*No, towing you off someone else's property at their request is not a dick move. I could show you a REAL dick move, but I'd probably get arrested*

-The prices are set by ordinance, sir, do you know where we are located?

-NO! I DON'T KNOW WHERE THE F*CK YOU ARE!! I'M NOT FROM AROUND HERE!

-Well, I can tell you how to get here.

*CLICK*


Yes, that's right, he hung up. He said he didn't know how to find us, and when offered help, he declined, rather forcefully and vociferously.

Oh well, much like an itchy genital rash, it's not like I was looking FORWARD to seeing him. Uh oh, phone's ringing again....

-"I'M WALKING DOWN THIS STREET NOW!!! AM I GOING THE RIGHT WAY???!"

-Uh, what street? The one in front of Arnold Plaza?

-"IT'S COLLEGE STREET!!! DID I GO FAR ENOUGH YET?"

Are your feet wet with saltwater? No? Then you haven't gone FAR ENOUGH for me, amigo. In fact, on that note, why don't you just keep going until everyone around you is speaking Spanish, that's at least as far as Texas, right? Good enough for me. Too bad I can't do that, he might listen, and then his surviving relatives may sue me, right after miss emotional distress... *sigh* be civil....

-Yes, you're going the right way, take that street down to the traffic light on Main St, turn to your left and go up the hill and we're at the top.

-WELL, YOU'RE JUST LUCKY I HAVE MY MOM'S CARD ON ME! BECAUSE I AIN'T GOT 130 BUCKS, AND IF I DIDN'T WE'D HAVE WORDS!!!!!

*CLICK*

What a shame, never had a chance to warn him we don't take other people's credit cards if they're not right there in front of us... Sadly, I wasn't there when he finally made it in, I excused myself to go make a parking meter check, looking for cars on the hot sheet with too many unpaid tickets (we've got 4 of our biggest offenders off the books this week, warm temps makes the worms come out!), so I missed any additional pyrotechnics, or moving dicks.

[Akasa]

You are mean not sticking around for the rest of the story!

[Argabarga]

He most likely managed to get some cash wired to him, because the car was gone when I got back.

Apparently, he didn't want to call Momsy because he'd already told her he was someplace OTHER than where he got towed from, according to the person who did the transaction, but hearing only one-side of the conversation, exactly WHAT the juicy possibly-scandalous implications were, went unknown.

[eltf177]

How many levels of complete fail here?

[taxguykarl]

Parking where he shouldn't-1
Swearing at the person who could help him-1
Not waiting for directions to the tow area-1
Start off walking without said directions-1
Trying to pay with someone else's credit card-1

Adds up to 5.

[wolfie]

-"IT'S COLLEGE STREET!!! DID I GO FAR ENOUGH YET?"

Are your feet wet with saltwater? No? Then you haven't gone FAR ENOUGH for me, amigo.

Argabarga, I'm disappointed. You'd consider his feet being wet with salt water "far enough"? I thought your minimum would be his hair being wet with salt water.

[Jay 2K Winger]

Parking where he shouldn't-1
Swearing at the person who could help him-1
Not waiting for directions to the tow area-1
Start off walking without said directions-1
Trying to pay with someone else's credit card-1

Adds up to 5.

Arguing about the legality of the tow-1
Not waiting for Arga to get back so we could get part 2-1
Woke up this morning-1
Got born-1

...I could go on.

[Shyla]

That's a pretty decent walk from where you are to saltwater.

[rvdammit]

Argabarga, I'm disappointed. You'd consider his feet being wet with salt water "far enough"? I thought your minimum would be his hair being wet with salt water.

My assumption was floaty shoes

[wolfie]

If only his feet are wet, he doesn't have his mouth and nose under water, so that's one idiot who's not about to remove himself from the gene pool by drowning - i.e. he hasn't gone far enough.

[MoonCat]

Oooh, he threatened you with HAVING WORDS!!!

Scary!!!

[earl colby pottinger]

I thought

Argabarga, I'm disappointed. You'd consider his feet being wet with salt water "far enough"? I thought your minimum would be his hair being wet with salt water.

Once the feet are wet with water, it is time to throw in the high tension wires.

Or is that going too far?

[El Pollo Guerrera]

-WELL, YOU'RE JUST LUCKY I HAVE MY MOM'S CARD ON ME! BECAUSE I AIN'T GOT 130 BUCKS, AND IF I DIDN'T WE'D HAVE WORDS!!!!!

I think I've got a few words for him...

- "Awareness", as in being aware of the signage of the lot/location he had parked and what the rules were.

- "Responsibility", as in his being responsible for this predicament for not paying attention to the rules.

- "Acceptance", learning to accept that he was in the wrong.

- "Manners", not behaving like a belligerent bell-end.

- "Ecclesiastical", of or relating to the church or clergy.

- "Funambulist", a tight-rope walker.

- "Dendrochronology", the science dealing with the study of the annual rings of trees in determining the dates and chronological order of past events.

[Shieldbreaker]

Argh! Argabarga that's how I felt after reading this post. Been looking toward to your posts and then this. It was going to a strip club, enough to get you interested but no payoff. Heh. Look forward to your next post.