I love correspondence.

[ominousoat]

I do, I really do. Here's a list of the best ones I have received out of the huge pile of corrspondence on my desk:

**

A bill slip with simply a credit card number written on it. No explanation, nothing noted on the account, no expiration date, no card type, no security code. Just a credit card number and no payment. Good luck getting that bill paid off!

**

We received a letter stating that "The girl that called me had no tact or courtesy, and she wouldn't let me speak, and then she hung up on me!" I thought that was odd so I looked to see who called her. Sure enough, it was our computer, the one that starts each call by saying "This is an automated call"

**

Note printed on remittence slip: "Why don't you lower your rates?"

Hey! Why don't we! Thank you David! I never thought of that, and since I am in complete control of every factor that controls our rights I go out and fix that right away! Why didn't I think of this earlier? Of course people want lower rates. Silly me.

**

Sticky note on envelope: "This Escrow is very high, companyes (sic) have been sued for less!"

Wow, so we have a twofer here! A vague threat as well as an attempt to use fancy pants business language. However, the flaw here is: He sent us this extra money for his budget plan, and he doesn't "have to" per say, and he certainly has no grounds for a law suit. And, the formal definition of Escrow is:

1. a contract, deed, bond, or other written agreement deposited with a third person, by whom it is to be delivered to the grantee or promisee on the fulfillment of some condition.

Only two people involved her Norman, but nice try anyway.

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"common sense dictates that this is not right!"

'nuff said.

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(in scribbly, block letters) "What happened to my even pay? I trying to charge yols" (sic)

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(scrawled on shut off notice ) "Shutting my gas off is illegal, immoral, and just plain wrong!"

As my English teacher would say: Please note your sources.

**

There's a street named "Shaffmaster" out there in the world. Just think about it. It's almost as good as "Rambo" street.

**

Finally: "I am not responsible for this address, it belongs to Bob Smith in Monroe, call him."

Thanks, let me grab my Michigan phone book and call all of the Bob Smiths in one of the largest towns in the state.

[Imogene]

Sticky note on envelope: "This Escrow is very high, companyes (sic) have been sued for less!"

You should see how many calls I get in a day from loan originators who're angry/shocked at the 6.625 Margin hit on their exceptions.
You would also not believe how many of them try to tell me it's "Illegal in Florida to charge that high a margin". Great. Problem is, you've just called TEXAS! Moran.
I have two different places to refer callers for that... issue. Pricing Support (who will tell them they need to speak to us) or to their managers, which usually elicits a "Why my manager?"
"So you can discuss whether or not you want to continue with the file."
"Will changing the loan program lower the margin?"
"This is the point in the call where I alert you to the fact that: I'm not an underwriter, and They don't want me giving you an answer, particularly since I have no f*cking clue. They know You'll hold Them to whatever answer I give you."