I want a boa

[Skandranon]

Heard about this one today from an employee. It's a bit of an old story, from a few years back.

Customer comes into the hospital, sans pet. Walks up to the cashier, says simply :

SC : I want a boa.
Cashier : Sorry?
SC : A boa.
Cashier : A what?
SC : A boa.
Cashier : I'm confused.
SC : I want a boa.
Cashier : What kind of boa?
SC : The big kind.

After a few more loops, it comes out that the guy is asking for a snake.

Cashier : We're not a pet store.
SC : I want a boa.
Cashier : Um... we don't have boas.
SC : Do you have pythons?
Cashier : We don't have any snakes.
CS : Iguana?
Cashier : We don't have any reptiles.
CS : What sort of pet store is this?
Cashier : We're not a pet store. This is a vet hospital.
CS : So why don't you have boas?
Cashier : We don't sell animals at all.
CS : But you should have boas.
Cashier : Sorry, we don't.
CS : Do you have pythons?
Cashier : *whimper*

The manager gets involved.

Jann (Manager, not her real name) : This is a vet hospital, not a pet store.
CS : So why don't you have boas?
Jann : We don't sell animals, we heal them.
CS : Answer the question!
Jann : I just did.
CS : No, you're giving me bull(censored) I just want an (censored) boa!
Jann : We don't HAVE boas.
CS : Why NOT?!
Jann : Because we DON'T SELL ANIMALS AT ALL.
CS : WHY NOT?!
Jann : BECAUSE THIS IS A HOSPITAL!
CS : JUST SELL ME THE (censored) BOA!!!
Jann : I CAN'T!!!
CS : WHY NOT?!!!
Jann : WE DON'T HAVE ONE!!!
CS : WHY NOT?!!!

Other manager gets called because she's more of a people person.

Sara (not her real name) : What seems to be the problem?
CS : I want a boa.
Jann : He wants us to sell him a snake.
CS : I just said that!
Sara : We don't sell animals.
CS : Why not?
Sara : Because this is a hospital.
CS : But you should have boas.
Sara : Well, we have a goat. Do you want a goat?
CS : No I don't want a goat. I want a boa.
Sara : I know someone that wants to sell a parrot.
CS : I don't want a parrot. I want a boa.
Sara : We have a few dogs up for adoption.
CS : I don't want a dog. I want a boa.
Sara : Maybe you should try a pet store.
CS : I just want a (censored) boa! Get me a boa!

Sara is pretty fed up with this, so she asks him to wait, and goes to her car. She's a theatre type, and has some costume supplies in her trunk.

Sara : Thank you for waiting. Here is your boa.

She hands him a pink feathered boa.

CS : This isn't a snake.
Sara : It's the closest you're going to get without going to a pet store.

He glowers and stalks out. And takes the boa with him.

[BookstoreEscapee]

Oh my dog!! What the hell?! (And when I read "boa" I was totally thinking pink feathers...and wondering why he was asking for one at the vet...)

[LabCat]

She hands him a pink feathered boa.

CS : This isn't a snake.
Sara : It's the closest you're going to get without going to a pet store.

That is awesome!!!!!! What an idiot, that made my brain hurt!!!

[XCashier]

You folks are a helluva lot more patient than I am. I would've booted him to the curb the moment he started yelling and/or swearing.

"Hey dimwit, we told you we don't sell animals here, do you honestly think your pitching a fit that would shame a two-year-old will magically turn an animal hospital into a pet store?! Well, I've got your pet right here:"

[Bloodsoul]

I hope that poor boa doesn't choke when it bites his head off...

[infavorofnaturalselection]

You know when I read that story I immediatly realized something. This is the type of guy who you read about that was choked to death by their pet boa constrictor.

Someone that dumb doesn't need a creature that is going to act mostly on instinct. You can peel off a boa around your neck but it requires a quick mind which is something the dumb boa owners don't have.

Also these snakes when they go poop you would honestly be surprised at how large and nasty a mess it is.

[Andara Bledin]

Also these snakes when they go poop you would honestly be surprised at how large and nasty a mess it is.

When it's the remains of a whole critter all at once, I'd expect it to be pretty nasty.

I'd have asked him to leave on skip #5. Skip #8 would be about time to call the authorities.

Love your manager's solution, though.

^-.-^

[Chained to the counter]

WAIT! Braincells come back, i promise i won't read it again.

What a moron, that was very painful

[TwoScoopsSciath]

How dumb can you get? Oh, wait...

[JustaCashier]

Sheesh! That sounds almost like an Abbott & Costello routine! (Well, maybe expcept the "Bull(censored)" part.)

I hope that Sara would not have actually gone through with the idea of putting him in touch with the owner of the parrot, or puppy. No pet should be entrusted to this idiot's care!

Mike

[Shironu-Akaineko]

Tsh, I wouldn't give him a boa. We already know how he treats animals.

See how he beat that dead horse?

[Tria]

Tsh, I wouldn't give him a boa. We already know how he treats animals.

See how he beat that dead horse?

BDSM, beastiality and necrophilia at the same time....

[mariamousie1]

I was going to say it sounds like an Abbott and Costello routine but JustaCashier beat me to it. That is the funniest thing I've read in a while. Actually made me laugh out loud. Thumbs up to your boss.

I just read it again and it wasn't you involved. Oops... Thumbs up to THAT boss.

[Becks]

Maybe if the boa were green, he would've accepted it better.