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This is purely hypothetical on my part, but I'm guessing that your landlord hates your guts.
Why, because you are behind on your rent maybe? Or that you recently did something that caused the Sheriff's Department's car to show up in the driveway of your rental house last month? The Sheriff of a DIFFERENT county no less...
Well, if that wasn't enough reason for him to chew linoleum upon seeing you, there's definately the matter that you have an un-inspected half-wrecked (seriously, it has NO headlights left) car in the driveway of his rental house that you've repeatedly brushed off his demands you do something about. Apparently, you "don't have the money" to fix it.
Anyway, you've pissed off your landlord so much that he had us install a "NO PARKING" sign IN THE DRIVEWAY OF THE HOUSE, a ONE-CAR driveway, SPECIFICALLY TO TOW YOU next time you parked there.... yeah, that's right, we went out and installed a legally-mandated "NO PARKING VIOLATORS TOWED" sign, on a post, in the yard just off the driveway because he WANTS YOU GONE AND/OR DEAD.
What's that tell you? Apparently nothing, because you, suh-prizey, parked there.
And we towed you. (Well, that aforementioned rattletrap half-wrecked car you own, actually, it looks like it belongs at a county fair being crushed by something with huge tires and a nickname like "Truckzilla" or "Dieselsaurus Rex" )
So you are forced to shell out $130 just to get it out of hock with us (actually more, that busted driver's side window means we had to crash-wrap it, extra $40) That's quite the mark-up on something worth only maybe that much in scrap weight at current market. Strangely, you didn't plea poverty with us. So, why you have enough money to get the car back, but not enough to put headlights in it to make it legal (let alone that back rent) shows me you may have a very fuzzy grasp on economics.
Well, now that you've had it spelled out to you, that your landlord clearly hates you, and that we're clearly going to come for you, you wouldn't go directly BACK there and park again would you?
Would you?
Oh, who the hell am I kidding? Of course you would, You DID!
And when we went there to get you the SECOND TIME, you tried to DRIVE OFF the tow truck. Why you thought that was going to work, I don't know, where were you going to go? This is a one car driveway after all. With us half in the street, and your car half in the air, and only maybe two feet in front of it before you hit the side of the house (Your landlord already hates you, this will make him LOATHE you!)
Well, you tried it anyway.
And you managed to get your TIRES out of the truck, but, then, of course, with nothing to support that weight, your car fell and got hung up by it's rear bumper and was effectively speared. (Well, why stop at half-damaged? go all the way dude!)
And THEN you called the cops on us.
Mind you, the cops, or rather one of their fraternal agencies, has been AFTER YOU for something, and you STILL called them....
And they, of course, made it very clear that if you didn't want to get a ride from them, you'd pay us for the drop, and get that car off the property, and they'll even be gents about it and NOT immediately cite you for that uninspected headlight-less car the instant the tires hit public roadway because it's daylight out right now.
NOW you plea poverty
That didn't work, unless you were pleading poverty of grey matter, that's TOTALLY believable.
They also didn't believe your claim we picked your car up from the back and mashed the bumper, as they've seen the classic "tried to drive off the truck" wear pattern just as much as we have.
So, that's over $300 to us, on a junk car worth $200 that you KNOW will get towed if you park it where you keep parking it....
Time will only tell if they go for the trifecta tomorrow and park there again, anyone want to work up a betting line for me?
Oh, and congratulations by the way, now not only does your landlord hate you, I hate you too!!! That's two down, 10 billion to go!!!! Keep at it Skippy, I hate quitters, especially only 5 days in to a new year.
Why, because you are behind on your rent maybe? Or that you recently did something that caused the Sheriff's Department's car to show up in the driveway of your rental house last month? The Sheriff of a DIFFERENT county no less...
Well, if that wasn't enough reason for him to chew linoleum upon seeing you, there's definately the matter that you have an un-inspected half-wrecked (seriously, it has NO headlights left) car in the driveway of his rental house that you've repeatedly brushed off his demands you do something about. Apparently, you "don't have the money" to fix it. Anyway, you've pissed off your landlord so much that he had us install a "NO PARKING" sign IN THE DRIVEWAY OF THE HOUSE, a ONE-CAR driveway, SPECIFICALLY TO TOW YOU next time you parked there.... yeah, that's right, we went out and installed a legally-mandated "NO PARKING VIOLATORS TOWED" sign, on a post, in the yard just off the driveway because he WANTS YOU GONE AND/OR DEAD.
What's that tell you? Apparently nothing, because you, suh-prizey, parked there.
And we towed you. (Well, that aforementioned rattletrap half-wrecked car you own, actually, it looks like it belongs at a county fair being crushed by something with huge tires and a nickname like "Truckzilla" or "Dieselsaurus Rex" )
So you are forced to shell out $130 just to get it out of hock with us (actually more, that busted driver's side window means we had to crash-wrap it, extra $40) That's quite the mark-up on something worth only maybe that much in scrap weight at current market. Strangely, you didn't plea poverty with us. So, why you have enough money to get the car back, but not enough to put headlights in it to make it legal (let alone that back rent) shows me you may have a very fuzzy grasp on economics.
Well, now that you've had it spelled out to you, that your landlord clearly hates you, and that we're clearly going to come for you, you wouldn't go directly BACK there and park again would you?
Would you?
Oh, who the hell am I kidding? Of course you would, You DID!
And when we went there to get you the SECOND TIME, you tried to DRIVE OFF the tow truck. Why you thought that was going to work, I don't know, where were you going to go? This is a one car driveway after all. With us half in the street, and your car half in the air, and only maybe two feet in front of it before you hit the side of the house (Your landlord already hates you, this will make him LOATHE you!)
Well, you tried it anyway.
And you managed to get your TIRES out of the truck, but, then, of course, with nothing to support that weight, your car fell and got hung up by it's rear bumper and was effectively speared. (Well, why stop at half-damaged? go all the way dude!)
And THEN you called the cops on us.
Mind you, the cops, or rather one of their fraternal agencies, has been AFTER YOU for something, and you STILL called them....
And they, of course, made it very clear that if you didn't want to get a ride from them, you'd pay us for the drop, and get that car off the property, and they'll even be gents about it and NOT immediately cite you for that uninspected headlight-less car the instant the tires hit public roadway because it's daylight out right now.
NOW you plea poverty
That didn't work, unless you were pleading poverty of grey matter, that's TOTALLY believable.
They also didn't believe your claim we picked your car up from the back and mashed the bumper, as they've seen the classic "tried to drive off the truck" wear pattern just as much as we have.
So, that's over $300 to us, on a junk car worth $200 that you KNOW will get towed if you park it where you keep parking it....
Time will only tell if they go for the trifecta tomorrow and park there again, anyone want to work up a betting line for me?
Oh, and congratulations by the way, now not only does your landlord hate you, I hate you too!!! That's two down, 10 billion to go!!!! Keep at it Skippy, I hate quitters, especially only 5 days in to a new year.
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