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Manager calls keep life interesting....
Been through the desert on a phone with no name...
Me: Hello, my name is CC, I'm a Supervisor with <red checkmark> you asked to speak with me?
SC: Yes, I f**king asked to speak with you. I'm in the middle of a desert and I have no signal. Your f**king service sucks.
Me:
(...I believe I've found your problem...)
Me: The middle of a desert?
SC: Pretty much, I'm in XXXX, Nevada and I have no bars!
Me: Aside from a few well populated areas in Nevada...Vegas, Reno and Carson City for example there are some weak spots in the coverage out there. It is as you say, pretty much a desert.
SC: And how is that my fault?
Me: Sir?
SC: It sounds like you're trying to blame ME for these problems!
Me: Did you create the desert?
SC: Did I...What the hell are you talking about it? I don't care for your tone.
Me: I wasn't aware I had a tone but regardless my point was you are experiencing signal issues due to natural phenomena. There's no one to blame here.
SC: No, you're wrong. I could get signal here last week, why the hell can't I get it now?!
Me: You're in a soft coverage area, that means the wireless signal can easily be affected by all manner of outside interference. Likely the last time you were out there, there was less interference.
SC: Buddy, I don't need a crash course on how cell towers work, I just need my service fixed, now if possible.
Me: I can reset your phone on the towers which may improve things slightly but there's really not much else I can do. There just aren't many towers out there.
SC: Well there should be!! What about those maps you show all over TV that have practically the whole damned country in red? There should be towers on every corner out here!
Me: It's not really financially viable to build a bunch of towers in the desert.
SC: I don't f**king care, I'm the customer. I'm paying for a service and it's your job to provide it.
Me: I can't pull a cell phone tower out of thin air sir. If you want I can add this location to the list for consideration of future cell towers. (NOTE: List does not actually exist, this is just something I say to customers to make them think I'm trying my best to help. In reality, we do have a network team that makes decisions on where to add towers, but they sure as hell don't take suggestions from us)
SC: So basically, I'm stuck with this shitty ass coverage and there's nothing you can do?
Me: I'm afraid not.
SC: Will I be compensated for this?
Me: Compensated?
SC: Yes, compensated. You do know what that means right? I pay for a service but I can't get the service so I shouldn't have to pay. Simple.
Me: We could look at a credit if the lack of signal was due to a network outage but in this case we are just dealing with the reality of trying to use a phone in the desert.
SC: You better not be about to tell me you can't give me a credit.
Me: That' what I was getting at, yes.
SC: F**k you, give me a credit!
Me: No.
SC: DO IT!!
Me: No
SC: DO IT NOW!
Me: No
SC: F**K you! *click*
You what?!
A device trade in is a simple process. We send you a phone, you send the other one back. Obviously we're not going to wait forever you to send it back. If it's not received within 30 days you WILL be charged.
This manager call comes to me courtesy of a guy upset we won't take the non return charge off his bill. He actually DID return the phone...it just took him 72 days.
Me: This is CC, I'm a manager at <red checkmark> you asked to speak with me?
SC: Yes, this phone return charge on my bill is bullshit! I sent the phone back. Do you hear me? SENT IT BACK!
Me: I understand you're frustrated sir but I promise we'll work through this ok? Now, I do see where you sent us the phone back but the deadline was Day X and you sent it back to us 42 days later on Day Y.
SC: Yeah I know, it took me awhile. I'm sorry.
Me: May I ask why it took you so long?
SC: I just didn't feel like it.
Me: *record scratch* I'm sorry, what did you say?
SC: I just didn't feel like sending the phone back. What can I say? I'm lazy sometimes.
(...you think?!...)
Me: Well that's not really a valid reason for any kind of exception. I can't credit the charge just because you didn't feel like sending it back.
SC: But you HAVE the phone!
Me: Yes, but you broke the terms of the trade in you agreed to by not sending the phone back in 30 days. Think about it this way. You charge some things to a credit card then don't pay the bill for two and a half months. Do you really think the credit card company will be nice and waive the late fees for you even after you tell them there was no real reason why you waited so long?
SC: Yes, I think they would and I think you should.
Me: Why?
SC: Because I'm the customer and the customer is always right!
Me: I'm sorry, we don't follow that particular policy here at <red checkmark>
(I swear I could almost HEAR the catbutt face through the line...have I mentioned how much I enjoy being a manager?
)
SC: Huh?
Me: We have no policy here that states the customer is always right, that means these charges are valid and you'll have to pay them.
SC: Maybe I'll just go to <short run> wireless then? How would you like that?
Me: You can if you choose sir, but I promise they have deadlines too.
SC: So you're just going to let me leave huh?
Me: Of course we don't want you to go but there is nothing we can do about this charge.
SC: Fine. Screw you people, I'm going to <short run>!
Me: Would you like the cancellation effective today or at the end of your billing cycle?
SC :*click*
How about No?
This woman has had an account with <red checkmark> for a long time and is marked internally as a valuable account. That means I have more flexibility on policy exceptions but it only goes so far...
Me: Hello, this is CC, I'm a <manager> at Red Checkmark, you asked to speak with me?
SC: Now listen up and listen good because I'm only going to say this once. I have been on the phone for over three hours now. I've talked to representative after representative after representative and nothing is being done. I don't want to go back over everything that's happened. It's all in the notes. The bottom line is this: I want THREE free phones, one for every line on my account and I want $200 taken off the bill. Can you make that happen?
Me: We can certainly discuss-
SC: Can you make that happen?
Me: If I could start by asking you--
SC: Can you make that happen? YES OR NO?
Me: I can offer you--
SC: YES OR NO?!
Me: No. Not when you keep interrupting me and not letting me speak.
SC: Then let me speak with your manager.
Me: My manager does not take calls but if you want I can give you his email and he can follow up with you.
SC: Fine. Give it to me.
Me: It's bill.lumbergh@redcheckmark.com (Note: what I actually gave her IS a working address, but it's never actually read by anyone )
SC: I swear to god I'm going to take you people to court if this doesn't get done. *click*
That's one smart kid you got there...
I won't do a blow by blow for this one but suffice to say I had a VERY angry woman on my line demanding I remove $275.00 in data overages. The cause of the data overages was 21 GB of Youtube, which she claimed was caused by her 2 year old son . And of course since little johnny was too young to really know what he was doing, could I just be a nice little manager and credit the charge?
No.
And then she turned into a screeching harpy. After about 3 minutes of ripping me a new one (I actually had to lower the volume on my phone it was so annoying), she gave me one last chance to credit the charge before she went to Death Star Wireless.
And how do you think that went?
Been through the desert on a phone with no name...
Me: Hello, my name is CC, I'm a Supervisor with <red checkmark> you asked to speak with me?
SC: Yes, I f**king asked to speak with you. I'm in the middle of a desert and I have no signal. Your f**king service sucks.
Me:
(...I believe I've found your problem...)Me: The middle of a desert?
SC: Pretty much, I'm in XXXX, Nevada and I have no bars!
Me: Aside from a few well populated areas in Nevada...Vegas, Reno and Carson City for example there are some weak spots in the coverage out there. It is as you say, pretty much a desert.
SC: And how is that my fault?
Me: Sir?
SC: It sounds like you're trying to blame ME for these problems!
Me: Did you create the desert?
SC: Did I...What the hell are you talking about it? I don't care for your tone.
Me: I wasn't aware I had a tone but regardless my point was you are experiencing signal issues due to natural phenomena. There's no one to blame here.
SC: No, you're wrong. I could get signal here last week, why the hell can't I get it now?!
Me: You're in a soft coverage area, that means the wireless signal can easily be affected by all manner of outside interference. Likely the last time you were out there, there was less interference.
SC: Buddy, I don't need a crash course on how cell towers work, I just need my service fixed, now if possible.
Me: I can reset your phone on the towers which may improve things slightly but there's really not much else I can do. There just aren't many towers out there.
SC: Well there should be!! What about those maps you show all over TV that have practically the whole damned country in red? There should be towers on every corner out here!
Me: It's not really financially viable to build a bunch of towers in the desert.
SC: I don't f**king care, I'm the customer. I'm paying for a service and it's your job to provide it.
Me: I can't pull a cell phone tower out of thin air sir. If you want I can add this location to the list for consideration of future cell towers. (NOTE: List does not actually exist, this is just something I say to customers to make them think I'm trying my best to help. In reality, we do have a network team that makes decisions on where to add towers, but they sure as hell don't take suggestions from us)
SC: So basically, I'm stuck with this shitty ass coverage and there's nothing you can do?
Me: I'm afraid not.
SC: Will I be compensated for this?
Me: Compensated?
SC: Yes, compensated. You do know what that means right? I pay for a service but I can't get the service so I shouldn't have to pay. Simple.
Me: We could look at a credit if the lack of signal was due to a network outage but in this case we are just dealing with the reality of trying to use a phone in the desert.
SC: You better not be about to tell me you can't give me a credit.
Me: That' what I was getting at, yes.
SC: F**k you, give me a credit!
Me: No.
SC: DO IT!!
Me: No
SC: DO IT NOW!
Me: No
SC: F**K you! *click*
You what?!
A device trade in is a simple process. We send you a phone, you send the other one back. Obviously we're not going to wait forever you to send it back. If it's not received within 30 days you WILL be charged.
This manager call comes to me courtesy of a guy upset we won't take the non return charge off his bill. He actually DID return the phone...it just took him 72 days.
Me: This is CC, I'm a manager at <red checkmark> you asked to speak with me?
SC: Yes, this phone return charge on my bill is bullshit! I sent the phone back. Do you hear me? SENT IT BACK!
Me: I understand you're frustrated sir but I promise we'll work through this ok? Now, I do see where you sent us the phone back but the deadline was Day X and you sent it back to us 42 days later on Day Y.
SC: Yeah I know, it took me awhile. I'm sorry.
Me: May I ask why it took you so long?
SC: I just didn't feel like it.
Me: *record scratch* I'm sorry, what did you say?
SC: I just didn't feel like sending the phone back. What can I say? I'm lazy sometimes.
(...you think?!...)
Me: Well that's not really a valid reason for any kind of exception. I can't credit the charge just because you didn't feel like sending it back.
SC: But you HAVE the phone!
Me: Yes, but you broke the terms of the trade in you agreed to by not sending the phone back in 30 days. Think about it this way. You charge some things to a credit card then don't pay the bill for two and a half months. Do you really think the credit card company will be nice and waive the late fees for you even after you tell them there was no real reason why you waited so long?
SC: Yes, I think they would and I think you should.
Me: Why?
SC: Because I'm the customer and the customer is always right!
Me: I'm sorry, we don't follow that particular policy here at <red checkmark>
(I swear I could almost HEAR the catbutt face through the line...have I mentioned how much I enjoy being a manager?
)SC: Huh?
Me: We have no policy here that states the customer is always right, that means these charges are valid and you'll have to pay them.
SC: Maybe I'll just go to <short run> wireless then? How would you like that?
Me: You can if you choose sir, but I promise they have deadlines too.
SC: So you're just going to let me leave huh?
Me: Of course we don't want you to go but there is nothing we can do about this charge.
SC: Fine. Screw you people, I'm going to <short run>!
Me: Would you like the cancellation effective today or at the end of your billing cycle?
SC :*click*
How about No?
This woman has had an account with <red checkmark> for a long time and is marked internally as a valuable account. That means I have more flexibility on policy exceptions but it only goes so far...
Me: Hello, this is CC, I'm a <manager> at Red Checkmark, you asked to speak with me?
SC: Now listen up and listen good because I'm only going to say this once. I have been on the phone for over three hours now. I've talked to representative after representative after representative and nothing is being done. I don't want to go back over everything that's happened. It's all in the notes. The bottom line is this: I want THREE free phones, one for every line on my account and I want $200 taken off the bill. Can you make that happen?
Me: We can certainly discuss-
SC: Can you make that happen?
Me: If I could start by asking you--
SC: Can you make that happen? YES OR NO?
Me: I can offer you--
SC: YES OR NO?!
Me: No. Not when you keep interrupting me and not letting me speak.
SC: Then let me speak with your manager.
Me: My manager does not take calls but if you want I can give you his email and he can follow up with you.
SC: Fine. Give it to me.
Me: It's bill.lumbergh@redcheckmark.com (Note: what I actually gave her IS a working address, but it's never actually read by anyone
)SC: I swear to god I'm going to take you people to court if this doesn't get done. *click*
That's one smart kid you got there...
I won't do a blow by blow for this one but suffice to say I had a VERY angry woman on my line demanding I remove $275.00 in data overages. The cause of the data overages was 21 GB of Youtube, which she claimed was caused by her 2 year old son
. And of course since little johnny was too young to really know what he was doing, could I just be a nice little manager and credit the charge?No.
And then she turned into a screeching harpy. After about 3 minutes of ripping me a new one (I actually had to lower the volume on my phone it was so annoying), she gave me one last chance to credit the charge before she went to Death Star Wireless.
And how do you think that went?
I AM the evil bastard!
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