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Another week of fun at <red checkmark>
Well, that escalated quickly
Usually how this works is the rep will introduce me, tell the customer I'm on the line and release the call, at which point I reiterate I'm a manager and ask what I can help with, at which point the customer gives me their story and we go from there.
Not this lady. We couldn't get a good idea of why she was calling because she was rude to my rep from the get go and then asked for me.
I hadn't even finished my spiel when she cut me off with:
SC: Shut up, you owe me $200.
Me:
Me: Ok...and why is that?
SC: Because you suck, your phones are shit and the people in the store don't know what they're doing.
Me: I definitely apologize for the poor treatment and issues you've had. If you could give me some idea of what's going on with the phone we can look at--
SC: No, no, NO....I'm not doing this again. I've already told three of your other monkeys what's going on and I'm not getting to it again. I have wasted my time, I have wasted my energy and I've missed some very important calls. If you want any chance of me staying with your company you're going to give me $200 and you're going to do it right now. Understand?
Me: We can certainly look at compensation for your issues but I'd like a chance to fix --
SC: No, no, NO. This is not troubleshooting session. I'm not turning my phone off and back on, I'm not messing with my settings and I'm not uninstalling any apps. This is NOT a negotiation. You WILL give me $200.
Me: I'm afraid I can't approve any credit without proper troubleshooting. We want to make sure your issue is fixed before we talk about compensation.
SC: YOUR WHOLE COMPANY IS THE ISSUE!! Every last damned one of you! And these phones, these garbage phones! LISTEN to what I'm telling you. You don't need to figure out what the problem is. I KNOW what the problem is and if you want to fix it you better give me $200.
Me: No.
SC: What did you just say?
Me: I said no.
SC: How dare you.
Me: I can't approve a credit unless the issue is resolved.
SC: Look jackass, I'm only going to tell you one more time. GIVE ME $200. If you don't, I'm going to your corporate headquarters, the BBB, the FCC, the Attorney General and the local media and I'll have your job. Now GIVE me $200!!
Me: No.
SC: You're a real rat f**ker aren't you? Fine. You want to be that way, be that way, but don't say I didn't warn you. You better clean out your desk, you won't be needing it much longer! *click*
I never did figure out exactly WHY she felt deserved an extra $200 in the first place. Oh well, I think I'll go buy some new stuff to put on my desk.
Burn baby burn?
This one, just...wow.
Guy was RAGING mad because we were charging him $650 for an iPhone 6 he was supposed to trade in but we never got. The guy swears up and down he dropped it off at the post office but we have NO tracking information on it and neither does he because of course, it never occurred to him it might be a good idea to get a tracking number for an $600 phone, but I digress.
He's only been with us two years, cut off three times for non payment. Not exactly an all star customer. We've already confirmed with our warehouse that they don't have the phone. We don't have tracking either, so we have no way to prove this phone was mailed in the first place.
Yes, that sucks, but it's not our fault that YOU didn't get a receipt when you dropped it off.
We'll join this one midway on...
SC: What did you just say?
Me: I said that since we have no proof of the phone being received and no tracking to indicate it was even sent we won't be able to do anything about this charge.
SC: Wrong answer buddy. Wrong f**king answer.
Me: I'm afraid it's the only answer sir.
SC: Now you listen to me, I don't care if I have to stay on this line all f**king night I'm not hanging up until you give me a credit.
Me: Let's keep it professional please. I would recommend going back to the post office where you dropped it off and see if they have any information they could give you. If we can confirm receipt, we can take care of the charge.
SC: NO! I didn't cause this problem, YOU caused this problem and I'll be damned if I'm the one who is going to fix it.
Me: Without tracking I can't give a credit.
SC: You're starting to piss me off buddy.
Me: (Really? I couldn't tell)
Me: I really apologize for the frustrations sir. The best I can offer is $150 credit on the charges since you've never received a credit before.
SC: $150? $150?!?!?! Are you smoking crack?? No, NO! Not $150, $650, you hear me? $650.
Me: I can't do that sir unless we can figure out where the phone got to.
SC: Then you better start making calls, because I'M NOT doing anything else.
Me: We've already done everything we can do on our end. I'm sorry.
SC: Look, son I am NOT messing around.
Me. I never said you were.
SC: *Grumbles* Look, you better give me my f**king money or we're going to have serious problems.
(He's getting very agitated, playing a hunch, I tap a button that triggers the call to record)
Me: I'd be happy to...if we had proof of where the phone might be.
SC: TO HELL WITH YOU!! Look....damn it!! I'm over it, I'm just over it. Now you listen to me and listen good. If you don't give me the money, I'm going to drive down there and burn your whole f**king call center straight to the ground!! Do you hear me!!
Me: Yes, I hear you sir, but I must warn you. Making threats will cause me to the get the police involved.
SC: You don't have the balls...
Me: Actually, I do. You've just threatened to burn down this entire center and everyone in it. That IS a crime.
SC: F**k you. I don't care, I'll get you. I promise I'll get you. EVERY LAST DAMNED ONE OF YOU!! *CLICK*
Lovely, just freaking lovely. No, I'm not afraid for my life because I never told that guy where I was, but, just by making that threat I now have to fill out a bunch of paperwork and pass his info on to corporate security so they can engage law enforcement and we go from there. I hope this guy gets arrested for something. I'll update once I hear more.
Are you a god?
Apparently this SC thought I was...at least when it comes to mobile networks.
You see he had taken one of our devices over to D-Mobile and he was having problems. He was practically screaming at me because it wasn't working very well on that network.
I calmly explain to him that we CANNOT gurantee service with our devices on OTHER networks.
Not good enough for him. He think since it says <Red Checkmark> on the phone, I should be the one responsible for making it work no matter WHICH carrier he goes to.
To that end, he then demands I call D-mobile and do "whatever is necessary" to get his phone working.
I said no, he got all pissy at me and told me I'm a douche, at which point I kind of got a little firm with him.
"Ok sir, look. I've given you all the help I can. I'm sorry your phone isn't working but you're with D-mobile now, you have to take it up with them."
"Unacceptable! This is NOT how you treat a customer!"
"Actually, since you left us for D-mobile you're not really a customer so I don't owe you anything. Sorry."
"Well I never! I'm going to keep calling back until someone fixes this! *CLICK*
Good luck with that. Look, I get that it's cool you can get phones from just about anywhere in the world and use them on U.S. networks, but you just can't expect everything to work flawlessly. Not all cell networks are equal. <Red Checkmark> has a history of not playing so well with D-Mobile and Death Star Wireless. And don't even get me started on those dual SIM Korean phones some customers mess around with...
Mark it ZERO!
This was another one of those douchecanoe business owners I get more times often than not. He pays about $500 a month for service. He claims to make "Thousands of dollars a day" running his business. As a result of a network issue he lost service for a couple of days.
Ok, that sucks, but hey, we accept responsibility and we're more than happy to offer a credit for those days. That credit only worked out to $17 and change but seeing as how he does have a good account history I decided to up it to $40.
The guy then FLIPS OUT about how I have disrespected and insulted him with such a lowball offer. He wants his entire bill credited for the issue.
Not going to happen.
For whatever reason (I still don't honestly know why I did this), I counter offered with $80 which was MORE than fair.
Guy gets mad again and says that's still insulting and apparently he makes more than $80 in the time it takes him to use the bathroom.
Well good for you champ, but I'm still not going above $80.
We go around like this for a few minutes until finally he tells me he knows some <Red Checkmark> executives and he's going to make sure I am fired and he is well compensated for this "poor treatment" and then hangs up.
Threatened with my job twice in one week? I must be getting good at this.
Not sucky, just funny
We've seen an uptick in fraud lately. We get a call from a man with a thick indian accent claiming to be Stephen Brown from Tennessee. Of course he can verify Mr. Browns last 4 and address.
Now of course, I'm not saying that there couldn't be an Indian guy named Stephen Brown in TN but we had a few more red flags here:
1) the caller sounded like he himself was in a call center
2) he wanted to order three iPhone 6S plus phones
3) He wanted them shipped to an address in California.
Yeah...no. Not happening.
But here's the funny part. I had my rep go ahead and pretend to take the order, complete with bogus order number, while I gathered the information from (and recorded) the call so we could get the fraud team on it. We even told the guy we'd throw in three free cases too.
Oh I love messing with scammers.
Well, that escalated quickly
Usually how this works is the rep will introduce me, tell the customer I'm on the line and release the call, at which point I reiterate I'm a manager and ask what I can help with, at which point the customer gives me their story and we go from there.
Not this lady. We couldn't get a good idea of why she was calling because she was rude to my rep from the get go and then asked for me.
I hadn't even finished my spiel when she cut me off with:
SC: Shut up, you owe me $200.
Me:
Me: Ok...and why is that?
SC: Because you suck, your phones are shit and the people in the store don't know what they're doing.
Me: I definitely apologize for the poor treatment and issues you've had. If you could give me some idea of what's going on with the phone we can look at--
SC: No, no, NO....I'm not doing this again. I've already told three of your other monkeys what's going on and I'm not getting to it again. I have wasted my time, I have wasted my energy and I've missed some very important calls. If you want any chance of me staying with your company you're going to give me $200 and you're going to do it right now. Understand?
Me: We can certainly look at compensation for your issues but I'd like a chance to fix --
SC: No, no, NO. This is not troubleshooting session. I'm not turning my phone off and back on, I'm not messing with my settings and I'm not uninstalling any apps. This is NOT a negotiation. You WILL give me $200.
Me: I'm afraid I can't approve any credit without proper troubleshooting. We want to make sure your issue is fixed before we talk about compensation.
SC: YOUR WHOLE COMPANY IS THE ISSUE!! Every last damned one of you! And these phones, these garbage phones! LISTEN to what I'm telling you. You don't need to figure out what the problem is. I KNOW what the problem is and if you want to fix it you better give me $200.
Me: No.
SC: What did you just say?
Me: I said no.
SC: How dare you.
Me: I can't approve a credit unless the issue is resolved.
SC: Look jackass, I'm only going to tell you one more time. GIVE ME $200. If you don't, I'm going to your corporate headquarters, the BBB, the FCC, the Attorney General and the local media and I'll have your job. Now GIVE me $200!!
Me: No.
SC: You're a real rat f**ker aren't you? Fine. You want to be that way, be that way, but don't say I didn't warn you. You better clean out your desk, you won't be needing it much longer! *click*
I never did figure out exactly WHY she felt deserved an extra $200 in the first place. Oh well, I think I'll go buy some new stuff to put on my desk.
Burn baby burn?
This one, just...wow.
Guy was RAGING mad because we were charging him $650 for an iPhone 6 he was supposed to trade in but we never got. The guy swears up and down he dropped it off at the post office but we have NO tracking information on it and neither does he because of course, it never occurred to him it might be a good idea to get a tracking number for an $600 phone, but I digress.
He's only been with us two years, cut off three times for non payment. Not exactly an all star customer. We've already confirmed with our warehouse that they don't have the phone. We don't have tracking either, so we have no way to prove this phone was mailed in the first place.
Yes, that sucks, but it's not our fault that YOU didn't get a receipt when you dropped it off.
We'll join this one midway on...
SC: What did you just say?
Me: I said that since we have no proof of the phone being received and no tracking to indicate it was even sent we won't be able to do anything about this charge.
SC: Wrong answer buddy. Wrong f**king answer.
Me: I'm afraid it's the only answer sir.
SC: Now you listen to me, I don't care if I have to stay on this line all f**king night I'm not hanging up until you give me a credit.
Me: Let's keep it professional please. I would recommend going back to the post office where you dropped it off and see if they have any information they could give you. If we can confirm receipt, we can take care of the charge.
SC: NO! I didn't cause this problem, YOU caused this problem and I'll be damned if I'm the one who is going to fix it.
Me: Without tracking I can't give a credit.
SC: You're starting to piss me off buddy.
Me: (Really? I couldn't tell)
Me: I really apologize for the frustrations sir. The best I can offer is $150 credit on the charges since you've never received a credit before.
SC: $150? $150?!?!?! Are you smoking crack?? No, NO! Not $150, $650, you hear me? $650.
Me: I can't do that sir unless we can figure out where the phone got to.
SC: Then you better start making calls, because I'M NOT doing anything else.
Me: We've already done everything we can do on our end. I'm sorry.
SC: Look, son I am NOT messing around.
Me. I never said you were.
SC: *Grumbles* Look, you better give me my f**king money or we're going to have serious problems.
(He's getting very agitated, playing a hunch, I tap a button that triggers the call to record)
Me: I'd be happy to...if we had proof of where the phone might be.
SC: TO HELL WITH YOU!! Look....damn it!! I'm over it, I'm just over it. Now you listen to me and listen good. If you don't give me the money, I'm going to drive down there and burn your whole f**king call center straight to the ground!! Do you hear me!!
Me: Yes, I hear you sir, but I must warn you. Making threats will cause me to the get the police involved.
SC: You don't have the balls...
Me: Actually, I do. You've just threatened to burn down this entire center and everyone in it. That IS a crime.
SC: F**k you. I don't care, I'll get you. I promise I'll get you. EVERY LAST DAMNED ONE OF YOU!! *CLICK*
Lovely, just freaking lovely. No, I'm not afraid for my life because I never told that guy where I was, but, just by making that threat I now have to fill out a bunch of paperwork and pass his info on to corporate security so they can engage law enforcement and we go from there. I hope this guy gets arrested for something. I'll update once I hear more.
Are you a god?
Apparently this SC thought I was...at least when it comes to mobile networks.
You see he had taken one of our devices over to D-Mobile and he was having problems. He was practically screaming at me because it wasn't working very well on that network.
I calmly explain to him that we CANNOT gurantee service with our devices on OTHER networks.
Not good enough for him. He think since it says <Red Checkmark> on the phone, I should be the one responsible for making it work no matter WHICH carrier he goes to.
To that end, he then demands I call D-mobile and do "whatever is necessary" to get his phone working.
I said no, he got all pissy at me and told me I'm a douche, at which point I kind of got a little firm with him.
"Ok sir, look. I've given you all the help I can. I'm sorry your phone isn't working but you're with D-mobile now, you have to take it up with them."
"Unacceptable! This is NOT how you treat a customer!"
"Actually, since you left us for D-mobile you're not really a customer so I don't owe you anything. Sorry."
"Well I never! I'm going to keep calling back until someone fixes this! *CLICK*
Good luck with that. Look, I get that it's cool you can get phones from just about anywhere in the world and use them on U.S. networks, but you just can't expect everything to work flawlessly. Not all cell networks are equal. <Red Checkmark> has a history of not playing so well with D-Mobile and Death Star Wireless. And don't even get me started on those dual SIM Korean phones some customers mess around with...
Mark it ZERO!
This was another one of those douchecanoe business owners I get more times often than not. He pays about $500 a month for service. He claims to make "Thousands of dollars a day" running his business. As a result of a network issue he lost service for a couple of days.
Ok, that sucks, but hey, we accept responsibility and we're more than happy to offer a credit for those days. That credit only worked out to $17 and change but seeing as how he does have a good account history I decided to up it to $40.
The guy then FLIPS OUT about how I have disrespected and insulted him with such a lowball offer. He wants his entire bill credited for the issue.
Not going to happen.
For whatever reason (I still don't honestly know why I did this), I counter offered with $80 which was MORE than fair.
Guy gets mad again and says that's still insulting and apparently he makes more than $80 in the time it takes him to use the bathroom.
Well good for you champ, but I'm still not going above $80.
We go around like this for a few minutes until finally he tells me he knows some <Red Checkmark> executives and he's going to make sure I am fired and he is well compensated for this "poor treatment" and then hangs up.
Threatened with my job twice in one week? I must be getting good at this.
Not sucky, just funny
We've seen an uptick in fraud lately. We get a call from a man with a thick indian accent claiming to be Stephen Brown from Tennessee. Of course he can verify Mr. Browns last 4 and address.
Now of course, I'm not saying that there couldn't be an Indian guy named Stephen Brown in TN but we had a few more red flags here:
1) the caller sounded like he himself was in a call center
2) he wanted to order three iPhone 6S plus phones
3) He wanted them shipped to an address in California.
Yeah...no. Not happening.
But here's the funny part. I had my rep go ahead and pretend to take the order, complete with bogus order number, while I gathered the information from (and recorded) the call so we could get the fraud team on it. We even told the guy we'd throw in three free cases too.
Oh I love messing with scammers.
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