Jerkus Interruptus

[CrazedClerkthe2nd]

I didn't think I'd be back so soon, but here I am with more SCs!

Nog create fire. Fire good.

I had to take over this call from my rep because neither of us could figure out what in the hell this customer wanted.

Me: Hello, I'm CC a manager with <red checkmark>, what can I do for you today?
SC: Phone!
Me: Excuse me?
SC: Phone! Phone Broke! Need new phone!
Me: Okay, I understand now, What happened to it?
SC: It broke. Phone broke. Need new phone!
(Now I know what you may be thinking, but this was NOT an ESL customer or someone with a thick accent. In fact he had almost no accent at all)
Me: Right but how did your phone get broken?
SC: Broke. Phone Broke! Need new phone.
Me: I can arrange a new phone for you but I need more information first.
SC: PHONE BROKE! NEED NEW PHONE!
Me: When did this happen?
SC: New phone! New phone! Phone broke! Need new phone!
Me: WHAT happened to your phone?
SC: Phone broke...phone broke...why you don't help me? *CLICK*

I honestly have no idea on this one.

Store Wars: The Farce Awakens

Ok, let me guess this straight: You work at a <red checkmark> store. Earlier this week, you sold the customer the wrong kind of phone, changed their grandfathered plan by mistake AND added a line to their account they didn't want.

You managed to fix the wrong phone snafu but now you want me to:

- Put them back on their grandfathered plan
- Cancel the line you added in error
- Waive the activation fee on the phone YOU screwed up on just because
- AND give them a high end bluetooth speaker for FREE because of the inconvenience the customer has been through trying to resolve this.



No.

YOU made this mess. YOU caused the problem. YOU need to get with your MANAGER and store support and fix it. It's not my job to fix the damage you caused. I feel bad for the customer, but I gotta defer to the chain of command on this one. We have a dedicated store support department for a reason. USE IT.

Also, even though you refused to give me your ID, you failed to realize YOU were the one who processed the original transactions and the system stamps those transactions with YOUR ID. Which means I have it and I will be sending your manager a lengthy email on this debacle.

Thanks for playing.

Jerkus interruptus

Guy demanded a manager because he's decided he doesn't like the phone he got last month and no longer feels he should have to pay for it or at the very least be allowed to switch to a different device. Doesn't work that way. I explain that to him and he goes into full on SC mode...

SC: Maybe you didn't hear me, I didn't ask what your policy was, I TOLD you what I WANTED and I expect you to make it happen.
Me: I understood you perfectly sir, but --
SC: No, no. Stop. Shut up. I'm talking, you're listening. Once again, I TOLD you what I want.
Me: I realize that sir, however --
SC: STOP!! Do they not train you people to listen?? This is NOT a negotiation, this is NOT up for debate. I am TELLING you what you are going to do for me and I expect it to be done.
Me: What I'm trying to explain to you is--
SC: Shut up. What *I* am explaining to *YOU* is that I WANT ANOTHER PHONE or I want you to zero out all the remaining payments on this one. PERIOD.
Me: I understand that but the standard return policy--
SC: I DON'T CARE ABOUT THE POLICY!! TO HELL WITH YOUR POLICY! FIX THIS NOW!!
Me: Please calm down and I'll be more than happy to--
SC: SHUT UP! Can you give me what I want or not??
Me: Well not exactly, but what I can--
SC: THEN GET ME SOMEONE WHO CAN!
Me: I can connect with you another manager, but I can't make any promises about what they'll do.
SC: GET ME SOMEONE WHO CAN!
Me: Please hold for a senior manager.

This guy gets on with my manager and starts screaming bloody murder about this phone thing, my manager finally tells him what I'd been trying to. Namely, he DOES have some options to get another phone but not quite in the way he wants. SC didn't go for it, said he was going to file a BBB complaint about us (oh noes, not the BBB! ) and hung up.

Guess whose account is now being monitored for abusive behavior?

And you called US?!?!?!

Sometimes we just get really, REALLY random calls. A sampling:

- No, we won't order you a pizza.
- No, we can't connect you through to your mother
- No, we aren't the government
- No, we won't call HBO and demand they fix your app
- No, we won't credit your account because the bus app gave you the wrong schedule
- No, we won't call Best Buy and make them give you a free case

And finally:

- Let's review: Your 74 year old mother who has Alzheimer's has been missing for 12 HOURS and you CALL US wanting us to try and locate her. What?? WHAT?!?! OMG, CALL THE FREAKING POLICE!!! We're a mobile carrier, not freaking CSI. I HATE that people assume I can just click a couple of buttons on my computer and tell them which drawer of their dresser their phone is in.

[Mr Hero]

- No, we aren't the government

Even though you have a direct line to Barrack Obama?

[MoonCat]

That guy - that guy interrupting you with all those fucking outrageous demands - that guy is someone I would laugh at, long and hard, and hang up on.

Yeah, I'd get fired, but honest to God that pushes all my buttons in a really bad way. I would NOT be able to put up with that. Kudos to you for keeping your patience and professionalism.

[Sidhera]

For the first one, I really did start reading it in a caveman voice. Then it occurred to me that it might be a trained parrot. Phone Phone Give me Phone!!!!

[Ironclad Alibi]

- No, we aren't the government

Even though you have a direct line to Barrack Obama?

But that direct line isn't for the government, it's for the Illuminati, or whatever they're calling themselves these days.

[Mr Hero]

But that direct line isn't for the government, it's for the Illuminati, or whatever they're calling themselves these days.

I took care of our Illuminati problem this morning. They came close to erasing my game however. (This is a game spoiler BTW but won't say which)

[Ironclad Alibi]

I took care of our Illuminati problem this morning. They came close to erasing my game however. (This is a game spoiler BTW but won't say which)

Oh lovely. Another puzzle to solve.

[KuariKaydrith]

I have an Illuminati character in The Secret World...but that's probably not the right game haha

[Catwoman2965]

Why is it people seem to think that demanding something will make it happen? There's no free lunch! I don't care how special you think you are, policies still apply to you. end of story.

Wow.

[AngryFaery]

If you can't accept "no" as an answer, expect to be disappointed a lot. People are less likely to go out of their with what they can do if you don't let them talk.

[icmedia]

I think that first guy still thought he was talking to an automated system; I used to be a radio/wedding DJ, and when I answer the phone at my store (with my "professional" voice) I often hear people dialing "0" as if they are trying to reach an operator.

[Crai]

Why is it people seem to think that demanding something will make it happen? There's no free lunch! I don't care how special you think you are, policies still apply to you. end of story.

Wow.

Because they have been trained that Demanding = get what you want by mommykins and daddykins. Its the entitlement society we all live in. This doesn't just apply to millennials.

We live in an instant gratification society, instant tv, instant movies, download the game and play instantly, instant food, shop online and have delivered next day, 24/7 every store. No one has to put in hard work, or time for what they want its all available every sec of every day and if it is held up for one nano sec then scream and throw a fit.

... I hate people!!! A person is fine people suck.

[CrazedClerkthe2nd]

I think that first guy still thought he was talking to an automated system; I used to be a radio/wedding DJ, and when I answer the phone at my store (with my "professional" voice) I often hear people dialing "0" as if they are trying to reach an operator.

I don't think I sound much like an automated system, but you may be on to something there.

[Mr Hero]

If you pretend to be an automated system, you should do something like, "We're sorry. The attitude in which you used to demand help is too entitled."

[Kanalah]

If you pretend to be an automated system, you should do something like, "We're sorry. The attitude in which you used to demand help is too entitled."

Where's the like button!