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Congrats, we have a new rule because of you. (Warning: Gross)
Bleargh, alright. So, last night I was working a closing shift. Still a public holiday, and I'm working returns counter. Guy brings in a toilet seat, in box, but the plastic wrapping is removed. Has receipt. I look at the receipt, and the damn thing is over $150. For a toilet seat. 
Anyway. Guy says his toilet seat is missing the plastic pins. Fair enough. Returns policy on toilet seats is: Once it's out of the plastic wrapping, it's a non refundable item unless it's faulty in some way. I tell him to go grab another one while someone from plumbing checks it out and ok's the return.
The plumber comes down. Plumber is a couple of years younger than me with a really flat tone of voice. Nice guy, but sounds a little sarcastic. I pull the seat out of its box and...it's just covered in pubic hair.
It's just all over the damn place. No piss stains or anything, but wtf? Why?!? Plumber has to handle it too, trying to find the missing pin.
Plumber is suitably grossed out. Not only that, but all the pins are there. Guy comes back, iritable plumber asks what bloody pins are missing. Guy then changes the story, it's actually the broken hinge. And the hinge actually is broken. He gets a return, and we bin the seat. Plumber wanders off to douse himself in anti bac. While I'm desperately doing the same, the guy asks me snottily:
"Is he always this rude?!"
WTF, are you joking? We just had to deal with your pube covered ass-protector, and you're giving us the customer equivalent of "You mad bro? Why you mad tho?"
After biting back every single sarcastic answer I could think of, I told the guy I don't know if plumber is usually rude because I don't talk to him a lot. Customer wanders off, I die on the inside, and proceed to make the call to our boss about what happened in case I need to cover butt for myself and plumber. Boss is suitably disgusted, and now we have a new rule: We'll refund your gross, broken toilet seat....but you have to take the damn thing with you when you leave.
Anyway. Guy says his toilet seat is missing the plastic pins. Fair enough. Returns policy on toilet seats is: Once it's out of the plastic wrapping, it's a non refundable item unless it's faulty in some way. I tell him to go grab another one while someone from plumbing checks it out and ok's the return.
The plumber comes down. Plumber is a couple of years younger than me with a really flat tone of voice. Nice guy, but sounds a little sarcastic. I pull the seat out of its box and...it's just covered in pubic hair.
It's just all over the damn place. No piss stains or anything, but wtf? Why?!? Plumber has to handle it too, trying to find the missing pin.Plumber is suitably grossed out. Not only that, but all the pins are there. Guy comes back, iritable plumber asks what bloody pins are missing. Guy then changes the story, it's actually the broken hinge. And the hinge actually is broken. He gets a return, and we bin the seat. Plumber wanders off to douse himself in anti bac. While I'm desperately doing the same, the guy asks me snottily:
"Is he always this rude?!"
WTF, are you joking? We just had to deal with your pube covered ass-protector, and you're giving us the customer equivalent of "You mad bro? Why you mad tho?"
After biting back every single sarcastic answer I could think of, I told the guy I don't know if plumber is usually rude because I don't talk to him a lot. Customer wanders off, I die on the inside, and proceed to make the call to our boss about what happened in case I need to cover butt for myself and plumber. Boss is suitably disgusted, and now we have a new rule: We'll refund your gross, broken toilet seat....but you have to take the damn thing with you when you leave.
He is my Black Dragon (and yes, a good one) strong, protective, the guardian. I am his Silver Dragon, always by his side, shining for him, cherishing him.
to get this out of my head...
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