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So, dealing with people and technology always draws out some, let's say 'interesting' people with a variety of theories as to the woes being inflicted upon them. Some of my favorites:
'My ex (whatever) is hacking my computer and messing with me'
'The government is spying on me / out to get me'
'Someone keeps getting into my computer and deleting files'
'I know that someone has control of my computer because the mouse keeps jumping around while I'm typing'
'So and so has been breaking into my house and keeps changing the password on my computer'
and so on and so forth. Normally you just smile and nod, neither confirming their delusions nor refuting them. After all, maybe the government really is spying on them. If so, there's nothing I could do to detect it or do anything about it. As for the rest of it, either they have a remote desktop access program on their computer (a big, bulky program that allows other people control of your computer) or they don't.
It's obviously a bit more complex than that, but suffice to say many more people think they are the target of persecution than actually are, and in most cases their woes are in fact self inflicted. Regardless, such claims are squarely under the jurisdiction of law enforcement. Even if there is veracity to your claims, there's only so much I can do when you claim someone is routinely breaking into your home when you're not there. Change and upgrade your locks, don't complain to me.
But this client easily took the cake. She didn't have a tinfoil hat, she was bequeathed the tinfoil crown, to rule over all lesser dabblers in paranoia. I'll try to keep this as close to her exact wording as possible.
Me: Hi, this is (Me), I understand you need assistance with your computer?
TC (Tinfoil Crown): Yes, kinda. You see, my grand daughter is cyber stalking me. She keeps sending me emails from other people's email accounts, and she keeps hacking into my computer, and she's hacked my stereo system, and I'm pretty sure she has bugged my house with her and my grandson's iPad. He's here now, and he has his iPad, should I not have let it back in the house? (no pauses, ever) She's been doing this for a while, and I know it's her, and I've reported it to the police, but they think she's not doing anything and she's just a normal little girl, but I know better. I know she's doing it and I've made her mother take her to a psychologist but he says there's nothing wrong with her but I know she's hacking my hard drive because I keep getting emails from people and I know they're from her. And she keeps mentioning things like "I know (person) is coming over" in her emails but she shouldn't be able to know that unless she was listening to what I was saying so I know she's bugged my house. I changed my email address and I haven't given that to anyone but I am afraid she'll find it anyway, because I accidentally said it over the phone, and she's hacked my phones and is cyber stalking me through them. I changed my phone number but I accidentally said the new phone number while I was in my house so I'm afraid she might have gotten it. I know that you can use iPads as bugs so is there anything I can do to stop her from using my grandson's iPad to spy on me? Also I'm pretty sure she's filled my computer with viruses.
I eventually got her on track, took care of what I could take care of, repeatedly insisted that anything beyond that was a matter for law enforcement, and all was well. But still, if I understand her claims, her 11 year old grand daughter is:
- Tapping her phones
- Bugging her house
- Hacking into her computer
- Hacking into multiple other people's email accounts
- Remotely controlling her BOOMBOX STEREO
- Successfully using her grandson's iPad, which he is actively using, as a surveillance device
- "Cyber stalking" her
And yet the police and a psychologist find no evidence of this, and find there's nothing wrong with her. Sure, possibility A is that your granddaughter is just *that good*, and is capable of Anything, and is pure evil
. But did it ever occur to you that possibility B is that the psychologist was examining the wrong person?
'My ex (whatever) is hacking my computer and messing with me'
'The government is spying on me / out to get me'
'Someone keeps getting into my computer and deleting files'
'I know that someone has control of my computer because the mouse keeps jumping around while I'm typing'
'So and so has been breaking into my house and keeps changing the password on my computer'
and so on and so forth. Normally you just smile and nod, neither confirming their delusions nor refuting them. After all, maybe the government really is spying on them. If so, there's nothing I could do to detect it or do anything about it. As for the rest of it, either they have a remote desktop access program on their computer (a big, bulky program that allows other people control of your computer) or they don't.
It's obviously a bit more complex than that, but suffice to say many more people think they are the target of persecution than actually are, and in most cases their woes are in fact self inflicted. Regardless, such claims are squarely under the jurisdiction of law enforcement. Even if there is veracity to your claims, there's only so much I can do when you claim someone is routinely breaking into your home when you're not there. Change and upgrade your locks, don't complain to me.
But this client easily took the cake. She didn't have a tinfoil hat, she was bequeathed the tinfoil crown, to rule over all lesser dabblers in paranoia. I'll try to keep this as close to her exact wording as possible.
Me: Hi, this is (Me), I understand you need assistance with your computer?
TC (Tinfoil Crown): Yes, kinda. You see, my grand daughter is cyber stalking me. She keeps sending me emails from other people's email accounts, and she keeps hacking into my computer, and she's hacked my stereo system, and I'm pretty sure she has bugged my house with her and my grandson's iPad. He's here now, and he has his iPad, should I not have let it back in the house? (no pauses, ever) She's been doing this for a while, and I know it's her, and I've reported it to the police, but they think she's not doing anything and she's just a normal little girl, but I know better. I know she's doing it and I've made her mother take her to a psychologist but he says there's nothing wrong with her but I know she's hacking my hard drive because I keep getting emails from people and I know they're from her. And she keeps mentioning things like "I know (person) is coming over" in her emails but she shouldn't be able to know that unless she was listening to what I was saying so I know she's bugged my house. I changed my email address and I haven't given that to anyone but I am afraid she'll find it anyway, because I accidentally said it over the phone, and she's hacked my phones and is cyber stalking me through them. I changed my phone number but I accidentally said the new phone number while I was in my house so I'm afraid she might have gotten it. I know that you can use iPads as bugs so is there anything I can do to stop her from using my grandson's iPad to spy on me? Also I'm pretty sure she's filled my computer with viruses.
I eventually got her on track, took care of what I could take care of, repeatedly insisted that anything beyond that was a matter for law enforcement, and all was well. But still, if I understand her claims, her 11 year old grand daughter is:
- Tapping her phones
- Bugging her house
- Hacking into her computer
- Hacking into multiple other people's email accounts
- Remotely controlling her BOOMBOX STEREO
- Successfully using her grandson's iPad, which he is actively using, as a surveillance device
- "Cyber stalking" her
And yet the police and a psychologist find no evidence of this, and find there's nothing wrong with her. Sure, possibility A is that your granddaughter is just *that good*, and is capable of Anything, and is pure evil
. But did it ever occur to you that possibility B is that the psychologist was examining the wrong person?
"Ok, not a problem. Either way, since you use an external mouse, let's disable that touchpad just to be safe."
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