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No, I'm not talking about wrestling, I'm talking about those unfortunate instances where we, as customer service employees, get teamed up on by multiple SCs at the same time. I seem to run in to several variations at <red Checkmark>...
The SC and the NOT SC
There's a calm, seemingly rational person on my line but there's also a raging SC in the background screaming, ranting and raving at my caller to make sure they get what they want. Every time we think we have a reasonable solution, SC pipes up and everything falls apart. For example, rational person and I negotiate a $50 credit for something, then SC starts screaming in the background that she wants $75, so the rational person then tries to get me for $75, which I refuse and the cycle begins again...
Two of a kind
These are the WORST. A raging SC on the line AND another one in the background double teaming me in relentless avalanche of rage and stupidity. I'm not even going to lie, there are times that I have specifically ended these calls by saying "Unless I can speak to a single person to get this resolved this conversation will not continue." I will not be tricked, I will not be fooled and I will not be intimidated. You can try SCs, but it will not work. I often times have husband/wife or boyfriend/girlfriend combos coming at me. It gets aggravating every time.
The Coach and the Player
I'm talking to a caller but there is someone in the background telling the caller exactly what to say, how to say it, when I am right, when I am wrong, what I need to do, etc, etc, etc.
Just...NO!
Either put the person in the background ON THE CALL with me so we can figure this thing out or get your act together BEFORE you call. Doing it actively on the call like this just means I have to do everything twice and we end up going nowhere half as quickly.
Kids corner
I understand kids do eventually need to grow up and learn how to navigate society. Part of this involves learning how to handle customer service calls. That being said, it is NOT appropriate for you to try and force me to talk to your 13 year old about a complicated billing issue on your account, especially when I can hear you in the background helping him through it. Put the call on speakerphone and let him listen, that's fine, but when I can tell this poor kid is getting totally confused by all the terms and numbers I am throwing at him we have a serious problem.
Bonus points on this one for SCs who then blame me for being "mean to their kids"
The gangbangers
I saved the worst of the worst for last. These are those rare but unfortuante instances when you have a whole crew of SCs going at you at once. This has happened twice to me lately:
- One an entire family consisting of Mom, Dad, Daughter and Son-in-law. They were all nasty people and they kept passing the phone around to one another on the call. Every SCism you could think of, they hit: <red checkmark> sucks, they have no service, they want free phones, they want "compensation" for their troubles, they're going to the FCC, etc, etc, etc. Finally I just gave up, explained to ONE of them what the end game was here (short version: they're getting nothing) and told them they can explain it to the rest of them because I'm not repeating myself again.
- The second incident was three people. Coworkers at some small business we apparently provide services to. Each one got progressively nastier than the last demanding discounts, free upgrades, better plans at no cost, waived fees. They went on and on about how much money they spend with us and how valuable their time is and how great it would be for <red checkmark> to treat them right because they would send "millions of dollars" in business our way.
It was a single small business account...with 6 lines...paying less than $400/month.
Yeah, you're not getting anything you idiots. Hit the bricks.
The SC and the NOT SC
There's a calm, seemingly rational person on my line but there's also a raging SC in the background screaming, ranting and raving at my caller to make sure they get what they want. Every time we think we have a reasonable solution, SC pipes up and everything falls apart. For example, rational person and I negotiate a $50 credit for something, then SC starts screaming in the background that she wants $75, so the rational person then tries to get me for $75, which I refuse and the cycle begins again...
Two of a kind
These are the WORST. A raging SC on the line AND another one in the background double teaming me in relentless avalanche of rage and stupidity. I'm not even going to lie, there are times that I have specifically ended these calls by saying "Unless I can speak to a single person to get this resolved this conversation will not continue." I will not be tricked, I will not be fooled and I will not be intimidated. You can try SCs, but it will not work. I often times have husband/wife or boyfriend/girlfriend combos coming at me. It gets aggravating every time.
The Coach and the Player
I'm talking to a caller but there is someone in the background telling the caller exactly what to say, how to say it, when I am right, when I am wrong, what I need to do, etc, etc, etc.
Just...NO!
Either put the person in the background ON THE CALL with me so we can figure this thing out or get your act together BEFORE you call. Doing it actively on the call like this just means I have to do everything twice and we end up going nowhere half as quickly.
Kids corner
I understand kids do eventually need to grow up and learn how to navigate society. Part of this involves learning how to handle customer service calls. That being said, it is NOT appropriate for you to try and force me to talk to your 13 year old about a complicated billing issue on your account, especially when I can hear you in the background helping him through it. Put the call on speakerphone and let him listen, that's fine, but when I can tell this poor kid is getting totally confused by all the terms and numbers I am throwing at him we have a serious problem.
Bonus points on this one for SCs who then blame me for being "mean to their kids"
The gangbangers
I saved the worst of the worst for last. These are those rare but unfortuante instances when you have a whole crew of SCs going at you at once. This has happened twice to me lately:
- One an entire family consisting of Mom, Dad, Daughter and Son-in-law. They were all nasty people and they kept passing the phone around to one another on the call. Every SCism you could think of, they hit: <red checkmark> sucks, they have no service, they want free phones, they want "compensation" for their troubles, they're going to the FCC, etc, etc, etc. Finally I just gave up, explained to ONE of them what the end game was here (short version: they're getting nothing) and told them they can explain it to the rest of them because I'm not repeating myself again.
- The second incident was three people. Coworkers at some small business we apparently provide services to. Each one got progressively nastier than the last demanding discounts, free upgrades, better plans at no cost, waived fees. They went on and on about how much money they spend with us and how valuable their time is and how great it would be for <red checkmark> to treat them right because they would send "millions of dollars" in business our way.
It was a single small business account...with 6 lines...paying less than $400/month.
Yeah, you're not getting anything you idiots. Hit the bricks.
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