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Computer says you LIE!

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  • Computer says you LIE!

    I was in the store aisle ordering product off the shelf tags. Lady approaches and asks about a product. She insists the item has been empty for two weeks.

    “….blah blah blah.....always out....blah blah blah....two weeks it's out!....blah blah blah...why blah blah blah...week after week....blah blah blah...two weeks!! blah blah out!!...in here everyday...blah blah blah”

    As she was going on and on about it I decided to research the item history with my handheld. I was expecting the machine to show that the item was discontinued and no longer available. I was wrong, so I pulled up the last seven days of sales on the item. Well ,lo and behold, it showed that we sold 2 units Tuesday, 1 unit Monday, 5 units Sunday, 3 units Saturday...etc... We sold some everyday that week, so this lady was obviously lying about it being out a long time. Then I scanned it to see when it was ordered last. It had been ordered yesterday, which meant it was probably sitting in back in the load. But I sure as hell wasn't going to go dig thru the load looking for it, not for this lady. So I told her it'll be on the shelf tomorrow.

    “blah blah blah...shouldn't be out..blah blah blah....every time blah blah blah...always empty...two weeks blah blah blah”

    I thought of showing her the handheld screen that said we'd been selling the item all week and she was wrong about us being out a long time, but I had the feeling she wouldn't react well. Facts and angry customers don't mix.

  • #2
    She'd probably say the computer was wrong, because she knows what she saw!
    "I look at the stars. It's a clear night and the Milky Way seems so near. That's where I'll be going soon. "We are all star stuff." I suddenly remember Delenn's line from Joe's script. Not a bad prospect. I am not afraid. In the meantime, let me close my eyes and sense the beauty around me. And take that breath under the dark sky full of stars. Breathe in. Breathe out. That's all."
    -Mira Furlan

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    • #3
      The computer is god. Always believe the computer.

      Actually, I know my computer can sometimes be a damned liar. But it always lies the same way. It's not very good at it.

      Comment


      • #4
        Quoth Aria View Post
        Actually, I know my computer can sometimes be a damned liar. But it always lies the same way. It's not very good at it.
        Yeah, the funny thing about computers is that they (generally) do EXACTLY what you tell them to do...

        That can make software engineering "interesting" at times. It can also make computer usage interesting sometimes.


        And it usually gives you what you ask for...based on the data. So if the data is bad, you get a bad answer...
        Skilled programmers aren't cheap. Cheap programmers aren't skilled.

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        • #5
          Quoth Aria View Post
          The computer is god. Always believe the computer.
          The computer is your friend. Only a Commie traitor would say otherwise.
          Any fool can piss on the floor. It takes a talented SC to shit on the ceiling.

          Comment


          • #6
            Quoth Aria View Post
            The computer is god. Always believe the computer.

            Actually, I know my computer can sometimes be a damned liar. But it always lies the same way. It's not very good at it.
            Only a Commie mutant traitor would say Friend Computer is a damned liar. Please report for execution at once.

            Have a nice day!
            They say that God only gives us what we can handle. Apparently, God thinks I'm a bad ass.

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            • #7
              I, for one, welcome our computer overlords.
              This site proves Corey Taylor right. Man really is a "four letter word."

              I'm now using my Deviant Art page to post my humor.

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              • #8
                Quoth catcul View Post
                I, for one, welcome our computer overlords.
                As long as they're subject to the "Rules of Robotics".
                Skilled programmers aren't cheap. Cheap programmers aren't skilled.

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                • #9
                  Computer says no.
                  To right the countless wrongs of our days... We shine this light of true redemption, that this place may become as paradise...Oh, what a wonderful world such would be...

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                  • #10
                    Quoth mjr View Post
                    As long as they're subject to the "Rules of Robotics".
                    You obviously have read Isaac Assmov"s robot stories. Most of them are about how the "3 Laws of Robotics" go awry.
                    "I don't have to be petty. The Universe does that for me."

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                    • #11
                      Quoth Sapphire Silk View Post
                      Only a Commie mutant traitor would say Friend Computer is a damned liar. Please report for execution at once.
                      Friend Computer is not lying. Friend Computer is basing its decisions on inaccurate data supplied by a Commie mutant traitor.
                      Any fool can piss on the floor. It takes a talented SC to shit on the ceiling.

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                      • #12
                        Quoth Mr Hero View Post
                        Computer says no.

                        Beat me to it! 😁
                        When you start at zero, everything's progress.

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                        • #13
                          Computer malfunctions, and the result is instantly believed.

                          Computer works, and it's looked upon with suspicion.
                          - They say nothing good happens at 2AM, they're right, I happen at 2AM.

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                          • #14
                            Playing devil's advocate here, but the shelf could have been empty each time she came in. I know my local grocery store (big box blue and yellow) cannot always be out of a particular item and the shelf has actually been bare every day of the week. I suspect they are only loading 1 or 2 on the shelf and by the time I get there, they've been bought. It drives me bonkers to constantly be on the lookout for something and having to stop every single day until I get lucky enough to find it on the shelf. When I do, I usually buy all they have to hold me over.

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                            • #15
                              Quoth Luna Baby View Post
                              When I do, I usually buy all they have to hold me over.
                              That is what everyone else does because the store never orders enough in the first place.
                              "I don't have to be petty. The Universe does that for me."

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