Premature vocal ejaculation

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

So tonight I was working my first closing shift in over a year, when a call for the domestics department came over the PA. Since I was currently the only person on the salesfloor, except for a n00b working his first shift, I took the call.

Me: Hello, domestics, I.P Freleigh speaking , how can I help you tonight?
SC: YOU RIPPED ME OFF! YOU OVERCHARGED ME! I BOUGHT A DUVET SET ON SATURDAY AND IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE 55% OFF! IT WAS REGULARLY $79.99 AND MY RECEIPT SAYS YOU CHARGED ME $49.99! I WANT A REFUND FOR THE DIFFERENCE!

(Very good! You know basic math! 55% off 79.99 is not 49.99. You want a cookie or something?)

Now, I knew there was no way her duvet set was supposed to be 55% off. I put up all the signs for the sheet sets yesterday morning and the only set that has matching duvets is a rather pricy, 300-thread count set which did not scan up at 55% off. The sets that were supposed to be 55% off only had a 200-thread count, and they were all solid colored. I suspected the caller was trying to put one over on us, but I refrained from calling her a scamming horse turd drenched in pig vomit.

Me: I will go to the service desk and see if they can look up the ad price, because I cannot look up expired ads in my scanner.
SC: YOU DO THAT NOW! BLARGLE BLARGLE BLARGLE!

I went up to the service desk, and the employees up there assured me she had been charged the correct price for her duvet set.

Me: I am told that set was in fact supposed to be $49.99. I suppose it's possible a customer put it in the wrong spot.
SC: WELL THEN YOU HAVE TO GIVE IT TO ME FOR 55% OFF! THAT'S THE LAW! I KNOW MY RIGHTS! I BET THE ATTORNEY GENERAL WOULD LIKE TO KNOW HOW YOU CHEAT AND RIP OFF CUSTOMERS!

(Boy, I just LOVE it when the legal eagles call in to regale me with the finer points of the law! So tell me F. Lee Bailey, if I invent a device that stabs people like yourself in the face over the phone, is that first degree intentional homicide or just a mere manslaughter?)

Me: Okay, would you mind telling me what your duvet set looks like? What color is it.
SC: IT'S BEIGE AND IT HAS STRIPES! (thereby telling me it was the more expensive set).
Me: Actually, that set is with our premier sheets, and they were not included in the 55% off sale. The sheets that were 55% off were solid colored and they had a lowed thread count. You were charged the correct price for your duvet set.
SC: HARUMPH! WELL YOU NEED TO MAKE YOUR PRICES CLEARER THEN! *click!

Heh heh. Score one for I.P. Freleigh

[powerboy]

I.P. Freleigh Now thats funny

[mariamousie1]

SC: YOU DO THAT NOW! BLARGLE BLARGLE BLARGLE!


ROFL I'm making that my personal motto!

[lordlundar]

So tell me F. Lee Bailey, if I invent a device that stabs people like yourself in the face over the phone, is that first degree intentional homicide or just a mere manslaughter?)

justifiable homicide perhaps?

[Jack7957]

So tell me F. Lee Bailey, if I invent a device that stabs people like yourself in the face over the phone, is that first degree intentional homicide or just a mere manslaughter?

Remember, I am not a lawyer, and have not stayed in a Holiday Inn Express in over two weeks....

Manslaughter I believe would be hard to prove, based on you knew the device would cause harm, and because phones are put near the ear, there's a chance they would be stabbed through the ear, and into the brain. Homicide would probably be more of a stretch though to prove.

[Becks]

F. Lee Bailey

Is he still alive?