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Did they make a special queue for me?
So I'm back in the call center game which was somewhere above "Testing razor blade suppositories" on my list of things I wanted to do in life. The field that this center services is rather small so I continue my normal tradition of being vague.
By and large, my customers tend to be nice. However, we are in our peak season and the law of averages take hold. Today, I give you the finalists in the Fecal Olympics.
Bronze: State Law Says No
Some of or customers are exempt from state sales tax. But there are some very specific rules to get this. As such, we have to be the bad guys when they violate one of those rules and can't get that:
SC: Why was I charged tax? I don't pay tax.
Me: Well, ma'am, you sent the order to your home. Unfor-
SC: NO! I've done this ELEBENTY BILLION TIMES! TAKE THE TAX OFF!
<round and round we go>
Me: I'm sorry, ma'am but this is final. I can't remove the sale tax.
SC: Cancel my order and I'm going to someone that CAN HELP ME!
Me:
Silver: Discounts Count
SC: I spoke to a sales rep and they gave us a 15% discount.
Me: Yes, I see that has been applied.
SC: But I just got a discount in the mail for 20%
<I know this discount. It's not for all items, just some. The one the rep gave was for all items. I explain this to her>
SC: But I still want it applied. I think it's unfair that no one told me.
Me: Ma'am, the one on the order is better. But it's moot anyway as the order is already being fulfilled. I can't change it.
SC: But that's not FAAAIIIR! SOMEONE SHOULD HAVE TOOOOOOLD MEEEE!
Gold: Carnac The Magnificent, I am Not
A customer has an issue with an item that comes from a vendor. With these, we put it in a request for a replacement. But not today, apparently.
ME: I apologize, ma'am. I can get a line to the vendor and get this replaced.
SC: No, I don't want a replacement.
Me: Um, okay. Well, I can offer you 15% off another item of the same type.
SC: No.
Me: Okay, well, what is it you'd like me to do?
SC: Something. I can't use this.
Me: "Something." Well, this item is over a year old and carries no warranty.
SC: But I paid A LOT OF MONEY! ($140, again from last year)
Me: Okay, but you don't want a replacement nor do you want a discount on a similar item. What is it I can do for you?
SC: I don't know! Something! FIX THIS!
Me: (completely frustrated) You're going to need to give me more than that.
SC: ....
Me:....
SC: ...I have a large order coming up and if you can't do anything to make this right, I'm going to someone else.
Me: I offered two solutions and you shot them both down.
SC: ....I want to talk to your manager.
Me:
Days like today make me wish I could drink...without, you know, the chance of dying.
By and large, my customers tend to be nice. However, we are in our peak season and the law of averages take hold. Today, I give you the finalists in the Fecal Olympics.
Bronze: State Law Says No
Some of or customers are exempt from state sales tax. But there are some very specific rules to get this. As such, we have to be the bad guys when they violate one of those rules and can't get that:
SC: Why was I charged tax? I don't pay tax.
Me: Well, ma'am, you sent the order to your home. Unfor-
SC: NO! I've done this ELEBENTY BILLION TIMES! TAKE THE TAX OFF!
<round and round we go>
Me: I'm sorry, ma'am but this is final. I can't remove the sale tax.
SC: Cancel my order and I'm going to someone that CAN HELP ME!
Me:
Silver: Discounts Count
SC: I spoke to a sales rep and they gave us a 15% discount.
Me: Yes, I see that has been applied.
SC: But I just got a discount in the mail for 20%
<I know this discount. It's not for all items, just some. The one the rep gave was for all items. I explain this to her>
SC: But I still want it applied. I think it's unfair that no one told me.
Me: Ma'am, the one on the order is better. But it's moot anyway as the order is already being fulfilled. I can't change it.
SC: But that's not FAAAIIIR! SOMEONE SHOULD HAVE TOOOOOOLD MEEEE!
Gold: Carnac The Magnificent, I am Not
A customer has an issue with an item that comes from a vendor. With these, we put it in a request for a replacement. But not today, apparently.
ME: I apologize, ma'am. I can get a line to the vendor and get this replaced.
SC: No, I don't want a replacement.
Me: Um, okay. Well, I can offer you 15% off another item of the same type.
SC: No.
Me: Okay, well, what is it you'd like me to do?
SC: Something. I can't use this.
Me: "Something." Well, this item is over a year old and carries no warranty.
SC: But I paid A LOT OF MONEY! ($140, again from last year)
Me: Okay, but you don't want a replacement nor do you want a discount on a similar item. What is it I can do for you?
SC: I don't know! Something! FIX THIS!
Me: (completely frustrated) You're going to need to give me more than that.
SC: ....
Me:....
SC: ...I have a large order coming up and if you can't do anything to make this right, I'm going to someone else.
Me: I offered two solutions and you shot them both down.
SC: ....I want to talk to your manager.
Me:
Days like today make me wish I could drink...without, you know, the chance of dying.
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